


Will You Give Me the Love I Cannot Ask For?

by Poison_Love_Words



Series: Give and Take [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Protective Thor (Marvel), Rimming, Sex Toys, Size Kink, Top Thor (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:21:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 64,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poison_Love_Words/pseuds/Poison_Love_Words
Summary: Loki hid behind his walls of sarcasm and deception. He ached for someone to see past his lies, but his fears always seemed to get in the way.Of course, this was before he met a man who would not only show him his walls were not impenetrable, but that he needed to be set free from them.Then there was Thor.  Who only wanted someone he could love and care for.  He believes that it is a far-fetched dream, what with how his wants always seem so abnormal to others.This is the story of how two people fall in love and realize they are not such broken freaks after all.  Too bad they need a little help from their friends, two cats, and so so sooooo many impure thoughts.**December 29, 2018-Updating and editing for readability. Chapters 1-5 complete**





	1. The Best Worst Meet Cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost everything I know about lawyers I learned from Suits and Ally McBeal. 
> 
> This is going to start out slow. Then get angsty, followed by some kinky fun stuff with some more angst. 
> 
> This is not Beta read and all mistakes are my own.

Loki is purposefully running late; not that he would admit this to anyone. He smirks to himself, knowing his friends will believe his excuse of a last-minute client call. Checking his watch, he determines that everyone should be at least two drinks in. Just enough for them to be slightly unfocused; for them not to notice. It isn't like he doesn’t want to join them. It is more a desire to keep everyone from being too observant. A trait Loki typically admires, when it is directed at others and not himself.

Walking into the bar, Loki takes a moment to survey his surroundings. The bar isn't crowded, although 8 pm is probably still early for a Friday night. Loki feels himself relax as he takes in the soft lighting, gleaming off the dark wood of the bar. The bar has an assortment of bottles and glasses lined-up behind the bartender. The floor layout is tidy, with high round tables for people to stand around and low cushioned benches around rectangular tables for groups. The walls are covered with what appears to be hand-drawn sketches and pictures.

"There's the Ice Prince!"

Loki is abruptly drawn out of his assessment by Tony's loud boisterous greeting. He smiles as he spots his friends seated around one of the lower tables. 

"We started to wonder if you had forsaken us all," Tony continues with a snicker, "though, I wouldn't blame you after I learned dear Black Widow here didn't bring her riding crop and CFBs."

Loki lets out a quiet snort as he sits next to Natasha, aka Black Widow. He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. She graces him with a small smile before turning her glare on Tony. Bruce, sitting on her other side, chokes on his beer, trying to hide a laugh at the look. Jarvis glances around before turning to Tony.

"What are CFBs?" Jarvis asks confused, eyes inquisitive and earnest. He unknowingly just saved Tony, at least for the immediate future.

"Oh! My sweet Vision, how you have been at our firm for over a year, and still be so innocent of the world I will never know. Alas, CFBs –"

"Are not something you need to know about at this moment,” Bruce almost shouts out as he cuts Tony off, “especially since we have yet to let Loki get a drink." Bruce adds in before Tony could corrupt Jarvis any more.

Natasha stands, smoothing her black skirt as she gives Tony a dazzling smile, "Just remember, since the Ironman here won his last case all drinks are on his tab."

"Well, they would be if I had remembered my wallet." Tony chimes in with a grin, "I guess that means all drinks are on Natasha with the second closest win."

"Tony, I wonder how you ever win with your terrible lying skills. Your MasterCard has been with the bartender since we got here." Natasha bats her eyes at the man with a smirk.  
She blows Tony a kiss, grabs Loki's arm, and saunters over to the bartender. Tony grumbles and checks his pockets while Bruce laughs. The whole exchange is nothing new, any time it’s Tony’s turn to buy he pretends to not have his wallet. For no other reason other than to annoy Natasha. He’d always pay at the end of the night, but now it has turned into a game they always play. One that Loki still hasn’t figured out all the rule, if there is even any rules. 

The bartender, a young woman with dark hair and bright lipstick smiles as they approach, her shirt reads: 'I drink coffee … for your protection'. Loki likes her at once.

"Loki, this is Darcy, the genius mixologist who is helping me put a dent in Tony's bank account." Natasha turns to her, "his drinks will also be on the Stark tab."

Darcy gives a finger wave, "What'll it be? Beer, wine, fruity froo-froo, prune juice?" She runs her eyes over Loki while putting her finger to her lips, "Wait, I know what you'll like. Just a moment."

Loki watches Darcy as she turns and grabs a glass. Natasha laughs next to him, "I'd let her go. She decided on all our drinks and so far, the only complained was from Tony. He claimed his was watered down. Darcy handed him a glass of water for his next round and told him that's what complaints got. He's yet to return to the bar, sending Jarvis up instead."

Loki is not terribly thrilled about letting a stranger choose his drink, but he doesn't want to make a big deal over it. He once again looks around the bar, noticing more people have entered the bar. His eyes land on another bartender who has stepped behind the bar. Loki finds his eyes traveling the length of the new bartender. He is tall and BIG, well over 6'4" with _muscles_. Casually dressed in dark jeans, a red tee shirt and boots, does nothing to hide his physique. His arms flex as he reaches for a bottle on the top shelf, Loki can see the play of muscles along his back. His blonde hair is in a messy bun with tendrils framing his face. Loki's eyes zero in on his backside as he reaches under the bar before standing back up. His face lights up with laughter at something one of the customers say. Loki feels his face heat up when the bartender’s eyes seem to lock with his own.

He flushes even more as the man smirks at him. Quickly, he turns back to Natasha and Darcy as a pint glass is placed in front of him, "Coffee Stout with a hint chocolate. Tips can be added to the tab at the end of the night." She gives a flirty wink before moving to help another customer.

"She nailed that one,” Natasha bumps shoulders with Loki, “Come on Ice Prince, we should go back before Tony starts any other antics. Besides Jarvis is drinking, and I want to see how many it takes for him to remove his tie." She walks back toward their friends, high heels clicking, as Loki grabs his drink and turns … right into a solid wall.

He spills his drink on himself … and the other (gorgeous) bartender.

"I am so sorry!" He exclaims with no small amount of mortification. 

"Whoa, you okay there?" A rich, slightly accented voice asks.

They both speak at once. The bartender's voice is deep and even, with just a hint of an Australian accent. Loki feels his face heat up again as the bartender places his hand on Loki's arm, to steady him. Loki tries to swallow as his mouth goes dry in such proximity to this Adonis. This close he catches the scent of fresh earth and rain. He’s probably making a complete fool of himself as he gets lost in eyes that are a clear, bright blue, shining with obvious amusement. 

Loki quickly grabs some napkins from the bar, "Here, let me. I am so sorry. I swear I'm not usually so clumsy."

"Oh no worries. It's getting a bit crowded." The bartender smiles at Loki as he reaches down to pick up the pint glass, "It's better to have a spilt drink than a broken glass."  
Loki meanwhile, reaches to blot at the man's damp shirt, unfortunately that is not the part of the bartender's anatomy he encounters.

Loki's eyes widen as his hand brushes over the man's firm backside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that this set-up is not unique, but I hope as the story progresses it can stand on its own.
> 
> This fic is the product of one small idea (which isn't even in this chapter).
> 
> Comments and helpful critiques are welcome.


	2. Pay No Attention to the Lady Across the Bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's commented!  
> Enjoy!

Loki can only stare at his hand. Well, to be honest he is memorized by the strong yet supple denim covered rear his hand is currently touching. His mind goes blank as his mouth open and closes soundlessly a few times. What a time for his supposed silver-tongue to become tied. Thankfully his brain finally catches up and realizes he’s been practically groping a stranger’s arse.

As Loki fumbles with removing his hand and tries to find his voice, the bartender straightens up with the pint glass. He doesn’t say anything as he places it back on the bar. Turning around the other man seems to give Loki a slow once-over with an easy smile. 

"You know, most people would ask for a name before trying for first base." The bartender's words might have been off-putting, if not for the wink he gives Loki.

Loki silently curses his fair skin as he feels his face heat up, again. Although, the Gods must be taking pity on him as a rebuttal snaps into his mind, "I was always told to not let an opportunity slip through my fingers." He smirks at the bartender.

For a moment the bartender stares at him, then he bursts into laughter. The sound of it does something funny to Loki's insides. It is rich, and Loki decides he has a new goal in life: hear that laugh more.

"Aye, I've heard that too. Which is why I am going to buy you another drink and inquire after a name." The man walks back behind the bar and motions Loki over to his side.  
Loki notes the bartender waves over a busboy to the spill. He also realizes that he doesn't know the man's name, it is starting to become annoying to only think of him as, The Bartender.

"I would be flattered at your offer, if not for the fact that you work here. Not only that, but you were the cause of the demise of my original drink." Loki feels his confidence returning as the bartender barks out another laugh.

"Oh, you are an Imp! Would my drink offer be more worthy of your time if you knew I had planned to buy you one even before you accosted me?" He winks again as he begins to add liquids to a glass, putting on a little show juggling the bottles. He continues in an exaggerated whisper, "Besides, my drinks are far superior to Lady Darcy's."

"OIY! I can hear the lies you are spewing over there! Just remember who taught you everything you know,” Darcy tells him from her section, “Also, he is going to hate that swell, you oaf." Loki laughs as Darcy yells across the bar, "And before you forget tell him your NAME!" 

Loki swears the bartender has a blush high on his cheeks when he turns around to store the liquor bottles; there is no evidence of it when he turns back to Loki. The bartender places a blue concoction in front of Loki.

"Thor."

"Excuse me?"

"My name, it's Thor. Now are you going to relinquish yours, or is Imp more your style?" Thor's smile can almost be considered a smirk, if it isn't for the good humor shining in his eyes.

"I would much prefer Lord Master of the Universe, but you may call me Loki." He leans over and takes a sip of the drink. Typically, he would never ingest something so sweet but for some reason he wants to please Thor. He also figures it has enough liquor he won’t be needing another drink all night.

People are starting to crowd around the bar and Loki sees Thor is looking around, taking stock of the room.

"As much as I would love to cater to you the rest of the night, but it seems I am doing Darcy a disservice," Thor tells him with a sigh as he turns his back on Loki for a moment. Spinning back around, he has a stack of napkins and hands them to Loki, "I am loath to leave you alone on your journey back; so, take these to ease my fears." With that Thor gives Loki another wink and goes to help another customer. Loki feels dejected as he navigates back to his friends.

They are all looking at him, with varying degrees of excitement, as he approaches. Bruce is the first to speak, "Please tell me you got his number."

Loki doesn't say anything, and the answer must be on his face. They all go quiet before Tony cuts in, "Ice next time you want to attempt a ‘meet cute’, ask me. That was a blatant abuse of alcohol. Trust me, I can help you do much better, and your suit will thank me."

"Tony, the only time I will ask for your advice is when I need a quick escape after a one-night stand," Loki rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his drink. 

Everyone laughs, even Jarvis as Loki settles back on the bench. He places the napkins on the table by Natasha. She stops laughing and nudges Loki in the side.

"Uhhh … Loki did you happen to look at these?"

"No. Didn’t think a napkin was worth so much attention."

"I don't know about that Loki,” Natasha picks up the top napkin, “this one definitely requires your full attention.” She hands it over to Loki with a small smile.  


Loki feels his heart rate increase as he takes the napkin.

I'd say call me and we can go out for drinks  
but I think dinner would be safer.  
123-9876  
-Thor

Loki quickly places the note in his pocket. He looks around at all his friends before grabbing his drinking to take a sip, "Tony, it looks like your services will not be needed. It seems I am quite capable all on my own."

The group laughs, expect Tony, who only sips his whiskey with a pout. The conversation shifts onto other topics and Loki places his drink down and relaxes into his seat. He figures he’s had a little more than one-fourth of his drink and can leave it alone for a bit. He listens in as Natasha tells everyone the antics of her newest client.

As the night progress, he tries to subtly glance back at Thor, but discovers he is at the wrong angle to do so unnoticed. Loki finds himself engaging in a heated debate with Natasha and Bruce over reading a book verses watching the movie. Jarvis joins in as he loosens his tie. Bruce groans and slips Natasha a few folded bills. She smirks at Bruce and slowly slides the money into her blouse.

Given some time, Loki finds himself annoyed at Darcy. Any other time he would be in awe of her attentiveness. She brings over drinks to the group any time they seem to be running low. Making it pointless to return to the bar. Loki instead peers over his shoulder, this time catching a glimpse of Thor at work. He continues to watch until he realizes Thor is staring back at him. Loki is pulled away from staring at Thor when Natasha actually giggles; apparently watching all of Loki's antics. He glares at her, which only causes her to giggle more. Just before Loki is able to give her a contemptuous remark, Jarvis stands up.

"Well, it's been fun, but I have work to do in the morning."

"Oh Vision, stop your lies! It's Saturday and the office will be closed." Tony is quick to remind him.

"That is all true, but someone has me planning the office Halloween party and I need to get started." Jarvis gives Tony a pointed look.

Tony stares at him and scratches the back of his neck, "You do realize it is the second of September?" Tony purses his lips before waving a hand at Jarvis, "Never mind Jarvis, you do you."

Bruce snorts at this and whispers to Natasha about office husbands. Loki stands up and begins to gather his things, "Come on Jarvis, I'll give you a lift home."

They bid everyone good-bye with a promise to text once they are at their respective homes. Loki takes one last look at the bar and see Thor is no longer there. A quick scan of the room shows he is also not among the other tables. Trying not to be too disappointed, he does have Thor’s number after all, Loki heads out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and questions are welcomed.


	3. Think on the Past and Look Toward the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone,  
> Hope people are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it.  
> There is a lot of texting and a phone call in this chapter.  
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Enjoy!

As much as Loki enjoys hanging out with his group of friends, he is always comforted to get back home. He does tend to be on the introverted side and taking time for himself is one of the only ways to recharge his social batteries. He takes the stairs tonight needing the exercise to help relieve some of his giddiness. He places a hand in his coat pocket, checking for about the seventh time that the napkin is still there. Reaching his door, he gives himself a little shake realizing he is acting like a love-struck teen. His apartment is on the third floor of a modern complex with an attached garage, pool, gym, and a doorman. Loki knows, in his heart, all the extras are extravagant, and he is indulging himself in things he once thought unattainable. 

Growing up had not been a pleasant experience; what with a mother who abandoned him and a father who barely acknowledged his existence. Loki’s paternal grandmother had been the only person who gave him any form of affection. He would spend summers, in his youth, with her in the mountains until her passing the year he started high school. He learned how to cook in her kitchen, how to grow vegetables in her garden, and how to knit in her living room. She left him her cabin and land upon her passing. Loki visited once during college but found the memories too overwhelming to stay. The cottage was cared from by a local handyman, and Loki received monthly reports to ease his mind. Recently, he had been feeling the urge to take some time and visit again. Of course, that would depend on if he could force himself to stay away from the office.

Opening the door, Loki calls out “So what trouble have you gotten into today?”

Two sets of eyes seemed to glare at him from the prominent bay window. He turned on the light as his two cats trotted over to greet them. 

“Well hello, Frick and Frack. I see you were too busy getting your beauty rest to throw any wild parties.” Loki bends down to pet Frick who is winding around his legs as Frack sits primly in front of him waiting. 

He got the cats from a shelter about four years ago. They had been part of a litter found on the side of a road. The two of them were inseparable from the beginning, and the shelter feared they would not be adopted, even though they were kittens. Loki fell in love with the mix-match pair from the moment he saw them. 

Frick is a small orange striped tabby with a bottomless appetite. He’s openly affectionate and constantly follows Loki around the apartment. Frack on the other hand is a sleek tuxedo with a personality bigger than life. She’s haughty and reserved; openly distrustful of any human other than Loki. One of her favourite things to do when Tony visits is to drag his shoe into the litter box. She is very fond, almost possessive, of Loki and always sleep on his legs at night. 

After giving both cats some attention (aka ear rubs and filling their food bowls) Loki’s phone plays the Law and Order knock, Natasha’s text tone. Loki has a moment of panic; did something happen after he left? Did she catch Thor lip-locked with another man or worse Tony? Wait, Loki is not usually this obsessive over a guy he just met. Typically, he is someone who does not worry this much over interpersonal relationships. What is up with him?

Swiping his screen Natasha’s text pops up: Did you contact him? 

Loki should have known she is just noisy. Tipsy Natasha seems to _love_ gossip, especially anything related to romance. He sends her a quick reply.  


**Loki: No. I just got home**

He gets a reply before he can put his phone down.

**Natasha: SO? You had three floors to send flirty texts.**

Loki pauses at that, even Tipsy Natasha wouldn’t use “flirty.” His phone goes off again, twice. 

**Natasha: Ignore that. Tony thinks he is cute.**

**Natasha: Anyway he has a point what is the hold-up?**

Loki stares at his phone. Did Natasha (and maybe Tony) have a point?

**Loki: He just gave me his number an hour ago. Desperate I am not.**

**Natasha: LIES ICEy LIESss.**

Okay, that time Loki knows its Tony, he is the only one to call him Ice. 

**Natasha: What our dear Drunk Tony means is we all saw the smolder between you two. So for once don’t over think it and just contact Thor.**

His phone plays the roadrunner meep meep - Oh boy Tony.

**Tony: Ima gonna give ya 5 more min before I find him mysef and sign your god praises.**

The message gives Loki a jolt, based on the text Tony is drunk enough to do it too. Not that he wouldn’t do it sober; but drunk Tony might add on some of his own flirting.

**Natasha: Before you freak out Bruce just distracted Tony with something shiny. I know why you might want to wait on this, but it has been three years.**

She’s right, and it’s time for Loki to move on. He figures what the hell, it’s not like they can’t find another bar if this doesn’t work …

**Loki: Ok ok you win. I’ll text him.**

**Natasha: Good. He’s leaving now. Tony is still engrossed with Bruce’s new tablet. Let me know what happens.**

How she knows that Thor is leaving, he doesn’t know, but then again Natasha always seems to know everything going on around her. Loki takes a deep breath, it is just a text. Just a few words on a screen. Has he always been this neurotic? Frick hops into his lap as Loki types out a message.

**Loki: I know you said a call might lead to dinner. Does that mean a text could end with lunch?**

He regrets it as soon as he sends it. Doesn’t even say who the message is from, Thor could have handed out a dozen napkins to different guys. Before he spirals too much his phone chirps.

**Thor: Well, that depends …**

Depends?! On what?! Loki is just about to send a message when his phone starts to ring. “Oh, what have I gotten myself into?” He asks Frick, as the cat stretches across the couch. 

“Hello …?”

“Hey! I’m driving home and would rather just call than attempt to use this hands-free feature.”

“Is that so? Here I thought you just wanted to hear my voice again.” Loki found it slightly easier to talk to Thor when the man was not right in front of him.

“Haha, you caught me. “Thor’s laugh though still delightful is not as good as in person, “I was hoping to hear from you. I think our conversation got cut off too soon.”

“That’s only because you had to be a good person and actually do your job. It’s a shame really, I was all set to distract you for the rest of the night.” Loki says this in a low voice, adding a purr to his words.

“Is that so? I vaguely remember your way of distraction results in a mess.” Thor’s voice deepens on the word mess.

“You seem to like that type of man that could enjoy the distractions that result in a mess.”

Thor’s chuckle is rich, sending shivers down Loki’s spine, “Imp. I can tell you can be trouble. And since I happen to like a bit of trouble in my life, why don’t you join me for lunch tomorrow?”

“Hmmmmm …. Let me check my calendar. Tomorrow you say? Ahh. It looks like you are in luck I seem to have an opening.”

“Great! How do you feel about Mexican?”

“Mexican happens to be one of my favourite food groups. What time do you want to meet up?”

“Does 1 work for you? I need to help stock the bar in the morning and should be free by then.”

“I can meet you at the Sierra Madre at that time.”

“What, not Taco Bell? Well, I guess the Sierra Madre will have to do.”

“Here I thought you said I would be trouble, you never mentioned you would be a tease.”

“Don’t worry I am not much of a tease, usually.”

“Huh, I will be the judge of that come tomorrow.”

“Hahaha, you do that, Imp.”

“Why do I get the feeling I will be stuck with that name?”

“No idea what you are talking about.” There is the sound of a door slamming, and Thor sighs, “I hate to be the one to end another conversation, but I just got home and need to do some things before tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s okay. This just means we can save up all the deep dark secrets for lunch.”

“Make a list for me tonight. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Good night Imp.”

“Good night Thor.  
”  
They hang up, and Loki does a little mental dance about having a date tomorrow. As he gets ready for bed he sends Natasha a quick text. 

**Loki: I have a date for lunch tomorrow.**

**Natasha: That’s awesome Loki! See that wasn’t so difficult.**

**Loki: No, it was easier than getting Jarvis away from the sticky notes.**

**Natasha: Oh very funny Mr. Highlighter.**

**Loki: Yeah yeah, anyway thanks for being a pain in the ass.**

**Natasha: for you, any time. Someone needs to make sure you don’t turn into a crazy cat lady.**

**Loki: uh huh, I’m going to bed now. Night**

**Natasha: Good idea get your beauty rest. Have fun with Mr. Tall and Built tomorrow.**

**Natasha: I’ll be sure to run a background check on Monday. NO sex until then.**

Loki laughs at that last text. He gets the feeling she already did the background check and knows more about Thor than Thor might know about himself. He is grateful to her for giving him the illusion of the necessity for waiting. Although, he doesn’t _plan_ to jump into a physical relationship right away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed.


	4. If This is a Dream, Don't Wake Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****WARNING!!!!****  
> This is the beginning of the naughty bits. It is pretty tame this chapter, which Loki is still annoyed at me for.
> 
> Enjoy!

The room is softly lit by candles. There’s quiet music playing in the background. Loki finds himself stretched out on a huge bed. The sheets under his bare skin are soft and velvety. He attempts to sit up only to realize his hands are tied together above his head. He notices they are bound with what appears to be a rope, although he doesn’t feel any friction or chafing against his wrists. He tugs at his hands useless. 

A deep chuckle comes from the foot of the bed. Loki tries to see who is there but finds the angle is all wrong as the bed dips from the unknown man’s weight.  
“Look at you my little Imp. All tied up to keep you out of trouble,” the voice gives another wicked chuckle as Loki realizes he knows the owner of that wonderful voice, “too bad I plan to do very naughty things to you.”

Warm hands grab Loki’s ankles and slowing pushes them apart as the hands move up his legs. Loki tries to hold back a moan as the hands reach his inner thighs.   
“Oh no, don’t hold back. I want to hear all the pretty sounds you can make.”

The hands push his thighs apart, and Loki can now see Thor leaning over him as he kneels between his parted legs. He looks like pure sin as he smirks down at Loki. Thor is still fully dressed in a black shirt and jeans. This more than anything else makes Loki realize he is entirely at Thor’s mercy, and he loves it.

Thor’s hands move up to his waist, light teasing touches along his sides has Loki shivering. 

“Oh, what shall I do with you?” Thor murmurs as he leans closer, his breath hot on Loki’s neck, “Should I start here?” 

He kisses Loki’s neck and lets his teeth scrape against Loki’s skin. His beard rubs along Loki’s jaw making his nerve endings sing with the slight burn. Loki sucks in air as he feels Thor bite down harder, then runs his tongue over the bite. He moves his lips teasingly along Loki’s neck and jaw, leaving light bites in his wake. His beard brushes against the bites making them tingle in painful pleasure. 

Loki tosses his head back, unable to stop the mewing sigh that escapes his lips. Thor stops his ministrations to lock his lust-darken eyes on Loki’s lips. He nips at Loki’s ear as he lowers his voices and practically growls, “Carry on my wayward son –“

Loki’s eyes shoot open, and he groans aloud at the sudden end to his dream. He grabs his phone off the side table to mute the alarm. He’s not sure if he is more annoyed for forgetting to turn off his alarm, or for painful erection his dream has gifted him.

He thumps his head back, perturbed that he was awoken just as it was getting good. Laying there, Loki realizes this is the first pleasurable dream he’s had since … before. A small smile crosses his lips as he languishes in the feeling of waking up with a hard-on. Throwing off the covers, Loki decides that a shower is in order, a long shower.

********************

Sierra Madre is about 10 minutes from Loki’s apartment. It’s a small family-run Mexican restaurant with the best chili rellenos. The décor’s subdued, mainly photos of various nature scenes. The air is cool and perfumed with cumin, garlic, and onion. Loki’s stomach growls as he steps through the door.

After his shower, Loki found himself too nervous to do more than have a cup of coffee. He was able to distract himself with some paperwork he needed to catch up on, but for the most part, he watched the clock. 

This resulted in Loki being ridiculously early. He lets out a huff out a breath and figures he might as well get them a table. Before he can approach the hostess, he hears his name. Scanning the mostly empty restaurant, he spots Thor in a booth along the wall. Walking over he can’t help but smile, Thor’s casually dressed in a pair of black slacks and a blue button up that make his eyes shine brightly. Loki is grateful he decided on his new jeans and a lightweight lavender sweater. 

Thor surprises Loki with a gentle kiss on the cheek in greeting. Loki feels a blush stain his cheeks and quickly sits down to hide his embarrassment. 

“I see I wasn’t the only one too hungry to wait,” Loki says as he watches Thor slide back into the booth.

“Haha, no you weren’t. Although, I might have been a bit nervous.” Thor gives an easy smile, his demeanor a contradiction to his words. Thor might be a large man, but he holds himself with ease and confidence that enables him to appear comfortable in any environment.

Loki feels himself relaxing in the other man’s company, “don’t worry Thor, I promise to wait till dessert to spill anything on you.” Loki lips twitched as he watches Thor laugh at his statement.

“I'm not worried in the least about that Imp. My real reason for being so early was to warn the wait staff about you.”

Loki can’t help letting out a soft snort as he rolls his eyes. “I spill one drink, and you are going to lord it over me forever?”

“Only until you give me something else to torture you with.” There’s a glint in Thor’s eyes as he says this. Loki stops breathing for a moment as they lock eyes. He really hopes his desire is not blatantly written all over his face.

Loki is about to respond when their waitress appears. “Hola!!! Welcome to Sierra Madre! Can I start you off with our famous margaritas with our chips and salsa?”  
Loki stops himself from glaring at the waitress. He knows it isn’t her fault she has abysmal timing. 

“Can we get a pitcher of margaritas and an order of guacamole,” Thor orders for them, and the waitress disappears again.

Loki’s furtively giddy over Thor’s quiet display of control. He quickly picks up his menu to try and get his mind off such lecherous thoughts. It’s only their first date, and Loki could very well be seeing rainbows when there might just be clouds.

“I will vouch for her; their margaritas are excellent here. I also recommend their chili rellenos.” Thor tells Loki.

“That happens to be one of my favourites. This was my go-to place for a quick meal when I first moved to the area.” 

Their waitress returns with their drinks and chips. Thor once again orders for the two of them, thanking the waitress. Loki inner voice purrs about how Thor’s dominance appears to be woven with kindness. 

Thor has a hesitant look on his faces as he turns back to Loki, “Sorry that I keep ordering for you. It’s a bad habit.”

"Oh, don’t worry about it. As habits go, it is one I don’t mind _at all_.” Loki looks at Thor through his lashes, hoping his meaning is clear to Thor. Thor stares at Loki for a moment longer before he breaks into a smirk, his eyes seem to darken.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Thor’s voice seems deeper, and it’s like a physical thing, rubbing along Loki’s nerves. 

Loki takes a long drink as he realizes he is beyond thirsty. He clears his throat and asks, “So, tell me about yourself?”

“Well, there’s not much to tell honestly,” Thor tells him with after swallowing a bit. “I actually enjoy my work. Which is great after all those years of business school,” Thor laughs, “the bar is doing surprisingly well for its first year. Which allows me to eat more than just ramen while also giving me the chance to practice my charms.” He pauses and winks, “When not working I’m a bit of a homebody unless I’m out hiking or at the gym. Although, I do have a few other hobbies.”

Loki can just imagine what hobbies Thor might engage in. He wants to ask more, but of course, their waitress returns with their food. Thanking her as they dig into their meals. The conversation continues with the “getting to know you” vine. Loki learns that Thor is also an only child raised by his mother. They don’t talk about their fathers, neither asking about that topic. The conversation is easy, and Loki finds himself sharing more than he would typically on a first date. 

All too soon they realize the restaurant is filling up with the early dinner crowd. Checking his watch, Loki is shocked to see they’ve been talking for three hours. Thor flags down their waitress and asks for the check.

“You don’t have to do that. I can get the meal,” Loki tries to protest.

“No, this is my treat.” Thor’s tone leaves no room for argument, “maybe I’ll let you buy the next time,” a teasing smirk is on Thor’s lips as they stand to make their way outside. Loki would love nothing more than to kiss it off. 

“Next time, huh? I didn’t realize I agreed to a next time.” Loki drawls while walking toward their cars, Thor only gives Loki a grin. 

They stop by Loki’s car. “Of course, you agreed. You let me buy dinner, walk you to your car, and give you the best goodbye kiss you’ve ever experienced.”

Loki raises one eyebrow about to make a snide comment when Thor leans over and brushes his lips against Loki’s. The kiss starts out almost chaste, the barest touch between them. Then Loki feels Thor thread his fingers into his hair, and suddenly their lips are sealed together. Loki sighs, placing his arms around Thor’s neck, as he feels the other man’s hand settle just above the curve of his arse. Thor takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Loki’s mouth, encouraging Loki’s own tongue to dance. Loki feels light-headed as Thor’s hand tightens in his hair, angling Loki’s head back to deepen the kiss. Just when Loki is about ready to climb up Thor’s body, Thor slowly backs up while his hands are still around Loki. 

His eyes are dark as he gazes at Loki, “I’ve wanted to do that since I first saw you.”

“I will have a witty reply to that once my brain re-engages.”

“Oh we can’t have you doing that Imp,” Thor kisses Loki again; this time his hand lowers to caress Loki’s arse. Loki groans aloud as they part for air. 

“Mmmm … you make such beautiful, teasing sounds Imp. They make me want to do inappropriate things to you.”

“Just wait till you hear the ones I don’t make in public.” 

This time it’s Thor’s turn to groan. He removes his hands from Loke’s body, squeezing his arse in parting. 

“Imp! You are going to get into your car and drive home. I am going to get into mine and watch you leave. Then tonight as you lay down, thinking of me, you will let me know what day I am taking you out again.” 

Thor kisses Loki’s cheek in parting as he walks to his truck. Loki climbs into his own car to head home. His drive back to his apartment is a blur, with Loki unable to wipe the grin from his face. He waits until he is sitting at home before Loki allows himself to touch his lips and think about just what he will send to Thor tonight. Imp indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the boys had their first date and I am sure Loki is going to be pure sin when he text Thor.
> 
> Thank you for all the Kudos and reviews. They make me want to post faster. As always all questions, comments and concerns are welcomed.


	5. Patience is not MY Virtue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is not a man who likes to wait. He finds himself talking to some friends as he tries to not obsess over Loki and their budding relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. I do not have anyone look this over before I post it, and sometimes I forget to proof read before I submit. Hopefully, they do not distract from reading.
> 
> Enjoy!

Growing up Thor learned very early on he did not have even a drop of tolerance for waiting. Thanks to his mother’s sense of humor he also learned not to be obviously with his impatience. She would break out into Tom’s Petty’s _Waiting is the Hardest Part_ any time Thor would complain about how unfair it was he had to be patient. In a way, he was grateful to her for it, he was better able to hide his agitation.

Unfortunately, now is not one of those times where he is succeeding at masking his restlessness. He knows himself well enough to not go directly home. He would just find some small home improvement task to keep his mind off Loki. That little task would morph into a major project, aka how he remodeled the master bathroom. This might not be a bad thing, his office could use more shelf space, but he doesn’t want to be so distracted he misses Loki’s call.

This is how he winds up back at the bar talking to Steve and Darcy. The bar is packed, and Thor feels slightly sorry for leaving Darcy to handle the crowd, but she had taken one look at him and banned him from behind the bar.

“Boss-man, you are no good to me like this. Put your tukhus on that stool. Let me get you a beer, then you can wax on poetically about your date.”

“Darcy, have I ever told you that I am so glad I hired you?” Thor smiles at Darcy as she put a pint in front of him.

“Actions speak louder than words. A raise could speak to me for a long time,” Darcy beams at him, “but don’t worry about it. I have Pain and Panic here to help bring in the big bucks,” Darcy cups her breasts and gives Thor a wink as he blushes.

Thor, to this day, doesn’t understand how Darcy came up with the names for her bosom. Something about a Disney movie, although he will never be comfortable with talk of her lady parts. She is his main bartender, and he honestly doesn’t know how he would have run the bar without her. For all her confidence and swagger, Thor has known her since she was a skinned-knee shadow who was afraid to talk in front of more than two people at a time.

He is brought out of his musings by a punch on the arm as Steve slides onto the stool next to him. Steve has been Thor’s friend since they met in college. They’d both been uninterested in the party scene and had formed a friendship over cards and board games. Steve is a military man through and through. He runs a local gym with his husband, and they employ mostly vets who can’t find a job elsewhere. He’s dressed in his usual tan slacks and a blue polo. His blonde hair slightly messy, the only sign he just came from the gym. 

“How is it that I find out about this all-important date from Darcy?” 

“Hello to you too Steve. Thank you for stopping by, how’s Bucky?” Thor grins at Steve as the man rolls his eyes.

“Captain, right on time! I already gave him a beer, and we are all set for the interrogation.” Darcy places Steve’s pint down and turns to glare at Thor, “And for someone who was so giddy to leave for their date you sure are tight-lipped about all the juicy details.”

“Now, now a gentleman does not kiss and tell.”

Darcy gives him a look as Steve snorts into his beer.

“Who said you are a gentleman?” Steve inquires.

“You did kiss him!!” Darcy practically yells at the same time.

Thor beams at the pair, “Steve, I was planning on calling you once I got here, but Darcy accosted me, and I forgot. But now that the both of you are here, I might be persuaded to give a brief recap.”

“Hold that thought,” Darcy tells him as she runs off toward the other bartender. She talks to him for a few moments before returning, “Okay! Nathan has agreed to cover the bar for the next ten minutes. Spill!”

Thor chuckles at Darcy’s antics. He tells them about how he was early to try and calm himself down, only to see Loki walk into the restaurant about five minutes after he got there. Thor talks about Loki’s quick wit and how they stayed almost until dinner. Darcy looks like she wants to jump up and down as he tells them they made tentative plans for a second date.

Thor doesn’t tell them about how the looks Loki gave him made him want to ravage Loki on the table. Nor does he say them that he had let his dominant side out in response to Loki’s teasing. Thor typically has more control over his desires than what was displayed today. He didn’t hesitate in taking over during the date or giving Loki orders before they parted ways. He had tried to restrain himself during the kiss, but the noises Loki made spoke to that inner need Thor works so hard to tame. 

“What about the kiss?! You said there was a kiss and that man looked like he knows how to kiss.” Darcy wiggles her eyebrows at Thor. 

Thor swears that he needs to turn down the heat in the bar, it’s the only explanation for why his face and neck suddenly felt hot. 

“Yes, there was a kiss, and before you ask, it was quite pleasant.” 

“Damn. That was one hell of a kiss if that is all you’re going to say.” Darcy tells him with a pout when he doesn’t elaborate, “On that note, I’ll leave you to gossip without me; Nathan looks like he’s about to cry. I knew I shouldn’t have left him with the Cougars.”

Thor and Steve watch Darcy march over and addresses the costumers who seem to be giving Nathan trouble.

“She right, it must have been something special for you not to talk about it.” Steve quietly tells Thor. He is playing with his pint glass and gives Thor a sideways look before continuing, “Does that mean you’re ready to try again?” 

Thor sighs, “Honestly, I don’t know. I mean, it was just one date. We just met, but I swear there is something there. It’s only been a couple of hours since I last saw him and already, I’m missing him.” Thor laughs at himself, “Gods, I sound like some love-struck teen.”

“Hate to break it to you, but you’ve always sounded like a love-struck teen all night. I was just too nice to mention it until now.”

“Great, now you tell me.” Thor drops his head down to the bar and mumbles, “I think I’m in serious trouble with this one.”

Thor is not a man to lie to himself. He is well aware of his tastes and desires, especially regarding a partner. He doesn’t typically share this part of himself with others. He’s learned the hard way not everyone is tolerant of so-called _sexual deviance_. Thankfully, Steve isn’t one of those people. For as vanilla, virtually prudish, as Steve appeared to be, he is very accepting and surprisingly knowledgeable about alternative lifestyles. Granted this is probably, in part, the result of Bucky’s kinky influence.

“Well buddy, it sounds like this Loki checks all your boxes. Heck, it sounds like he was made for you. Slim, sarcastic, pale, intelligent, dark hair, and possibly submissive.” Steve looks down at Thor, “Yup! You are screwed.” He pats Thor on the shoulder. 

Thor groans and nods before sitting back up, “Yeah, I gave him parting orders without even realizing it.”

“Ahh! That’s what has you all tense; waiting to hear from him. You always did have a problem with taking things slow.” 

“Steve, shut up.” 

They stare at each other before breaking down in laughter. They stop laughing as Thor’s phones dings; two sets of blue eyes look down at the device. Thor picks it up to read the text. A smile slowly spreads across his face. 

“I don’t want to know, do I.” Steve makes a face, “I think on that note I am going to say goodnight and leave you to your budding romance.”

“Hold on, I’ll walk you out. I’m going to head home myself.”

Thor feels a lot less anxious now that he has heard from Loki. He waves to Darcy and Nathan as he and Steve walk out. Thor bids Steve good night as he gets into his truck. He figures if he waits till he gets home to respond, it wouldn’t seem as desperate. 

His thoughts wander back to Loki, where they’ve pretty much have stayed since yesterday. He wonders if Loki’s blush goes beyond his collar and if his skin is as soft as it appears. He wants to know what that pale neck would look like covered with his bite. Thor pictures Loki laid out across his sheets, hair a mess, lips are swollen, and vivid bite marks on his neck and torso. 

He envisions how he would tease Loki into making more of those enticing sounds. Thor would take his time, and find all those areas that drive Loki crazy. Loki would plead for Thor to move on, but Thor would only go slower. 

He’d start with Loki’s neck, going from small nips and kisses. Thor would bite into that neck, sucking the skin to leave his mark. Loki would pant for Thor, demand to be taken. Thor would just smirk at him as he sweeps his attention to Loki’s pert little nipples. He’d take one into his mouth, running his teeth over the nub as he pinches and pulls the other one. They would tighten, and Loki would be a gasping moaning mess. Trying to thrust his hips up, seeking friction that Thor is not ready to allow him. 

Thor stops his fantasy as he pulls into his driveway, he figures it has been long enough for him to respond to Loki’s text.

**Loki: If I tell you what day we should go out again does that mean you get to pick what we do?**

Thor can just picture the mischievous glint in Loki’s eyes as he typed out that text. 

**Thor: Why? Do you have something planned?**

Thor locks his truck and walks up to his front porch steps when his phone dings.

**Loki: Maybe. that is if you are free Monday night.**

Thor’s intrigued. He can only imagine what Loki has in mind. Opening his door Thor doesn’t bother with the lights as he makes his way back to his bedroom.

**Thor: In that case you are in luck. What time?**

Thor strips everything off and tosses it in the hamper. Loki replies as he is crawling into bed. 

**Loki: Would you be free around 6? I thought I might be able to sweet talk you into dinner first.**

**Thor: Dinner and some mysterious outing? That might require quite a bit of sweet talking.**

**Loki: I think I can handle that. They call me silver-tongue for nothing.**

Thor has a sudden vision of Loki on his knees, his eyes dark and locked on Thor’s as he takes Thor’s cock in his mouth. Loki’s teasing Thor, only taking the head in his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the head before flicking it against the slit. Thor groans aloud at the thought.

**Thor: I feel Imp is more befitting. I will comply with your demands.**

**Loki: Excellent. I knew you would see it my way.**

**Thor: I agree to this with the stipulation that I pick you up.**

**Loki: I guess I can agree to that. It is better for the environment to only take one vehicle, after all.**

**Thor: Haha you know what else is good for your environment?**

**Loki: What’s that?**

**Thor: You tell me what you're wearing right now.**

**Loki: You did not just say that. Haha**

**Loki: How is that good for my environment?**

**Thor: I don’t know. I was just hoping you’d give me something good to think about.**

Thor is slightly worried he might have gone too far when Loki doesn’t reply right away. Then his phone goes off twice, and he finds himself memorized by Loki’s response.  


**Loki: I’ll do you one better.**

Then there is a picture of Loki, an obviously naked picture of Loki. Later, after the blood returns to his head, Thor will wonder how Loki took such a picture himself. For he has his back to a mirror, his face slightly turned to stare at the camera, a smirk playing on his lips. Loki is bare as far as Thor can tell, but the picture stops just as it reaches his ass. He is as pale as Thor imagined, he looks to be the definition of sensuality with that coy look and enticing body. 

**Thor: You just made my night Imp.**

**Loki: You’re not going to return the favor?**

Thor jumps out of bed and enters the bathroom. He realizes that he is hard and does not want to be crude with a dick pic. Instead, he bends down a little to where his length is hidden by the counter and takes one with a wink.

**Loki: I do believe you are trying to seduce me Mr. Odinson.**

**Thor: I would never do such a thing. Unless it is working.**

**Loki: Hmmm … I will have to think on that and get back to you ;)**

**Thor: You do that and let me know in the morning what your verdict is.**

**Loki: Oh I will. Good night Thor. I hope you dream of me.**

**Thor: I don’t think I’ll be able to dream of anything else but you.**

**Thor: Imp**

Thor smiles as he crawls back into bed. He thinks back to his earlier fantasy as he palms his erection. He’s pretty sure he will be dreaming of nothing else but Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading this. 
> 
> As always let me know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns.


	6. What’s in a Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up rewriting this chapter a few times, and still not sure it has the right flow. Oh well, I blame this on writing about a chaos god.
> 
> This chapter hints more at Loki's past and the big dark cloud he has. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Loki has had a few nicknames which have followed him over the years. One or two he hates to hear, either given to him by his father or his ex. Three of his nicknames he responses to as readily as his given name. Now it seems a fourth will be added to his list.

********************

**Tony dubbed him Ice Prince.**

He met Tony in college. They were lab partners for Intro to Biology. Tony was the undisputed genius and class clown. They hated each other at first. Loki found Tony to be obnoxious, and it drove him crazy how Tony managed an almost perfect 4.0 without ever putting forth any effort. Tony graced Loki with the Ice Prince nickname after Loki had ignored him one too many times. He only saw Loki as a stuck-up snob, one who was too good to socialize with others; until Loki pranked the fetal pig dissection.

Loki had hated the frog dissection and dreaded the up-coming fetal pig lab. He was an animal lover at heart and only passed the labs because Tony become too engrossed in the activity to let Loki cut in, so to speak. He may have made it through the other labs, but the thought of those unmoving tiny piglets made his stomach churn. Then he had an idea. His Bio lab time was 1:30 pm, right after the professor’s lunch hour. He knew the pigs would be left out on the lab tables before the professor left to allow them time to get to room temperature, it would give him an hour to set up.

Professor Lorne would start each lab with a brief review of the expectations and day's lab activity. On the day of the piglet dissection, as Professor Lorne droned on, other voices could be heard whispering. At first, they couldn’t be understood they were so low. Professor Lorne was not one to tolerate disruptions and gave the room a glare. Then a scream rang out through the room. The voices became louder, and people were finally able to understand what they were saying …

“Save me!”

“Help!”

“Ahhhh the pain, THE PAIN is unbearable!”

“Stop, stop, stop, STOP!”

“No no no no NOOo nooooooo NO no nooo.”

On and on the voices went. Everyone looked around, trying to figure out who was causing such noise. Then the piglets started to move.

A group of girls in the back shrieked loud enough to be heard over the voices and ran from the room. Theirs was the first piglet to move, then as they were running out, all the other pigs began to twitch and move around in the dissection pan. Everyone evacuated the room in a hurry. 

Loki stood on the sidelines watching as everyone freaked out. He must not have been as effective at hiding his smirk as he watched Tony approach him. 

“So, the Ice Prince is not such a frigid bitch.” Tony gave Loki a once over, for once without a hint of disdain on his face, “That was amazing man! I can figure out how you got the voices, but how in the hell did you animate them?”

That was the moment they moved from acquaintance to friends. It was a good thing too; they were each other’s alibies for this prank, and the many others to follow.

******************

**Natasha declared him Silver-Tongue.**

Loki had met Natasha at Law school, they were partnered up for Legal Methods. After their initial haughty glare off, they decided it would be more beneficial to be cordial. They worked well together researching and presenting their various assignments. Loki found Natasha intense and driven, with a wicked sense of humor. Natasha thought Loki was mischievous, passionate, and secretly a softie (she somehow learned about the pig lab and his domestic skills).

At the end of their first semester, one could almost call them friends. They had the unfortunate luck of having to present their closed-door final on the last day of the semester. Neither was worried about the actual final, they were more miffed they had to stay so long after most students were gone. 

The final went smoothly, Loki charming the professor with his ability to use obscure laws to twist the case in his favor. Natasha added the details and related the case to relevant current cases to tie all the piece together. Their professor was so impressed he actually gave them a rare 100 percent. Natasha, in a rare movement of impulsivity, invited Loki out for drinks to celebrate, cementing their friendship.

They ended up at a dive near campus. It was full of locals, smoke, and country music, but the drinks were cheap and the wings spicy. They found a table near the back wall, far enough away from the bar to actually hear one another speak. They found the conversation easy and more than once laughed so hard their sides hurt.

Loki quickly learned Natasha had already known about his preferences for men. She snorted when he made sure she knew this wasn’t a date. Natasha informed him she figured it would be more likely they would try to take home the same man. Loki declared that it was impossible since he had standards. Which led Natasha to punch him on the arm and telling him she hoped his silver tongue could get him out of trouble as quickly as it got him into it. Loki’s smug (slightly slurred) reply of “Too bad your lady parts will never find out” resulted in Natasha deciding on the nickname. 

It was shortly after that their memories became foggy. Somehow, both ended up on Natasha’s bathroom floor the next morning in a tangle of limbs.

********************

**Bruce called him CN.**   
(Because he always said Loki is the epitome of Chaotic Neutral.) 

After law school, Loki, Tony, and Natasha decided to open their own practice. They figured with all their diverse specialties they could pull in a larger clientele. Tony talked Loki and Natasha into hiring on Jarvis as their paralegal, administrative assistant, coffee maker … aka the keeper of the office. Later they hired on Bruce for IT (which really meant he and Tony got distracted by video games).

It was rough that first year, they all felt the strain of being newly employed and running their own practice. Luckily, they were making a profit, so it wasn’t all bad. Everyone at the office had various ways of handling their stress. 

Tony would drink as he put together various model kits.

Natasha did yoga while listening to Russian death metal.

Jarvis attempted to bake with varying degrees of success. 

Bruce played whale sounds and did crossword puzzles.

And Loki? Well, Loki played pranks, mainly on Bruce. Tony was in a long-standing prank battle with Loki, and they each took their time perfecting their next stunt before pulling it on the other. Natasha was just evil in her responses, he learned not to make her a target after she put tanning lotion in his face cream. Jarvis had been proactive and told Loki that if he were ever pranked Loki would never get a drop of coffee in the office again.

This left Bruce. Bruce was so even-tempered that Loki found himself pranking him on an almost daily basis in an attempt to gain a reaction. Usually, Bruce would just sigh, yell “Damn it Loki!”, Then return to whatever it was he had been doing. This resulted in Loki becoming obsessed with angering the man.

He went through all his usual ideas: switching sugar and salt, plastic wrapping his office, changing his music to K-Pop (that one backfired, Bruce loved it).

So, Loki decided to go big and mess with Bruce’s email. He changed his signature to Lovely Sad Panda and set-up various accounts with different porn site for Bruce to receive emails. Then he changed every name in Bruce’s address book. Loki did this only to Bruce’s work email, on a Friday afternoon, and programmed the email so Bruce would not receive notifications on his phone. 

Come Monday, Loki feared he might have gone just a tad too far when he heard Bruce’s roar. He was in the lounge when Bruce came in with murder in his eyes.   
“Hey Bruce, have a good weekend?” Loki figured he’d try to play innocent. He gave Bruce a bright smile as he took a sip of his coffee.

Bruce just blinked at him. Completely caught off guard. He opened his mouth and sucked in some air while pointing at Loki. Loki kept his expression mild and raised an eyebrow.

“Something on your mind? Finally came to ask for advice on how to ask out Natasha?”

Bruce’s face when through a few colour changes, pretty sure most of them were green before he burst out laughing.

“Loki, I swear we are lucky you use your powers for good and not evil. Well more like neutral … chaotic neutral. I think it is time we find you a hobby.”

********************

**Thor calls him Imp.**

This is quickly becoming Loki’s favourite of all his nicknames. He loves how there is always a hint of a laugh in Thor’s voice when he says it. He swears it makes his voice sound deeper and rougher. He finds himself thinking of ways to encourage Thor in calling him this; not that he will ever tell Thor.

This is how Loki finds himself staring at the phone in the office lounge come Monday morning. He’s waiting for the coffee to finish brewing and picking at a muffin Jarvis brought in. Loki can’t believe he’s only met Thor on Friday. They’ve texted almost non-stop Sunday. Loki even called Thor Sunday night, demanding a bedtime story. Oh, the rich chuckle he receives for that request had been pure sin. 

Loki starts to wonder if Thor knows precisely what he’s doing, and his real intention is to drive Loki crazy. He never thought he could get hard listening to someone read _Goodnight Moon_. Everything about Thor makes Loki want to do wicked things. Typically, Loki would wait for a few dates before even kissing a guy. It isn’t that he’s a prig, it’s more he wants to be entirely sure about the man he might bed. Loki knows that part, a large part, of this is because of his ex. Loki regrets how he jumped into bed with him before they even went out. Since then he has made sure to not make the same mistake again. 

The thing is though, he doesn’t feel this way with Thor. In fact, he feels more at ease with Thor than he has ever felt with anyone else. Loki’s more than ready to make this a physical relationship. It doesn’t help Loki has a file of NSFW pictures of Thor, without a fucking dick pic among them. Neither of them has sent a full nude. Which means, Loki is practically dying to know if Thor’s cock is as full and fit as the rest of him. He envisions Thor’s cock to be long and thick, Loki will need both hands to wrap around it entirely. He wants to feel it, taste it, watch as it almost split him in two … and he needs to stop thinking about it before everyone else gets to work. 

“Ice Prince! You’ve got some splaining to do!” Tony is way too perky for this early in the morning. How a man who hates to get up can be so joyful is beyond Loki. The only saving grace is he pours two cups of coffee. Loki groans as Tony takes the seat across from him and blows a kiss.

“I hear someone had a good time on his date Saturday. And a little spider tells me you have another one tonight. My my, busy boy.” Tony hands over the second cup of coffee with his megawatt smile.

“You and Bruce had a playdate this weekend, huh? How much beer did you have to ply him with to get him to talk this time?”

Tony’s smile doesn’t diminish, but his eyes narrow slightly, “I’m wounded that you assume I have to bribe Bruce to tell me all the juicy gossip. BW and I go way back, she tells me everything.”

A file smacks Tony on the back on the head as Natasha enters the room, silent on her four-inch heels. She is smartly dressed in a black skirt and cream top, the red shoes giving her a pop of colour. 

“Anthony, go pretend you work here and meet with your client who is waiting.” Natasha shoos Tony with the file and takes his seat as he leaves. Sticking his tongue out at her back Tony moves away before stopping at Natasha’s words, “I’d put that back in your mouth if you want to keep it.” She calls out to him, and Tony quickly shuts his mouth. He holds up a finger as he walks away. 

Loki rolls his eyes as he continues to sip his coffee. He raises an eyebrow at Natasha and glances toward the seat across from him.

“If he weren’t such a genius with copyright law, I’d seriously consider switching him to decaf,” Natasha shakes her head as she sits down. “Something on your mind?” She has the audacity to smirk at him, “Other than the obvious.”

Loki sighs and rubs at his forehead, “Nat, I think I’m going to start meeting with Wanda again.”

“Oh?” She doesn’t say anything else, she gives him the time to put his thoughts into words. 

“I know it’s hasn’t even been a week, but it already feels different with Thor. I haven’t had an episode in quite some time, but this is all so new, and I don’t want to fuck it up before it gets a chance.”

“Loki, are you planning to tell Thor? Not that you must, but it might be good to tell him now.” She places her hand over Loki’, “From what I’ve gathered and how you’ve been these past few days I think the two of you will be good together.”

“Thanks, Nat. I’m probably just trying to self-sabotage.” 

Loki gets up and throws away the uneaten muffin, he pours himself more coffee. Moving to leave he’s stopped by Natasha quiet voice, “Loki, you’d tell me if this was more than just new relationship nerves?”

Loki composes himself in the few moments it takes for him to turn back around, “You’d be the first to know. Don’t worry I will tell Thor, might as well let him know now before he gets too invested.”

Loki misses the flash of concern and determination in Natasha’s eyes as he walks to his office.

********************

The day has been torturously long for Thor. He’s tried to keep himself busy with work but finds his mind wandering back to Loki. It’s a slow day at the bar, so Thor begins to work on the next week’s menu and staff schedule. Finally, it’s time for him to head home and get ready before picking up Loki.

Thor muses about what they could be doing tonight as he drives over to Loki’s apartment. He was told to dress casually in comfortable shoes. As he pulls up to the curb in front of Loki’s building, he takes the time to check out Loki as the other man gets in the truck. He’s dressed in a black t-shirt with a green vest and tight black jeans. Thor feels under-dress next to him in his grey V-neck and worn jeans. 

“You look amazing.” He tells Loki as he leans over to give him a gentle kiss in greeting.

Loki hums into the kiss before replying, “You do too. Are you ready for tonight?” 

“As ready as I’ll ever be. What’s the plan?”

“Well first dinner and then I’ll let you know.” Loki flashes Thor a smirk as Thor begins to drive.

“Has anyone ever told you, you are a horrid tease?” Thor huffs out pretending to be annoyed.

“Not recently.” 

“Imp.”

********************

Dinner’s a quiet affair at a local burger joint. They talk about their days over their meal of burgers and shakes. Thor tells Loki about the new brew he’s trying to perfect while Loki entertains Thor with stories about Jarvis’ new obsession, the Halloween party.

Loki still won’t tell Thor his plans; instead, he gives him an address for the GPS. A few minutes later they pull up to an old Victorian house, a sign out front proclaiming the place **Booked Solid**.

“Thor turns off the truck and asks, “A bookstore?”

“No, a _used_ book store. Come on!” 

Thor can’t help but smile at Loki’s obvious joy. He isn’t a big reader, never a hobby he picked up, but he would do just about anything to keep Loki looking so happy.  
“Will I need to hold your hand to make sure you don’t get lost?” Thor asks teasingly.

Loki feels himself blush but tries to cover it up, “Why Mr. Odinson, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to flirt with me.”

Thor pulls on Loki’s arm before he can enter the door, bringing Loki around to capture his lips in a heated kiss. Thor slides his tongue along the seam of Loki’s lips before pulling on his lower lip to give it a nip just as he releases Loki. 

Thor takes note of the dazed look in Loki’s eyes, “It seems I’ve found one way to catch an Imp. I wonder how many other ways there are?” Thor’s eyes are dark, and Loki desperately wants to kiss him again. He isn’t given a chance as Thor takes his hand and they walk into the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually part one of a really long chapter. I felt that this was a good place to stop since the next chapter will have their first x-rated interaction. 
> 
> As always all questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed.


	7. Good (Naughty) Quiet (Screaming) Reading (Fun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING**  
> This chapter contains sex. 
> 
> Just wanted to thank everyone for their Kudos and reviews! So glad this is as enjoyable to read as it is to write. All mistakes are my own ... or my cats if they are playing keyboard cover.
> 
> Enjoy!

The inside of the old Victorian, turned bookstore, is all dark wood and high ceilings. There are also piles upon books everywhere, go figure. The soft overhead lighting gives the whole place a peaceful air, a place to relax. The girl sitting at the checkout desk is flipping through a magazine while nodding along to some pop song playing. She looks up when they enter but go right back to her reading after a quick wave.

Loki explains his idea about each of them finding a book to exchange and read. He figures it would be a fun way to learn more about one another. Thor has a sneaking feeling Loki would use any excuse to visit the bookstore, not that he’s complaining. The old house is quiet without any other customers wandering around, just the background music the girl has playing. 

Moving around the multitude of book stacks and shelving, Thor watches as Loki runs his long fingers down the spines or bends over to sort through the piles of books. Thor realizes he is perfectly content. They go through the various rooms, making their way up the stairs. Loki tells Thor the best finds are always in the attic, Thor readily agrees (although that might have something to do with watching Loki walk up the steps). 

The attic has lower ceilings than the rest of the house, and Thor is relieved to find they are just tall enough for him. Shelves are scattered all around the open space with more random piles of books amongst them. Loki immediately goes to an area along the far wall. Thor looks around, trying to find a book for Loki when he realizes he can’t hear the music anymore. The lighting isn’t as bright as the rest of the house, there are long shadows along the walls, especially near the corning Loki is occupying. 

Thor lets his eyes roam over Loki’s firm backside as he bends over, looking at something on the shelf. Before he can think about it too much, Thor is behind Loki. He presses himself along Loki’s back as he whispers in his ear, “Do you know how distracting you are bent over like that?”

Loki leans back and smiles up at Thor. He nips along his neck before replying, “I was wondering how long it would take you to notice.”

“Imp.” Thor practically growls the word as he turns Loki around and claims his lips.

The kiss is no gentle press of lips, Thor bites at Loki’s bottom lip, this time sliding his tongue into Loki’s mouth as he gasps. He runs his tongue along Loki’s before coxing it into his own mouth.

Loki moans as Thor leaves his mouth to place open mouth kisses along his neck. He pulls Loki’s collar to the side and bites down on the junction between neck and shoulder. Loki whimpers and winds one hand into Thor’s hair, his other hand gripping Thor’s shirt hard enough Thor fear it may rip. Thor pulls away from the mark he’s made, a pleases feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. Taking in Loki’s dazed look and kiss-swollen lips he backs up a step.

“Tell me now to stop and I will.” As much as Thor wants to ravage Lok, he also does not want to push him into something he doesn’t agree to. 

Instead of a verbal response, Loki leans up and kisses Thor again. This time Loki is the one who lays claim to Thor’s mouth. He sucks Thor’s bottom lip into his mouth and runs the tip of his tongue along it. Thor finds it is his turn to moan as Loki bites and sucks at his lips. He lets Loki explore his mouth before taking over the kiss again and ravages Loki’s mouth.

Thor runs his hands under Loki’s shirt, lightly scratching at his back before moving down to grab his ass. Loki throws his head back and groans deeply as Thor squeezes. Thor watches as Loki shoves his ass back into his hands, whimpering as he grips Thor’s biceps. 

“Like that do you?” Thor whispers into Loki’s ear. He nips at the lobe before continuing, “I haven’t even started with you yet, and you are making the sweetest sounds.”

Thor shoves one hand down Loki’s pants and palms his ass. He sucks at Loki’s neck, unzipping his too tight pants. Loki, for his part, slides his hands down Thor’s chest pausing to run his nails over Thor’s nipples before palming his growing erection. 

“It feels like I’m not the only one enjoying this.” Loki rubs his hand along the length of Thor’s trapped cock before undoing his pants. He pushes Thor’s underwear down with his pants to grab Thor’s now fully hard member. Loki looks at his handful, his long, thick, and perfect handful. 

He licks his lips as he tells Thor, “Why don’t you let me take care of this for you.” Before Thor responds Loki is on his knees looking up at Thor as he runs the pointed tip of his tongue along the underside of his cock. Thor makes a strangled sound as Loki swirls his tongue around the head before taking it into his mouth. Loki runs his tongue along Thor’s slit before sucking on the crown.

Loki slowly takes more of Thor into his mouth as he uses his other hand to rub along the base. Thor tries to keep quiet enough to not be heard by the desk clerk. He grips Loki’s hair as Loki begins to move up and down his shaft, taking more into this mouth with each downward stroke. Thor finds himself thrusting into Loki’s mouth, causing Loki to groan around his mouthful.

Thor pulls on Loki’s hair, “Oh gods, you need to stop, or I’m going to cum.” His voice is strained.

Loki just hums. He seems determined to fit Thor’s entire cock in his mouth. He looks up at Thor with lust blown eyes, he hums again. This causes Thor to thrust deeper into Loki’s mouth. He feels his balls drawing up and his orgasm quickly approaching. Thor tries to draw Loki off, but Loki hollows his cheeks and sucks harder. He pulls away until just the head is still in his mouth. Thor fucks into Loki’s mouth one last time as Thor feels himself cum down Loki’s throat. Panting, Thor watches Loki swallow and meets his eyes as he slowly pulls off with gentle suction ensuring he gets every last drop. 

Thor reaches down and pulls Loki to his feet, kissing him hard he shoves Loki’s pants down. He grabs his ass, squeezing gentle before he circles a finger around Loki’s tight hole. He smirks as Loki lets loose a low moan, trying to push himself back on Thor’s teasing finger. 

“Tell me Imp, do you think you could cum from my fingers alone.” He growls this into Loki’s ear. Thor pulls his hands away from Loki’s ass. He locks eyes with Loki as he sucks on a finger. 

He circles Loki’s hole, rubbing at it with increasing pressure until he feels it relax and his finger slips inside. Loki gasps and tries to push back on his finger. Thor holds onto his hip to keep him still. He pushes his finger into the second knuckle before pulling out again. He lets out a groan of his own at the feeling of the tight heat gripping his digit. 

He pulls Loki closer to, pinning his body against his own as he wets his fingers and pushes two in. Loki moans at the stretch and grabs Thor’s shirt in both hands. Thor moves his fingers in and out, rubbing them along Loki’s walls searching for that one little node. He feels Loki jerk and stiffens as he rubs against the spongy tissue. 

“Ahh, here it is,” Thor presses on the bump, lightly dragging his fingers over it, “how long can you last with me fingering your sweet spot like this?” 

“Please, please … gah … more ….” Loki is making small thrusting movements as he babbles at Thor. “I can’t … don’t stop … so good.”

Thor latches onto Loki’s neck again, sucking on the bite he left, darkening it and making Loki throw his head back with a sob. His fingers are a constant agonizingly light touch on Loki’s prostate. He wants nothing more than to bring Loki to the brink over and over before finally letting him come undone. 

Unfortunately, there isn’t enough time for that, and Thor promises himself another time. Instead, he pushes harder on that little knot as he thrust one of his legs against Loki’s length. Thor takes Loki’s mouth in another bruising kiss, silencing his cries as Loki cums. 

Thor gentle pulls out his fingers, he grabs his bandana from his back pocket and cleans Loki up the best he can. Loki is still trying to catch his breath and holds onto Thor. This makes it only slightly tricky to set the two of them to rights. Thor hugs Loki close, kissing his forehead, nose, and lips before nuzzling his neck.

“Oh Imp, you are amazing. You got me hard again just watching your body beg for more.”

Loki chuckles, “I should be annoyed with you for that, ravaging me in public where someone could walk in on us.” 

Thor moves away from Loki, making sure he can stand on his own, “Entirely your fault for looking so fuckable,” Thor kisses Loki one last time, “Come on, we should leave before they come looking for us.”

Loki snorts, “Amanda is not one to be bothered with how long customers meander around the house, so long as they buy something before leaving.”

As it turns out, the teenager is on the phone when they approach the desk to purchase their books. More engrossed in her conversation, she barely acknowledges them as they pay.

The drive back is quiet. Loki is happy for the truck bench as he leans against Thor, who smiles as he feels Loki settle against him. Oh yeah, Thor could really learn to love book shopping; so long as Loki is with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, in the next couple of chapter things will get a little angsty. We'll finally find out what dark cloud is following Loki and what that can mean for this relationship. I plan to sprinkly some good ol' kinky smex in with the angst so it doesn't get too bitter. 
> 
> As always questions, comments, and concerns are welcome.


	8. Absolute Beginners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. The chapter title is taken from a song by the god who was named David Bowie. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the Kudos and reviews!  
> Enjoy!

How anyone gets any work done on a Friday afternoon, Loki will never know. He has plenty of work he should be attempting to finish. Instead, he’s watching the clock and wondering if tonight is such a good idea. He invited Thor over for dinner and movie. Fine, ok, he did invite him over for dinner and a movie but honestly Loki is hoping for a repeat of their Monday activities.

They haven’t seen each other since then, and Loki is trying not to act like a pouting child about this. They had made plans to get together Wednesday, but Loki got called into a custody case. Then yesterday Thor was out of town to meet with potential investors. He was due back sometime this afternoon, and although they had talked on the phone every night, Loki is anxious to see him again.

 

After their little adventure in the bookstore attic on Monday Loki had been slightly worried, Thor got what he wanted, and that would be it. Thor did walk him to his apartment door, only to refuse the offer to come inside. He left after giving Loki a chaste kiss on the lips. Loki found himself struggling to sleep that night and desperately wishing he wasn’t such a slut.

Then sometime in the wee hours of the morning, his phone pinged Thor’s text tone. Loki figured it was Thor breaking things off, he was almost relieved Thor was making a clean break of things. Loki wouldn’t have to spend days wondering if Thor would call. Picking up his phone and braced for the worst Loki instead felt a flood of warmth as he read over Thor’s texts: 

**Thor: Hey Imp. I know that you are probably sleeping right now, but I just wanted you to know that I had a great time with you. Also, can’t seem to sleep and I’m actually reading your book. Which of course just makes me wish you were here to read with … or you know do other things with.**

**Thor: Okay, enough of my insomniac babbling. Hope you have a good day at work and I can’t wait to see you again.**

Loki ended up texting Thor back, which led into a phone call and Thor reading to him again. Loki also learned that Thor was trying to be a gentleman when he dropped him off. Thor thought Loki looked tired and wanted him to get some sleep instead of being ravaged all night (honestly Loki would have preferred option B himself). They talked until it was time for Thor to get ready for work. Loki found himself exhausted during the day but couldn’t be bothered enough to care; even if he did tease Thor about keeping him up anyway.

Loki found himself happier than he had felt in years. He loved how honest Thor was with his feelings and intentions. He found himself trying to do the same. He was worried about being completely honest with Thor and hadn’t told him about his episodes yet. He was planning to do that tonight, although he wanted to avoid the conversation for a bit longer. There was a possibility Thor wouldn’t be okay with the news and leave him. This was a thought Loki couldn’t stand. He found himself calmer and more centered with Thor in his life. He selfishly didn’t want to ruin that but knew it wouldn’t be fair to Thor.

 

Loki shakes his head willing all thoughts of doubt out of his mind. It’s almost 4 pm, and Loki decides he has been productive enough. With a shrug, he settles on leaving early to make sure he is all set for dinner tonight. Besides, it’s a Friday, and he knows everyone else will be doing the same shortly. He figures leaving early will give him time to go to the store and shower. Also, he can’t remember if he has any lube other than the banana-flavored shite Tony gave him for Easter.

********************

Thor is a nervous wreck or as Darcy would say a hot mess. He stops at the gym before going home after his trip, seeing as he hadn’t been in since Tuesday. Thor should have known better as he gets sucked into a conversation with Steve. So instead of his 45-minute workout, he’s there for 3 hours arguing with Steve over who played the better Spock. At least Bucky isn’t there to argue over the inconsistency of the series in general.

When he finally gets home, he notices he still has over two hours before needing to be at Loki’s place. He showers and picks out an outfit for about an hour. He wants an outfit that is comfortable enough for a night in, but sexy enough to keep Loki’s attention. So, he lays out faded jeans and a dark blue shirt. He lets most of his hair down, only doing a half braid to keep it out of his face. Then it’s decision time, aka the cause of all his current woes. Does he pack an overnight bag?

Loki never said he wanted Thor to spend the night, but he also never said he _didn’t_ want Thor to spend the night. Screw it Thor thinks as he checks his watch, he would pack one and leave it in his truck. Decision made he throws a change of clothing, toothbrush, and lube in a small bag. That done he decides to leave and make a pit stop before going over.

********************

Loki is just finishing up dinner prep when he hears knocking at his door. Wiping his hands off on the dishtowel he glares down at his furry shadows.

“Now I like this guy, so no shoes in the litterbox,” he looks at Frack. She gives him a slow blink before starting to clean her chest. “Right, and no hairballs either.” He looks at Frick who is too busy trying to eye up the counter to give Loki any acknowledgment. “I hope you both realize it is only your cuteness that keeps you in food and nip.”

Loki goes to answer the door, his shadows following. Thor is at the door looking drool worthy as usual. He smiles at Loki and holds up a bakery box, “I made dessert.”

Loki feels both eyebrows inching toward his hairline, “Funny how your container looks exactly like the ones from Main St. Treats.”

Thor smile turns sheepish, and he rubs at the back of his neck, “In my defense, they won’t be likely to have us end our date in the ER.”

Loki gives a quiet snort and rolls his eyes, “I appreciate that. Please come in before the twin terrors make a break for it.”

Thor enters and looks around the apartment, they are standing in what seems to be a living room with a soft grey overstuffed couch, twin chairs flanking it and a big screen mounted on the wall. Thor notes there isn’t much in the way of decorations. 

“Twin Terrors? Something I need to know?” Thor asks Loki with a questioning look. 

Loki takes the box from him, “My cats, Frick and Frack. Who are probably in the kitchen helping with dinner. Why don’t I show you around?”

As he walks them toward the kitchen, Loki peeks into the box, “Did you get enough cupcakes?” 

“I wasn’t sure what kind you would like, so I got a half dozen for us to sample.”

Loki hums his agreement as he set the box down,” Ahhh, here they are, my little PETAs. The orange one is Frick while Frack is the black and white one. Don’t be offended if she ignores your existence. That means she likes you.”

Thor crouches down and clicks his tongue a few times holding out his hand for the cats’ inspection, “Frick and Frack, really? Those are the names you came up with?” Thor smiles up at Loki as he is studied by Frick, who deems him worthy enough for an ear scratch. 

“It was that or ‘Get Down’ and ‘Don’t Eat that.’” Loki tells a laughing Thor as he guides him through the rest of the apartment. They ended up back in the kitchen and Loki points Thor to the wine rack and bar stools while he finishes getting dinner together.

“You sure you don’t want any help?” Thor questions as he pours two glasses of wine.

“I’ve got it, besides you get clean up now,” Loki smirks at Thor as he put the cast iron skillet on high, “How do you like your steak?”

“Still mooing or as rare as possible.” Thor finds Loki’s black cat was sitting on the stool next to him, staring. 

“If I had known that I would have made steak tartar. It seems we have the same taste in this as well as Mexican.” Loki glances at Thor and sees he is apparently having a staring contest with Frack.

“I will have to make it for us next time. I can put in for an order of fresh sirloin from the butcher at the bar. So that means it’s my turn to make us dinner next Friday at my place,” Thor tells Loki as he pets Frack.

Loki focuses on the steaks as he quietly replies, “Oh don’t go to all that trouble. I was just joking.”

Loki feels Thor’s hands on his hips as he rests his chin on Loki’s shoulder. Loki notices he smells of rain and something spicy; the slight brush of his beard against Loki’s neck makes Loki almost drop the food. 

“Nonsense, it is no trouble, especially since it is something we will both enjoy,” Thor turns Loki around once he finishes plating, hands still on his hips, he leans close to Loki and whispers, “I must confess. I plan to do everything I can to spoil you.” He nips at the sensitive skin under Loki’s ear earning a moan, “This way you will never want for another.” He kisses Loki gently on the neck before grabbing the two plates, “We should eat before this gets cold.”

Loki’s not sure what comes over him, but he grabs Thor before he walks away and kisses him hard. He feels Thor respond to the kiss, taking over and pushing Loki back into the counter. He’s not sure who moans as Loki opens his mouth to Thor’s tongue. He sucks on it before Thor runs his tongue over the roof of Loki’s mouth. That time Loki knows he’s the one moaning. 

Pulling away, Thor’s smile is almost predatory, “I think we should wait to have dessert until after dinner.”

Loki groans as he follows Thor into his dining room, “I think you are confusing spoiling with tormenting!” 

Thor’s laughter is rich and deep, going right to Loki’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact: I have developed a bit (ha!) of a voice kink. It makes me all warm and fuzzy to picture Thor reading to Loki and cuddling.
> 
> As always all questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed.


	9. Fast is the New Slow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is pretty much self-indulgent smut before things are not so happy. All mistakes are my own. 
> 
> As always: questions, comments and concerns are welcomed.

They have dinner at Loki’s small dinning room table. The food is excellent, and Thor makes his pleasure known, often and loudly. He praises Loki’s cooking and watches as Loki seems to relax. As they eat Thor tries to nonchalantly feed small bites to the cats. Loki watches with a smile, wondering if Thor realizes he just made a friendship that would last for minutes. 

They decide to hold off on dessert for a little while and Thor cleans off the table. They work together to clean the kitchen, despite Thor’s insistence that Loki was only supposed to cook. To this Loki informed Thor that he was only making sure his kitchen wasn’t destroyed. Thor’s very mature response was to flick water at Loki. 

Loki decided to plot his revenge for later and left Thor to finish clean-up to make popcorn and gather drinks. 

They wind up on the couch surfing through Netflix. Loki lets Thor pick the first movie, secretly hoping it isn’t a horror movie. Which of course means that’s exactly what Thor picks.

“How about this one?” He asks Loki.

“Ummm… yeah sure.” Loki stares ahead and tries to look relaxed on his side of the couch.

Thor mumbles something and starts the movie. They are on opposite sides of the couch, which is probably going to be a good thing as Loki hates scary movies. Thor gets up and turns off the lights, Loki tries not to shrink into himself. On his way back, Thor plops down next to Loki. He puts one arm around him and brings him flush with his side. 

“I fail to see the appeal of these movies.” Loki gripes as he arranges himself next to Thor. He finds Thor’s pecs make an excellent pillow. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

“The only good reason to watch a scary movie is that it gives you a reason to snuggle up with someone.” Thor retorts as his hand lightly rubs up and down Loki’s arm.

“Snuggle?” Loki rolls his eyes, “I stand corrected. Did not realize we needed an excuse to be sharing a space.”

Thor lightly pinches Loki’s arm, who jumps with a small yelp. Thor just pulls him closer, “See, already too terrified to be alone and the movie just started. Tell you what, if you are not thrilled with his movie after 20 minutes we can put something else on.”

Loki mulls this over, “Deal. I’m picking the next movie.”

Thor chuckles and runs his fingers over Loki’s side with a tickling tough, this gets him a squawk, “Shhh … that wasn’t even a scary scene.”

Loki grumbles a bit but settles himself along Thor’s side. He figures he can last 20 minutes, what with his human body pillow. He feels safe with Thor’s arm around him and the sound of his heartbeat in his ear. 

As they sit there Thor hand continues to stroke along Loki’s arm. He movies his arm to cup Loki’s arse during a part that has Loki clinging to him. He gives it a squeeze, Loki gives a little gasp. Thor begins to run his hand over Loki’s arse. Loki was trying to sit still and not embarrass himself by thrusting into Thor’s hand. Which was not an easy task with Thor’s large warm hand cupping his arse. Thor shifts around on the couch, picking up Loki with ease as he stretches out and has Loki virtually laying on top of him.

“Is this okay?” Thor quietly asks Loki.

“Mmmm, this is good.” Loki lays his head on Thor’s chest.

Thor places his hand back on Loki’s bottom, his other hand on Loki’s back. Thor continues his exploration of Loki’s body. Loki is very glad he wore light weight slacks as he can feel the heat of Thor’s hand. Then Thor slips his hand into said pants. 

Loki groans and arches his back to push into Thor’s hand. Thor for his part keeps up the light fondling. The heat of his hand with the feather light touches leaves Loki hard and wanting. 

Loki makes a move to unzip Thor’s pants, when he is stopped, “Not now, I want this to be about you.” Thor cards his free hand through Loki’s hair, “I want to watch as you lose control, listen as you can do nothing but pant my name.” Thor is growling as his finger slips between Loki’s cheeks, “Tonight, let’s see how long it takes for you to cum on my fingers as I stretch that sweet tight hole of yours.”

Loki whimpers at this, he tries to spread his legs a little more in the small space. Thor resumes his ministrations, now his finger is running up and down Loki’s cleft. Every few passes he pushes at Loki’s hole. His finger feels huge against the tight bud. Loki isn’t sure how long this continues when he feels Thor moving around before he hears the click of a cap opening. He starts to question Thor when his slacks are shoves down his legs and something cold drips down his cleft. Loki gasps at the sudden changes. 

Thor runs his hands over Loki’s back, “This still okay?” 

Loki can only nod against his chest. Thor groans as his hand returns to teasing against Loki’s hole.

“Mmmm … so tight. I can’t wait to be buried in your tight little hole. Watch as my cock slides into you, and listen as you are making these gasping needy sounds. You will be so stretched by my cock that you’ll feel it for days,” Thor tilts Loki’s head up to capture his lips in a heated kiss. He claims Loki’s mouth as he slips just the tip of one finger into Loki, “You will look so beautiful as I fuck you, making you crave my touch.”

Thor slowly moves his finger in and out of Loki’s tight channel. Loki has Thor’s shirt balled in his fists as he tries to hump back onto his finger, “Please, oh please.” 

“As beautiful as it is to hear you beg, we are going to go at my pace or not at all.” Thor brushes over Loki’s prostate with this statement.

Loki desperately tries to arch his back but finds himself pinned by Thor’s other hand. Thor completely pulls his finger out and Loki whimpers at the loss.

“Shhh …. We are just getting started.” Thor kisses the top of Loki’s head as he pushed two fingers into him. This time he presses on Loki’s sweet spot before scissoring his fingers. Slowly and without brushing against that spot again he alternates between scissoring his fingers and rubbing along Loki’s walls as he leisurely fucks him open. He looks down at Loki, who is bright eyed and flushed. His hands are balled into Thor’s shirt and his hips are making minute thrusting circles trying to seek the friction he craves. 

Loki wants to cry in frustration. He is hard and aching, he wants to rut against Thor’s leg. He wants Thor to stop teasing. He wants Thor to fuck him into the couch. 

“Please Thor. Please! Fuck me. Split me open on your cock. Fuck me so I can’t sit down. I need you.” 

“Oh Imp. I am right here. Didn’t I tell you that tonight was about your pleasure?” Thor rumbles into Loki’s ear as he taps on his prostate, he alternates between pressing directly on the little node and rubbing around it. 

Loki cries out. He feels Thor slip a third finger into him, this time there is a slight burn. Loki moans aloud as he scratches along Thor’s sides. It is too much, and it isn’t enough. Loki growls at Thor as he begins to move his hand faster. His fingers almost in constant contact with that little bundle of nerves now. Loki howls as Thor finally fucks into him. 

“There you go. Is this what you needed.” Thor asks as he spreads his fingers out, “Do you think you could cum from this alone? I want to watch as I force that orgasm out of you.”

At this Thor begins to massage Loki’s prostate. He pushes, rubs, and taps on it. Loki loses what little breath he had. Oh gods, he begins a mantra of “Thor” and “please”. Never has he ever had someone torture him like this. He is so hard and leaking against Thor’s leg, unable to move he wails as he feels Thor insert his pinky.

“Oh gods Loki. Just look at you, still so tight with four fingers stretching you. Your hole is begging for more, trying to suck my hand into your tight heat.”

Loki can do little more than moan as Thor tells him about how hot and tight and _perfect_ he is taking all four of Thor’s fingers. He can only sob his agreement that yes, he will come from just Thor’s fingers. 

“That’s it Imp. Let go, cum for me. Let me hear you.” Thor whispers this as he stops his fingers and pushes on Loki’s prostate. 

Loki wails as he finally cums. His cock twitching as he feels his release wash over him and take him under. The last thing he sees his Thor’s bright eyes and smug smile.

*^*^*^

Loki must not be out long because when he comes to Thor is gently cleaning him off, “hey” he says to Thor.

“Hey yourself. How do you feel?” Thor finishes cleaning up the mess and drops the cloth to the floor. He gathers Loki into his arms and runs his fingers through his hair.

“I feel good, shaky but good.” Loki bites his lip before saying more, “That was amazing, but why wouldn’t you let me take care of you.?” Loki is confused by Thor’s actions; his previous encounters never would have stopped Loki from reciprocate.

Thor is quiet for a moment, “You did take care of me,” Thor places a finger over Loki’s lips to stall his comment, “Watching you not only enjoy what we were doing but knowing that you wanted me to do it, is how you took care of me.”

Loki looks at Thor, “So, you like watching me get off?” 

Thor nods

“And you liked torturing me into an earth shattering orgasm?”

Thor nods with a small almost bashful smile.

“Well, I guess I can allow you that privilege from time to time,” Loki’s eyes light up as he smirks at Thor, “I just have one more question.”

“What’s that?”

“Does that mean I can play with this now?” Loki palms at Thor’s still stiff member as he says this.

Thor groans, “Only if you want to.”

Loki hums and he unzips Thor’s pants, “Oh I want to very much. Let’s see if I can get you to pass out.” 

“You can try, Imp. You can try.”


	10. Help Me with These Unhealed Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **** WARNING****  
> This chapter has content that may trigger some people. There are scenes with domestic abuse/violence at the beginning. If you do not want to read these scenes than scroll down until you see *^*^*^. They have their intended purpose, but please do not read them if you do not feel comfortable.
> 
> And thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos. You all rock.  
> Thank you for reading.

tick tick tick  
tick tick _tick_ tick  
tick _tick_ ……..

“She left because of you. Freak!”

Loki huddles in the corner. Tears streaked down his cheeks, a purpling mark is forming along the left side of his face. There are finger shaped bruises around his neck and if one knew to look, long red lines mar the skin of his back. He shrinks down into himself, arms locked around knees. His mind is screaming, begging, crying out for him to run. His body is petrified, legs long asleep, hands coldly numb. He wishes for that cold numbness to spread. Loki shuttered in terror as the big man screamed at him. 

“Idiot boy! Can’t fucking close your goddamn mouth.”

:CRASH:

Shards of glass rain down on him. They send sparks of discomfort along his scalp, tiny bites of pain. A reminder. He curls up tighter, wishing to disappear. He feels cold liquid slide down his back, pin pricks of burning agony following in its wake. His eyes burn as more tears escapes. His throat feels thick from all the pressure around it. His skin stretched tight over the swelling. He’s lost all feeling in his legs. When will the rest of his body follow? 

“Got nothing to say for yourself now?! **DO YOU!!** Fucking _useless_ eater. Should have tossed you out when she left. You’re not worth the money.”

Loki is grabbed by his throat. He tries to kick out, but his legs hang limply. Nausea hits him as he struggles to breath. Black spots swirls in his vision, he claws at the hand. His world tilts as his back is slammed against something hard and unforgiving. The sudden release of pressure around his neck cause him to cough violently. His head is forced back, and hot stale breath burns his ear.

“Hope you enjoyed your visit with that old bitch. That’s the last time I ever let you make a fool of me,” the voice is soft, almost gentle. A thumb rubs light circles over his left cheek. 

Loki cringes back as a punch is deliver. He can feel the bones grind and shift in his eye socket. He can feel the hot trails of blood mimic the path of his tears.  
A dark chuckle echoes around the empty basement room. The darkness is closing in as the voice whispers, “To think you were actually going to get to eat this week. Such a pity.”

tick tick tick  
tick tick _tick_ tick  
TICK **TICK** ……..

His lips are wrapped around a long hot prick. He gags as it is shoved to the back of his throat. He tries to pull back, but a hand slaps the back of his head and pushes it forward.  
“Yeah baby … just like that. Fuck! Your mouth is finally good for something.”

Tears prickle in his eyes as he tries to hold off the vomit he feels scorching a line up his throat. The cock slams into the back of this throat again and again. He is lightheaded as his lungs scream for oxygen. He is rocked back as the cock swells and slams deep into his throat one last time then bitter, acidic, thick cum is coating his mouth and throat. He takes a deep inhale as the cock is quickly removed from his mouth. He cringes as the last of the man’s spunk hits his face.

He looks ups as the man takes a deep breath, “Fuck Loki, that was brilliant!” He tucks himself back in his pants, “Damnit! I’ve got to go baby.” 

“You said we had all night. Kyle you promised.” Loki cringes as his voice comes out hoarse.

Kyle pecks him on the head, “Yeah I thought we did but Jason got his license back and we need to celebrate,” He pats Loki on the head, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll get you next time.”

Kyle gives Loki a wave as he runs out the door.

“You said that last time.” Loki whispers into the empty room.

tick tick tick  
tick tick _tick_ tick  
TICK **TICK** ……..

“You said you’d have dinner on the table! Can’t you even get that right?!” The man is yelling at Loki, has him pushed against the counter, “Isn’t it enough that I pay for this place and the food you constantly ruin, now you have the gall to be late.”

Loki’s mouth is dry, he can’t get his muscles to cooperate enough to swallow, “aaa…A mother came in to file custody papers. I didn’t want her to wait until tomorrow. I’m sorry Stephen, I can have dinner ready in 15 minutes.” 

The man’s eyes narrow, “What is so important about custody papers? You sure you weren’t letting Tony fuck you in the break room. Bet you would love that.”  
Loki gapes at him, “What?! Stephen no! Tony is like a brother to me. I would never betray you like that.” 

The other man snorts as he backs up, “Of course not, who else would take such a needy bottom slut like you? I’m going to shower, had to take over Weaver’s surgery today, not that you bothered to ask. I expect dinner to be ready by the time I get back.”

He stalks out of the kitchen. Loki slides down the counter shaking as he tries to pull air into his lungs.

“Pathetic,” Stephen is back in the door way, disgust curling his lip, “Try not to overcook the chicken this time. I’d _hate_ for you to need another cooking _lesson_.”  
Loki can’t keep the tremor from his hands as he turns to begin the meal.

tick tick tick  
tick tick _tick_ tick  
TICK **TICK** ……..

*^*^*^*^

Loki is jolted awake. He is trapped. He can’t move. Fear chokes him as blindly lashes out. Struggling to sit up, a scream is lodged in his throat.

“Loki. Loki, LOKI!” A deep lightly accented voice finally penetrates the fog blanketing his mind. He knows that voice. He’s safe. They weren’t there, he was with Thor. Oh no … Thor.

Loki feels shame color his face as he looks to where Thor is kneeling next to the couch. He is holding Loki’s hands in one of his own. His other hand is resting on Loki’s leg, rubbing his cloth covered knee in small circles. There is a look of concern in his eyes, Loki’s shame grows, and he quickly looks away.

Thor slowly raises and sits back on the couch next to Loki, he leaves space between them. Putting his hand on that space he clears his throat, “I got up to get some water and got distract by Frick. I came running when I heard your scream.” Thor pauses. Loki closes the distance between them and takes Thor’s hand as he lays his head on his shoulder, “Would you like to talk about it?” 

Thor question is quiet. There is no judgement in his voice, only worry and a hint of curiosity. Loki wants to crawl into his arms and forget the dream. He has always craved physical reassurance after one. A weakness he doesn’t feel like fighting with tonight.

“Yes. No. Maybe?” Loki gives a brittle laugh, “I don’t think this is a third date conversation.” 

“Is it appropriate fourth date conversation? I can always run and grab us a midnight snack?” 

Thor puts his arm around Loki. He feels how tense the other man is and beings to pull away. Loki quickly grabs his arm and shakes his head no.

“Do you think … do you think you could lay down with me?” Loki pretends he doesn’t hear the way his voice cracks.

“I can do anything you need me to.”

Thor moves to stretch back out on the couch.

“Not here, the bed is much more comfortable,” Loki mentally chastises himself for his obvious neediness, “That is if you still don’t mind.” 

Thor doesn’t say anything. He picks up Loki as if he weighted nothing and carries him to the bedroom. Loki can’t help the squawk he lets out as he clings to Thor’s neck.  
“I had a nightmare. That doesn’t not impede my ability to walk.” Loki finds himself laughing as Thor tosses him gently on the bed. 

“Ahh but my Godlike strength and good looks have distracted you enough to gain me entrance to your boudoir.” Thor wiggles his eyebrows with enough exaggeration that Loki fears he is going to give himself a headache.

“Boudoir? I didn’t realize that a big, strong, fierce man such as yourself knew such words.” Loki feels the world settle around him as he teases Thor.

“Oh, there are many words I know,” Thor’s grin is pure mischief, “bureau, wardrobe, vanity,” Thor strips down to his boxers and crawls across the bed till he has Loki under him. He leans down and whispers into his ear, “nightstand.” 

Loki stares up at Thor one eyebrow almost disappearing into his hair line, and bursts out laughing. His laughter is short-lived as Thor’s lips descend onto his own. The kiss is brief, but it is enough to silence the whispers in Loki’s head. Loki removes his own clothing and helps Thor slide under the covers. They settle down, Loki feels Thor’s heat as he is pulled back into his arms. 

“Thank you.” Loki mumbles quietly.

Thor tighten his arms around Loki, “Think nothing of it.”

As he feels himself drafting back to sleep Loki swears he hears Thor whisper, “I hope you come to trust me enough to share with me your pain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't end the chapter without giving Loki some TLC. It may seem like they are blowing off what happened, but sometimes a person is too raw after a painful remembrance. They will be discussing this and more in later chapters. 
> 
> Self-indulgent plug: If you need some hot smexy lovin' after this chapter than check out my other fic: Less Can be More.
> 
> As always, questions, comments, and concerns are always welcomed.


	11. Silent Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,
> 
> Hope everyone is still enjoying this story. Based on my outline this is about the half way point. That is if the muse decides to cooperate. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left Kudos and comments!

The sun had yet to grace the world with its presence. The room was dark and quiet, the only sounds were light breathing and the occasional whimper. The two figures on the bed were intertwined, the larger of the two cradling the smaller man to his body. Each time the smaller man would stiffen and make a sound of fear in his sleep the other man would run his hand down his back and pull him closer. This seemed to soothe them both. 

Thor wasn’t sure how long they had been laying there. He had yet to sleep, he was still too wired from hearing Loki’s screams. They had fallen asleep on the couch after they were both sated and content. Thor had woken up sometime later, the only source of light was the glow from the muted TV. He noticed that Loki was curled onto his side and still using Thor as a pillow. He watched his eyes flutter as he dreamed, practically memorized by the softening of Loki’s features as he slept. Thor knew that Loki carried a lot of stress, more than he had admitted to Thor yet, but it was never more evident than now.

There was something about Loki that called to Thor. Steve wasn’t wrong when he jokingly told Thor he thought Loki was custom made for him. Loki was everything Thor could want in a partner. He was witty, sharp, caring, and just about the sexiest thing Thor had ever seen. Sure, they were still figure thing out, Thor had yet to truly talk to Loki about his desires. Although, after what they did tonight Thor wasn’t as worried. 

He loved watching Loki come undone, the way he was initially uncertain only to succumb to the pleasure Thor was giving him. To Thor it was one of the most erotic acts to bring his partner off as he watched. Then to do it again as he was wrapped in their tight heat. Tonight, he had wanted it to be all about Loki’s pleasure. He had a nagging feeling that Loki did not have much experience with giving lovers. Thor planned to change that.

Needing the bathroom and a drink Thor kissed the top of Loki’s head as he shifted from under him. Loki made a noise of protest as Thor got up, “I’ll be right back.” Thor whispered to him.

After attending to his bodily needs Thor went to the kitchen to find a glass, he noticed the apartment seemed eerie at night. Might have been the two sets of eyes that were following him. Thor found the cupboard with glasses and sat at the island, he absently noticed there was a night light in the kitchen. He turns to regard the stool next to him. The cat sitting there gives him a look, before yawning. Thor isn’t a cat person, well he doesn’t have much experience with cats. He holds out his hand and the cat bops his head against it. Thor counts this as a win and pets the animal.

“Any advice on how to woo your owner?” Thor chuckles as he asks the cat. 

The cat for his part stares at Thor. Then his ears flatten against his head, and he takes off. No sooner does the cat leave than Thor hears a gut-wrenching scream. He runs back to the living room, immediately checking on Loki. The screams cut off into a whimper as Thor kneels, calling Loki’s name. Loki seems to be trying to make himself as small as possible, curled into the back of the couch. He is shaking as another scream rips from his throat. Thor places his hand on his shoulder only for Loki to lash out. Thor shakes the shoulder, continuing to call Loki’s name. Loki’s eyes flash open and the look of terror clouding them makes Thor’s heart clench. Loki continues to struggle, almost kneeing Thor. Thor calls his name one last time and is relieved to see the fog clear from his eyes. Soon a look of shame seems to take over, and a few things click into place in Thor’s mind. Thor comforts Loki and they end up in his room, a room that Thor finds himself contemplating as he holds Loki.

Thor is not a stupid man. Many mistakenly think he is due to his size and because he tends to observe rather than comment. He has noticed that Loki tends to use his sarcasm and sharp wit when he is feeling vulnerable. He hides behind a mask of haughty apathy that Thor saw right through that first night. Thor has a sinking feeling that someone in Loki’s past abused him greatly. This thought made Thor tighten his hold on Loki to the point where he let out a small sound of discomfort. Thor loosen his hold but promises himself that he will do everything in his power to be the man Loki needs. 

They might have only known each other for a week, but Thor felt like he could spend the rest of his life with this man. Now he just had to convince Loki that. Letting out a sigh Thor closes his eyes hoping that Loki will be willing to talk once he wakes up. He fears that Loki may try to push him away when he remembers everything in the light of day. Good thing Thor has a hell of a stubborn streak.


	12. Can't Push Me Away

The feeling of warmth was the first thing Loki noticed as he came to awareness. It was a much more gradual waking than what he experienced the night before. The next thing he became conscious of was the firm body he was pressed up against; which might also explain the arm draped across his waist. He takes a few moments to savor the feeling of Thor wrapped around him. Turning around he sees that Thor is asleep, his face relaxed and breathing even. 

Deciding to let him sleep Loki carefully shifts out from under his arm. He grabs some lounge pants and makes his way to the bathroom. Once he finishes his morning necessities Loki is confronted with his reflection. Eyes are red rimmed and underlined in with dark smudges that almost look like bruises. He’s paler than usual, even his lips seem to be drained of colour. He should probably shower; his hair is lank around his face. Then again what’s the use?

Part of him knows that he is still raw from the dream and it is not a time he should be left with his own thoughts. A smaller but much louder voice is telling him he’s probably already disgusted Thor with his instability and neediness. It’s the same voice he’s always heard. One that seems to be a hateful combination of those who have hurt him most. Loki doesn’t want to listen and yet he can’t help but listen. 

“Pathetic. Look at you, what would he ever see in you? You’re lucky he fell asleep or he’d have been out of here by now. Hope you enjoyed last night because that’s the last pity fuck he’s ever going to give you.”

Loki feels the tears threatening to escape as he slumps against the wall. Gods, why can’t he pull himself together? He just needs to stop with his useless self-pity. It’s what got him into trouble in the past. Didn’t Stephen always tell him that his constant need for reinsurance was what ruined their relationship? So, he just had to shove all this emotional shite aside and make sure he could please Thor. Before he too realized how pitiful Loki was truly. 

^*^*^*^*

The smell of coffee and bacon woke Thor from a fitful sleep. He was surprised that he’d slept through Loki getting up. Stretching he noticed the furry lump that was on his legs, one that refused to move as he attempted to get out of bed. Finding his pants on the floor he dressed and made his way to the kitchen, not sure what to expect.

Loki had his back to Thor; standing rigid at the counter with his head bowed. He was cutting up what looked to be vegetables and seemed to have all the makings for omelets. Thor watched him for a moment, trying to gage his mood. His movements were methodical and almost robotic. Thor had watched Loki cook dinner last night with such grace and passion, which were both lacking now. It was more a chore than a beloved activity. This did not sit right with Thor.

“Hey, you didn’t wake me.” Thor said as he approached Loki. 

Loki startles at the sound of his voice, he let out a gasp as he dropped the knife. Thor rushed to his side as he saw blood drip from Loki’s hand. He grabbed paper towels and reached for Loki’s hand.

“Ah shit, I didn’t mean to surprise you. Here let me.” Thor tired to put the paper towels on the slide he sees along the side of his hand. Loki goes stiff and jerks away from him.  
“No. It’s fine. I’ve got it.” Loki turns his back to Thor as he wraps a dish towel around his hand. He moves to pick up the knife again.

“Whoa now. Let’s get that cut taken care of so it doesn’t get infected.”

“I said it was fine! I need to finish this. Don’t want to make you wait for breakfast.” Loki tried for a laugh at the end, but it just came out sounding forced.

With shaking hands Loki picked back up the knife and started to cut up some mushrooms. Alarm bells were going off in Thor’s head. He remembers when Steve first came back and how he would slip into himself. It was like a switch was flipped and suddenly Steve was no longer there. This wasn’t quite the same, but similar enough for Thor to feel an ache in his chest. Making an impulsive decision Thor turned off the burners and faced Loki.

“Put the knife down,” he made sure his voice was firm but not harsh, “You are coming with me.” He made sure his prompts were short and did not leave room for debate.  
Loki finally turned to face him and looked to be about to argue.

“Now Imp.” It was a gamble to use the nickname. He hoped that it would ground Loki and remind him of who was making the request.

The light seemed to come back to Loki’s eyes. It was as if he was finally waking up. He put the knife down and fully turned to face Thor. There was still a slight tremor to his hands and he looked about ready to bolt, but Thor was relieved he got this much. Reaching out he gently took Loki’s uninjured hand in his, it was so cold, and pulled him toward the bathroom. Once there he had Loki sit down as he searched for antiseptic and bandages. 

“Let’s take a look at this,” Thor knelt in front of Loki and gingerly took his injured hand. Unwrapping the towel, he began to quietly talk to Loki, “When I first got my own place my mom got me this set of cooking pots and knives. I think she forgot all the times I attempted to burn down the house before this.” 

Thor stops as he inspects the cut, it isn’t deep and seems to be clotting. He turns the tap on to clean it out, “Anyway, I must have also forgotten my past experience when I decided to make chicken wings.” He sees a small smile gracing Loki’s lips, “So I invite some of the guys over and here I am with about 2 dozen chicken wing quarters. I had no idea how to go about cooking these things, and I had to break them down. Needless to say, I may have ended up slicing my palm open trying to get these buggers apart.” 

“And you were going to cook for me?” Loki’s voice is soft, almost timid as he watches Thor bandage his cut.

“That Christmas Steve and Bucky chipped in and got me cooking classes,” he places a soft kiss on Loki’s wrist, “which is what got me started with brewing beer. There I think you are all set.”

“I should go finish breakfast. I’m sure you’re starving by now.” Loki’s voice is still quiet and lacks inflection. 

“Actually, I’d much rather know what’s going on.” Thor cups Loki’s check, he gives a silent cheer when Loki doesn’t pull away, “Talk to me Loki. Did I do something wrong?”

“No! You’ve been nothing but great,” Loki looks almost frighten as he’s quick to respond, “I’m sorry for upsetting you. It won’t happen again.”

Loki eyes are almost pleading as he stares at Thor, and that’s when Thor realizes Loki’s still in that place in his head. Going with his gut he scoops up Loki as he did last night and takes them back to the bedroom.

Loki doesn’t respond this time, and as Thor glances down he sees tears clinging to his lashes. Thor lays Loki down on the bed and crawls on next to him. Once he gets situated he pulls Loki into his arms. Loki is ramrod straight as he is pulled against Thor’s chest. Thor doesn’t say anything as he runs his hand over Loki’s back, he keeps his touch light. After a few minutes he feels Loki relax and bury himself closer. Thor places a kiss to the top of his head. He noticed last night that physical contact seems to calm Loki down. He’s not sure how long they lay there like that, and he really doesn’t care. 

“I’m not usually so emotional,” Loki mumbles, “I won’t blame you for walking away.”

Thor moves back so he can look Loki in the eyes, “I’m not going anywhere. You’ve ensnarled me in your trap, so too bad for you, you’re stuck with me now.” 

A smile spreads across Loki’s face and he visible relaxes, “I think I can live with that.”  
Thor laughs, “There’s my Imp.” He leans forward and captures Loki’s lips in a kiss, savoring the moan Loki lets out, “How about we get some of that coffee I smell, and you let me demonstrate my mad omelet making skills? Then if you’re ready we’ll talk and if not then we won’t.”  
Loki looks like he is about to protest but Thor cuts him off before he can, “This isn’t up for debate. You will sit at the island and supervise, but that’s it.”  
Loki shuts his mouth and nods, “Just don’t burn down the apartment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another angst-filled chapter. How did that happen? Anyway, the next chapter will have Loki revealing a lot to Thor. Then they should be back to lusty thoughts and actions. I just do not want to rush into sexy times without addressing Loki's behaviors. They may have a long journey ahead of them but with a thousand pit-stops to boink like bunnies.
> 
> Thank you to everyone reading this story. Kudos and comments make my world go round.


	13. Make Me Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When a God of Mischief asks you if you’ll write a sex scene, you say “YES”!  
> I swear that every time I let these two play adult games I have to add more tags.  
> Anyway, here's some smut to sweeten up everyone's weekend.  
> Thank you to everyone who's left Kudos and comments. They are better than ice cream ... well ... better than most ice cream.  
> ENJOY!

Thor finds himself watching Loki as he picked at his breakfast. He knows there is nothing wrong with the food, and Loki himself commented on how good it smelled. It seems that Loki never intended to eat any of the food he was preparing; if his mumbled “I usually only have a cup of coffee” was anything to go by. Thor files this information away with all the other tidbits he has collected. He eventually gets Loki to eat by threatening to feed the omelet to the cats. He thinks Loki was more afraid the cats would be sick than any real desire to take in sustenance. 

They end up back on the couch, sitting on opposite side. There is an awkwardness between them that wasn’t there before. The silence hangs heavy in the air, Loki is curled into a ball staring at his hands. He lets out a huge sigh before he practically lunges himself across the couch. Luckily Thor was ready for him and he wraps an arm around the smaller body as Loki settles onto his lap. 

“I figured it was about time I made the first move.” Loki glances up at Thor with a smirk. Some of his confidence seems to be returning,  
“If I remember correctly you were the one to bump into me.” Thor chuckles as Loki’s smirk turns into a playful glare.

“I can’t help it if you were too slow to get out of my way.” 

“Ahh, but then my plan to meet you would have been ruined.” Thor gives Loki an overly embellished wink. 

Loki breaks down laughing. It feels good to laugh, even better when Thor joins in. He waits for the laughter to die down before he leans up to place a kiss at the corner of Thor’s mouth. As he moves to pull away he feels Thor’s hands frame his face and pull him back for another kiss. One that is not meant to tease, but to express desire and need. Loki finds himself moaning as Thor’s tongue tangles with his own. He shifts closer as he hears Thor’s answering groan. All too soon the need to breath encroaches on their pleasure. They lean against one another as they pant and try to regain high cognition. 

Thor is the first one to speak, “Not that I will ever complain about kissing you, but are you sure this is okay?” 

Loki tilts his head at Thor and gives him a look of longing, “This is about the only thing I am sure of right now.” Loki plays with a lock of Thor’s hair, “I don’t want to think about all that needs to be said. I promise full disclosure,” he uses the lock to tug Thor closer and his voice is husky as he whispers, “but for right now I want you to help me forget.”

Loki claims Thor’s mouth as he runs his nails over his scalp. Taking advantage of Thor’s gasp, he latches onto his throat and sucks a kiss there. Thor is trying to maintain some semblance of decency and not throw Loki down on the couch and fuck him. This may be what Loki thinks he wants, but Thor has a much better plan. One that will not only make Loki forget all those unwanted memories but will also allow Thor to worship Loki like he deserves. Smiling at his plan, he stands up with Loki still wrapped around him. They enter the bedroom and Thor gently tosses Loki to the bed before he crawls up to lean over him.

Thor doesn’t waste time as he strips Loki, he places kisses on his neck and jaw before claiming his lips once again. He pulls back to meet Loki’s eyes, “You have no idea how fucking beautiful you are,” he places a kiss on his nose making Loki glare and scrunch it, “I’ll just have to show you since you don’t want believe me.” He nips along Loki’s jaw, stopping when he gets to his ear, “You have the power here, tell me to stop at any time and I will. Okay?”

Loki gives a shaky nod and Thor gives a quick bite to his ear lobe before sucking it into his mouth. He smirks at Loki’s obvious enjoyment as his nails scrap down Thor’s back under his shirt.

“I think you are wearing too much for this.” Loki tries to pull off the shirt, letting out a frustrated growl. 

“Keep making noises like that and I may never let you out of this bed.” Thor gets up to remove his own clothing, he watches as Loki’s eyes roam over his body. Standing at the foot of the bed he grabs an ankle and pulls the other man to him. Thor kneels on the bed between Loki’s splayed thighs, “Like what you see?”

Loki bites his lip and moans as he runs his hands over any part of Thor he can reach. Thor chuckles as he indulges in the contact. Loki’s touch become firm as he seeks out Thor’s nipples. He rubs the buds before giving them a sharp pinch. The pain laced pleasure goes right to Thor’s cock. Loki’s hands move lower and he wraps one cool hand around the hardening member. He keeps his tough light and teasing. He smirks up at Thor before he removes his hand completely. He brings it up to his mouth and licks it as he maintains eye contact. Then there is a firm grip and delicious slide up and down Thor’s shaft. 

Two can play at this game Thor thinks as he leans down and flicks his tongue over one of Loki’s nipples. He watches as it pebbles and blows on it. Loki makes a sound deep in his throat and arches his chest up. 

“Mmmm … Did I find a sensitive spot?” Thor questions as he treats the other nipple to the same attention. 

Before Loki can give a reply, Thor seals his mouth over the tight bud and sucks, swirling his tongue around the peak. He pinches and pulls the other one and listens as Loki shouts. Lifting he switches sides. He runs his teeth over the nipple, applying a little pressure he pulls the bud into his mouth. He waits till Loki quiets some before he bites the tiny bud. Loki screams and grips Thor’s head, pulling him closer to his body. Thor soothes the bite with gentle strokes of his tongue before he sucks on it, hard. He feels the shutter that goes through Loki and smiles as he twists his other nipple before pulling on it. Loki gasps out Thor’s name as he tugs on his hair. 

Thor releases the nipple from his mouth, loving how it is red and puffy. He flicks his thumb over it, coaxing more sounds out of Loki. 

“Please, please Thor. Ahhhhh, THOR!”

Thor bites down on the other nipple, not wanting to leave Loki uneven. He sucks on the bud as he continues to flick the other. Loki is panting, trying to get the breath to say something. Thor doesn’t let him as he sucks and pinches the little nubs. Leaning back, he looks at his handiwork. Loki is breathing hard, his hair sticking to his face and neck. His poor abused nipples are cherry red and puffy, they glisten with saliva and Thor can’t help but give them one last twist. Loki screams as Thor watches him cum, head thrown back and body arching. Thor doesn’t think he’s ever seen such a perfect sight. 

“See what happens when you make such pretty sounds.” Thor kisses down Loki’s body, “I just can’t help myself.” He places a kiss on Loki’s softening member before trailing his tongue down to his balls. Shifting he lifts Loki’s legs up to his shoulders and spreads his ass cheeks, “Let’s find out what other sounds I can cajole out of you.” With that Thor runs his tongue down Loki’s cleft. 

“Thor! What?! Gah!” Loki shout is only a touch shrill.

Thor ignores him in favor of flattening his tongue and rubbing it around Loki’s hole. He licks around the tight furrow, before he blows across it. He makes sure his beard rubs against the puckered hole, loving the hitching gasps he’s pulling from Loki. He’s tightens his grip as Loki bucks and squirms. Thor points his tongue and dips it into the tight bud. He sucks on it, feeling the muscles begin to relax. Soon he is pressing his tongue into the gripping heat; moaning as his tongue begins to slide in and out. 

Pulling back Thor runs his tongue around the rim before sinking it back in. He continues to fuck Loki with his tongue, mimicking what’s about to happen. He watches as Loki tosses his head back and starts to make mewing little noises. He is begging Thor to fuck him. Begging for him to stop, don’t stop. Thor slides a finger into Loki along side his tongue. He pushes the finger in and out as he continues to suck and lick. He wants Loki to be as relaxed as possible for what’s to come. Thor is not a small man and he doesn’t want to hurt Loki. 

He searches around for the lube he tossed on the bed, finding it, he pours some onto his fingers. Leaning back Thor removes his finger to lower Loki back to the bed. Before he can move he sudden has a lap full of Loki. 

“Here I thought I was the one with the silver-tongue. You are full of surprises.” Loki murmurs into Thor’s ear before pulling him into a deep kiss. He grabs the lube from Thor and coats his own fingers, giving Thor a smirk, he wraps his hand around Thor’s cock. He strokes it firmly, covering the shaft in the lube, “Can’t let you have all the fun,” Loki whispers as he teases the slit and his other hand moves to fondle Thor’s balls.

It’s Thor’s turn to moan, he grips Loki’s hips trying not to buck the man off. Taking a breath, he moves to tease at Loki’s hole with this lube slick fingers. He manages to slip one finger before Loki clutches at his wrist, “No. Let me feel all of you,” he pushes on Thor’s chest, “I watch you come inside of me as I ride you.”

Thor can’t argue with that, especially when Loki asks. He moves around until he’s laying back with his head propped up, so he can watch. He holds onto the base of his member as Loki kneels over it, his other hand on Loki’s hip. Loki slowly lowers himself down, letting out a small noise as he feels the tip breach his hole. 

Thor is enthralled with the vision of Loki lowering himself onto his cock. Then he feels that tight heat clench around him. It slowly engulfs his shaft, until Loki is pressed against him fully. Thor rubs circles on Loki’s hip as he hears the pain filled gasp.

“Loki, you with me?” Thor wants to sit up and take Loki into his arms but fears the movement will cause Loki more pain. Reaching for Loki’s cock Thor gives it a few tugs.

“MMmmm… yeah. I just need a moment. Oh gods, so full. Feels good.” Loki’s voice is breathless, he starts to circle his hips. He moans as he begins to lift back up onto his knees. 

Thor struggles not to thrust up, letting Loki set the pace. Loki drops back down, he is panting as he moves faster. Shifting his hips, he slams down onto Thor’s shaft with a shout. Loki seeks out that spot within himself again, whimpering as Thor’s thick girth rubs against it on as he sinks down. Leaning back Loki balances himself on Thor’s thighs and finds that perfect angle. Moving faster Loki feels Thor’s cock hit his prostate with every thrust. He sobs as the pleasure become almost unbearable. Clenching around Thor he feels his orgasm fast approaching.

Thor is memorized watching as his cock is swallowed by Loki’s tight hole again and again. Loki is starting to lose his rhyme and grinds down onto Thor. Thor can tell Loki is close to cumming, he can feel his channel tightening as Loki gasps. Wanting him to cum first, Thor waits until Loki is grinding against him to reach up and give his nipples a sharp twist. Loki’s mouth falls open and he lets out a silent scream. His channel becomes impossibly tight as he cums with a shudder. Thor feels his own orgasm just out of reach and thrusts up into Loki’s clenching body a few times before he cums, coating the hot tight channel in his spunk. 

Neither moves as they pant to catch their breath. Finally, Thor shifts and pulls Loki until he is laying almost on top of Thor. The both groan as Thor’s softening member slips from Loki. They lay there, exchanging light touches and wet kisses before Thor breaks the silence, “I knew you were an Imp, just didn’t know you were a sex Imp.”

Loki sputters, “ME?! I’m not that one that wrangled two, two orgasms out of me.” 

Thor hums as he kisses Loki, not able to resist the indignant look.

“Couldn’t have made it three if you hadn’t been such a distraction.” Thor winks at Loki, loving the blush that creeps down his neck.

“Ugh! You just won’t be happy until I’m a sodden boneless mess.” 

“Nope.” Thor grins at him.

Loki huffs as he tires to hide the smile that won’t go away. Laying there he feels the pleasant aches of his body and plans how he’s going to get Thor back, later. For now, he is content to lie there and listen to the steady beat of Thor heart. Besides, Loki wants to savor this moment before reality returns and with it all his demons.


	14. Little Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is taken from the Of Monsters and Men song. 
> 
> Hey everyone,  
> Sorry for the longer than usual wait time. To make up for it have some shower smut!  
> Thank you to everyone who is reading this. Your kudos and comments are always welcomed.

Loki was sore. He was sore all over. He was sore in places he had never been sore before. And it was all Thor’s fault. At that thought Loki smiles as he uses said man as a pillow. They have been laying in comfortable silences for a few minutes now and Loki was beginning to itch as well as ache. The ache was a pleasant reminder; the itching not so much. He glances up at the clock on his side table and is shocked to see it isn’t even noon yet. He feels like it’s been eons since the movie last night. With a groan Loki rolls onto his knees and pins Thor with a look.

“Thanks to you I am sore.” Loki pouts at Thor.

"Oh? Well, how about I fix that.” Thor reaches for Loki and pulls him into a kiss.

Forgetting what he was going to say Loki gets lost in the kiss. It’s a sweet press of lips with enough tongue to be wicked. Pulling back Loki is greeted with a smug look, so he smacks Thor on the arm. Who has the audacity to laugh, then pull him into another mind melting kiss. Arrogant Jerk.

Loki pushes him away with a glare (no really, that isn’t a smile), “I was going to suggest we should wash up, I do not fancy being itchy.” 

“Mmmm… I’ll wash your back if you wash mine.”

“I find your efforts at seduction lacking,” Loki sniffs as he climbs off the bed. Thor’s laugh is rich and follows Loki as he makes his way to the bathroom. “Regardless, I guess I should be a gracious host and offer you the shower first.”

He feels Thor’s heat against his back, “I have a better idea. You go get the water started while I run to my truck. I’ll join you as soon as I get back.”

“Hum,” Loki taps his chin as he pretends to think this over, “This sounds agreeable to me. Take the keys by the door just in case. If you take too long I’m going to start without you.” He turns and gives Thor a peck on the check. Before he saunters to the bathroom, or at least he tried to before Thor lands a quick smack to his arse. Loki swallows the moan and keeps walking, completely missing the positively devious looks on Thor’s face.

^*^*^*^*

Thor runs to his truck and pulls out his over night bag. He makes it back to the apartment in record time he is sure. Almost tripping in his haste to strip, he quietly approaches the bathroom. Pausing at the door to listen; there is the sound of singing. It is all at once beautiful, heartbreaking, and sweet. 

_And at last I see the light_  
And it's like the fog has lifted  
And at last I see the light  
And it's like the sky is new  
And it's warm and real and bright  
And the world has somehow shifted  
All at once everything looks different  
Now that I see you 

Thor smiles as he recognizes the song, only Loki could make him hard singing a Disney song. 

Walking into the room he sees Loki standing under the spray, head back and eyes closed. The water run in rivers down his toned chest and flat stomach. He was a water nymph singing a siren’s song, and Thor was gladly falling under his spell. He stepped over the ledge of the open shower, he must have made some noise because Loki’s vibrant jade gaze locks on him. A deep blush staining his cheeks and crawling down his neck.

“That was fast.” Loki looks like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“Mmm. I had great motivation,” Thor moves toward Loki, “Looks like you could use some help.” He pulls the other man against him, groaning as Loki’s breath hitches as their bodies slide together. Thor runs his hands along the pale wet skin, “How about I help alleviate some of that soreness?” Picking up a bottle of body wash he pours some onto his hands. 

Loki arches an eyebrow at him, “I hope this isn’t part of a plan to get me weak kneed and messy all over again.” Loki gives Thor a bemused smile.

“I am offended that you would dare think I am such a brute. To think I was just going to aid you in washing,” Thor runs his hands over Loki’s neck and shoulders. Listening as Loki lets out a sigh he slides his hands down his chest. Loki’s sigh deepens into a whimper as Thor’s fingers dance over his nipples. He only plays with them for a moment, knowing they are still too sensitive from earlier. Thor continues his exploration of Loki. He finds he is ticklish around his navel and just behind his knees. Listening to all the breathy sighs and gasps Thor takes his time as he familiarizes himself with every inch of Loki’s body. He lavishes licks and kisses to the scars he finds on his back. When he comes across the faded burn marks on the back of his arms Thor makes sure to keep his touch from becoming too rough with his anger. How dare someone inflect such pain on _His Loki_. He trails his hands up and down long legs, before standing back up. Purposefully avoiding the one place he wanted to visit the most Thor pulls Loki back under the water to rinse him off, pretending to ignore Loki’s frustrated growls. 

Meeting his eyes Thor smirks as he finally lets his hands roam over Loki’s pelvis and ass. Loki is almost sobbing by the time Thor finally cups his member while sliding a finger around his tender rim. It doesn’t take more than a few firm strokes of his prick before Loki is crying out his release. Clinging to Thor as he tries to regain his balance Loki pulls Thor into a messy kiss.

As the kiss deepens Thor feels Loki snake a hand around his shaft as the other palms his sack. He feels light headed as Loki begins to massage and knead his balls, running a finger just behind them. Thor has he pull away from the kiss as he pants. Loki is grinning at him as he gives a light tug to Thor’s sack just as he rubs a thumb over his slit. Thor feels himself close, then Loki kneels and takes Thor into his mouth. He swirls and licks around the crown before taking it fulling into his mouth. Thor must hold himself up against the wall, between the sucking wet heat and the sight before him doesn’t stand a chance. He tries to warn Loki, tries to pull away. Loki just grips his hips and moans around his mouthful. That does it for Thor and he is shouting as he cums down Loki’s throat.

It takes a moment for Thor to catch his breath and the blood to return to his head. He helps Loki stand, and gathers him close to kiss him breathless, “Imp, you tempt me so. At least it wasn’t messy.”

Loki slaps him on the arm again as he buries his head in Thor’s neck, “Brute. Do you think we can dry off without it ending in sex?”

Thor runs his hand down Loki’s back and he shuts off the water, “Well, I guess that depends.”

“Uh huh …. Dare I ask, on what?”

“How absorbent are your towels?” Thor can’t help the leer he gives Loki or the deep laugh at Loki’s look of bemused annoyance. 

*^*^*^*^

Thor is in the kitchen cleaning up the breakfast dishes when Loki finds him. He takes a moment to admire Thor’s firm arms and backside, gathering up his courage to approach Thor. Loki wanted to put off this conversation, indefinitely, but knew he couldn’t put if off any longer; especially if he wanted to make a go at this with Thor.

“You can leave that for now.,” Loki quietly tells Thor, “I was thinking we could go for a walk. It might be one of the last nice days for some time.” Loki leans against the counter appearing at ease.

Thor wasn’t fooled, he could practically feel the tension coming off Loki. The other man was avoiding eye contact while he fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. Deciding to go along with Loki’s façade Thor wiped his hands on a dish towel before taking Loki’s hand, “Sure, why don’t we go to the park?” Loki give him a small smile and nods his head, grabbing coats they leave the apartment.

They walk in silence as they head toward the park. It seems everyone had the same idea about enjoying the mild weather and sunshine. Loki slips his finders into Thor’s as they enter the park. There are less people in the park than Thor thought there’d be. It was quiet, a nice change from the busy streets surrounding the area. This would be a great place for outdoor date, Thor mused. 

They walked until they came to a small pond. There was a bench under a few trees that looked secluded enough for their needs. Sitting down Thor looks ahead not wanting to make Loki feel pressured into talking. Loki shifts closer, settling himself against Thor’s side. Thor smiles as he wraps an arm around the other man, content to wait. 

He doesn’t have long to wait as Loki lets out a sigh, “For all my charisma and verbal dexterity, I am not sure how to begin.”

Thor doesn’t say anything, giving Loki time to find the words.

“I’m going to share with you something only a few people know, and I need you to just listen. If I stop I won’t be able to continue.”

Thor takes Loki’s hand and gives it a squeeze, “I won’t interrupt, you have my word.”

“My therapist would say start at the beginning, and since she’s a well-paid doctor I might as well listen,” Loki pauses and lays his head back against Thor’s shoulder. “You already know that my mom left when I was about five, and my father was neglectful. Well, he was also an abusive drunk.” 

Thor begins to run his fingers through Loki’s hair, trying to offer some comfort. 

“When he wasn’t drinking it was as if I didn’t exist. Didn’t matter what I did, and I thought that was the worst thing ever until the beatings started. He would seek me out and drag me to the basement for some _bonding_ time; he said it was to toughen me up. It got worse as I got older and started to visit with my grandmother. He thought I was already too _girly_ and hated how my grandmother taught me ‘lady-bullshit’. Always fearing I’d tell, he used to threaten me with her death. I learned not to fight back, he’d only come up with new ways to inflict pain. I learned how to hide bruises and found ways to stay out of the house. Once I graduated and got accepted into college I never went back.”

Loki pauses to clear his throat, he swipes at his eyes angrily. 

“It was great to be free of him, and I found myself finally able to live my life without constantly being afraid. I did the typical college stuff, friends, parties, booze, hook-ups … falling in love,” Loki lets out a small snort. “Of course, looking back I knew it was just a need for comfort and lust. I thought he hung the stars and he thought I was good for a quickie. I was so desperate for love that I stayed with him even though I knew he was using me. I thought he would eventually come around, and probably would have stayed with him if Tony hadn’t knocked some sense into me.”

Loki shifts and leans over, he tenses up before letting out a deep breath, “Anyway, I met who I thought was the prefect man my final year of college. He was charming, intelligent, caring, and it didn’t hurt he was also a doctor; I didn’t even care that he was fifteen years older than me. It just seemed to add to the appeal, he was already established and knew what he wanted. I was so in love that I ignored all the signs, and then he had his accident.” Loki’s voice is barely above a whisper at the end. The tears he’s been holding back spill over as he looks at Thor for the first time since starting, “It’s been three years since I finally left him and it’s like he’s still controlling my life,” Loki stares at Thor for a moment, seemingly trying to read his soul before he suddenly turns his back to him. “I think that is enough for one monologue, don’t you?” 

Loki moves to stand up, but is stopped by Thor’s hand on his arm, “Don’t shut me out now.” He links their hands, “Knowing all this doesn’t change how I feel about you. It just helps me understand you better.” Thor tries to lighten the mood, “Besides now I know the real reason why Natasha sent me so many threatening emails.”

Loki sputters out a laugh as he meets Thor’s eyes, “If she’s sent less than 20 that means she likes you.”

“Oh good, I’m only on number 18.” Thor watches as Loki’s eyes seem to once again shine with happiness instead of anguish. Reaching over he wipes a tear away with his thumb, “Thank you for sharing this with me. Know that I will always respect you and your wishes.”

Loki doesn’t know how to respond to this, feeling raw but oddly lighter he gives Thor a shaky nod.

“You know what we need?” Thor asks in a light tone.

Loki cocks an eyebrow at him in question.

“Hot chocolate and Disney movies.” Thor grins at him with an annoying twinkle in his eyes.

Loki grumbles as he hides his head in his hands mumbling, “Not sure what is worse that you caught me singing it, or that you know where the song is from.”

Thor pries his hands away as he pulls them to their feet, “Oh, I’d say the worse part is now I need to find another song to use as I serenade you. How do you feel about Beauty and the Beast?”

Gracing him with a glare Loki replies, “Well since I’m dating a beast it seems oddly fitting.”

“Imp. You know for a fact that I am the beauty.” Thor tells him with such a deadpan tone Loki can’t help but laugh as they start their walk together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Loki sings is from Tangled. I just love the idea that he sings Disney songs in the shower.  
> Anyways, we shall meet Wanda in the next chapter and learn more about Loki's last relationship.


	15. Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives more insight into Loki's past and mindset.
> 
> Thank you to everyone reading this.   
> Enjoy!

Wednesday morning finds Loki nervously pacing the waiting area of Dr. Wanda Maximoff. Although, everyone calls her Wanda at her request. He manages to be early for the appointment by a few minutes, resulting in his desire to flee. It has been close to a year since he last saw the psychologist and his last appointment had not gone well. The main reason was that Loki had decided he was healthy enough to no longer need therapy. Wanda had for the first time in his memory raised her voice and argued with him. He thought her annoyance was at losing a paying client, but now he realizes she had been right all along. She had warned him that if any changes occurred in his life he could very well relapse. At least she was probably professional enough to not blatantly say “told you so”. 

Loki checks his phone and sees he has three missed text messages, it seems Natasha, Thor, and Tony were all checking up on him. Natasha and Tony both knew about his appointment and were probably making sure he didn’t pull a runner. As of yet he hadn’t told Thor about it. They hadn’t seen one another since Saturday evening when Thor left his apartment. Only exchanging texts and calls since then, most of which were almost terse on Loki’s part. Loki was hesitant to see the him again, he didn’t want Thor to know how damaged Loki really was.

“Loki, so good to see you again.” Wanda’s softly accented voice was light and immediately made Loki look up at her. 

Putting his phone away without checking the messages Loki walked over to the slight red-head entering her office. Wanda was dressed in a flowing black shirt and red pants with black boots. She was a usually quiet woman with a glaze that bore into a person’s very soul. Her blue eyes seemed to take in everything. Many of their sessions Wanda would let Loki sit in unyielding silence only speaking during the last few minutes; and yet she always knew what to say to get Loki thinking. 

He office was a contrast to the woman, where she seemed to prefer reds and blacks her office was done in shades of blues and greens. There were two plush light blue chairs and a cream coloured love seat for patients to choose from. Wanda had told Loki on their first meeting she wanted people to feel at ease in her office. Loki eventually learned that Wanda purposely sat last to ensure her clients had to make a decision, no matter how minor.

Wanda specialized in therapy for people with anxiety disorders especially PTSD, OCD, and eating disorders. None of which really applied to Loki (if you were to ask him). He only started seeing Wanda when Natasha give him the ultimatum of seeing a therapist or she would find a treatment center for him. He almost ignored her until Tony took him aside and gave him the same speech. So, he went and found himself hating it and Wanda from the beginning.

For someone who was a master at weaving words and charming people, Wanda was immune to him. She also pushed him in ways he found unsettling, and never could figure out how. He learned to eventually trust her and her methods, and found his nightmares lessening and his episodes almost nonexistent. So, he quit therapy, much to her vehement protests. Eventually she told him her door would be open to him when he needed it again. _When_. He should have listened. 

“Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.” Loki sat down in the chair that faced the window (and the clock).

“You know I will always make room in my schedule for any of my clients.” Wanda called them her clients, giving another illusion of choice, “How are you, Loki?” She gave him her small smile, one that made Loki both want to tell her everything and scream at her.

“I’ve meet someone,” He might as well tell her everything. “We’ve been seeing one another for two weeks now.” Loki tries not to fidget as he waits for Wanda’s reply.

Wanda for her part doesn’t say anything right away. She takes in Loki’s appearance and body language, he’s not on the edge of his seat ready to bolt but it’s close.

“This is your first relationship since Stephen.” It is not a question, “Who’s decision was it for you to begin therapy again?” 

Loki is caught off guard by this question, “Mine.”

Wanda gives him a bright smile, “Good.” Loki feels himself relax in the chair as she continues, “Why don’t you catch me up with how things are going and tell me about your new person.”

It is funny sometimes how Wanda phrases things, his new person, he wondered how often these phrases are language differences or intentional.

“Work is about the same. I have a new divorce case that might be lengthy but so far, they’ve been amicable. Jarvis has taken over planning the Halloween party and I worry Tony is going to fire him from sheer frustration. Natasha and Bruce are still dancing around each other,” Loki pauses, he knows that sharing this next bit of information will make it real. He won’t be able to pretend anymore, “I met Thor at a bar. Work was rough that week so we all decided to have some down time. I literally ran into the man, and he gave me his number.” Loki chuckles at the memory, a smile forming, “Since then we’ve been on a few dates and …. He stayed over one night.”

The room is quiet, the only sound is from the overhead fan. Loki gives into his need for movement and begins to tap his foot. When Wanda still doesn’t say anything, Loki gives up and begins to pace as he talks, “I had a nightmare, a vivid one. It was horrible, they were all there like some fucked-up timeline. I woke up to Thor, he didn’t seem freaked out at all. More worried than anything … worried about me. He didn’t force me to talk and just held me after,” Loki stops his pacing to look at Wanda, she gives him a small nod. 

“That morning I felt it happening. I knew that I had to make sure he stayed, that he was pleased with me. There was a part of me that knew it was stupid and I should stop, but I couldn’t.” Loki stops behind the chair, getting his thoughts together, “Thor found me in the kitchen and he saved me. I don’t think he realizes what he did, how he stopped my spiral. I ended up cutting myself, something Stephen would have punished me for,” Loki’s voice is small, “but Thor made me stop and took care of the cut. He wouldn’t let me back in the kitchen, and he made breakfast for the both of us.”

Loki stops his pacing and returns to the chair. Wanda regards him for a moment longer, before she inquires, “How much does he know?”

“The basics,” Wanda gives him _the look_ , the one that tells him he’s better off being truthful, “I told him about Laufeyson and hinted at my sordid history.” Loki tells her with an annoyed sigh.

“You didn’t tell him about Stephen.” Again, it isn’t a question.

“I told him what I though he needed to know. He doesn’t need to be burdened with the knowledge that my ex manipulated and tortured me until I would punish myself, so HE WOULDN’T HAVE TO!” Loki shouts this last part at her, not sure if he is hoping for a reaction or not.

Either way he doesn’t get one, he never has, Wanda doesn’t even flinch, “You’d rather he worries about you?”

Loki deflates at her questions, Damn her. He shrugs his shoulders trying for nonchalant, “I’d rather it not be an issue at all. He is just about the perfect guy, so why is this all happening again?” Loki asks her, practically pleading her to for once just give him the answer.

“How is the sex?” Her face betrays nothing as she calmly regards him, Damn Her.

“It’s fine …. Good … oh hell it’s the best sex I’ve ever had.” Loki runs a hand over his face, “He’s so attentive, it’s like he gets off on my pleasure, and he’s so damn smug about it too.” Loki feels his cheeks heating up, “It’s so different than what I’ve always know ….” He stops and realizes what he said, “It’s so different,” he repeats almost to himself.

“So, Thor is a conscientious and giving lover, that isn’t surprising given what you’ve told me. How did you feel after he stopped you in the kitchen?”

“At first I was so panicked, I thought he was going to leave.”

“And how did you feel once he made you eat?”

Loki rubs at his arms, “I was so mad at him. He wasn’t letting me punish myself, but then after I felt such relief when he smiled at me as I ate.”

“It sounds like he wants take care of you regardless of the situation, wouldn’t you agree?” She doesn’t wait for him to respond, “Which is in direct conflict with what Stephen forced you to believe.” She gives Loki another look, as he is about to argue, “Loki, we are far beyond you pretending what Stephen did was right. You admitted yourself he was manipulative and abusive, he took your trust and backhanded you for it.” Loki is shocked at her fierce voice, she continues in the same tone, “Now, I think you know what you need to do.”

“You’re not going to tell me to start journaling again?” He isn’t whining, he isn’t!

“No, and petulant is not a good look on you.” She arches an eyebrow at him as he sighs, “That would be if we didn’t know the behaviors and triggers; and you’ve already identified both of those.”

Loki gives her an incredulous look and she graces him with a quiet laugh. “What is so different with Thor from all the other relationships?” She waits as Loki picks through what they discussed and his interactions with Thor.

“It’s his worry and care. He wants me to be happy and he focuses on me.” Loki stares at Wonda is disbelief, “He’s constantly making sure I consent to everything … and I think he would actually stop if I said anything.”

“You are beginning to trust him.”

“Yes, I think I am.” Loki smiles.

“Then you need to tell him.” Loki blanches at her statement. 

“Shouldn’t we get to know each other first?” 

“How is he to know how best to help you if you leave half the story unfinished? How are you to fully trust him if you can’t be completely honest?”

“What if telling him makes my have another episode?” This is Loki’s greatest fear, Thor seeing him at his weakest.

“It might, I can’t promise you it won’t. They have always been the result of your need to punish yourself while seeking another’s approval. Telling Thor will make sure he knows what to expect if one does occur, he might even be able to help again.”

“Arg! And what if he leaves me?! I tell him everything and he runs. What then?!”

Wanda regards him with something as close to annoyance as she’ll ever get, “Loki, you are talking about someone who has comforted you and didn’t run away when you told him about your father. Even if Thor does end up leaving, you are strong enough on your own. Once more you’ve sought out help instead of burying all this, you came to me because you want to make this work with this man, yes?

Loki mutters a yes at her, damn her.

“Good, now it would be best if you begin weekly sessions again. If you’d like, and this is up to you, you may bring Thor here to talk to him. I will only be here for moral support, unless you need otherwise.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“I will schedule you in for next Wednesday. Same time?”

“Yeah, that works, Natasha is going to be so pleased.” Loki grumbles as he gets ready to leave.

“One more thing.” Wanda tells him with a hard look on her face, “Let yourself be loved.”

She walked him to the main door and gave his arm a light squeeze as he leaves. Loki grouses a bit, as he gets in his car. Taking out his phone to look over his missed messages. One from Tony, about an after-work Bromance evening … dear Norns. Two from Nat, one telling him to come see her after his appointment and the other to warn him about Tony. One from Thor asking him what time he took lunch. Checking his watch, he sees he still has a few hours before his next client. Deciding he needs a break after his session he quick texts Thor to see where he was currently. He gets an almost immediate reply: Bored at the bar. Smiling, Loki lets Nat and Tony know he would be out of the office a bit longer and heads toward Thor’s bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poison's Fun Facts:  
> 1\. In my RL the acronym CBT = cognitive-behavioral theory and in fandom CBT= Cock/Ball Torture. Just picture all the awkward mental thoughts that can occur when I let my mind wonder in RL.   
> 2\. I actually adore Dr. Strange, but his personality is perfect for being the bad guy. So in this fic he is scum. Going to give every Dr. S fan a big "I'm Sorry!" now. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated!


	16. Ways We Hurt Ourselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part one of the two part reveal.   
> Thank you everyone for the Kudos and comments!!   
> Enjoy!

Traffic was practically non-existent as Loki made his way over to Thor’s bar, Mjolnir. He was thinking over what Wanda had said, her parting words made his skin itch. Let himself be loved? Where did she come up with that shite? There was plenty of love in his life. He had … well … he had Frick and Frack, Natasha, Tony … hell even Bruce and Jarvis could be part of his circle. So, of course he was letting himself be loved - Damn. His little group consisted of his cats and co-workers, although points for them being friends first. Right? Let himself be loved … That woman is an evil witch. 

Feeling the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel Loki heaved a sigh instead as he turned off the engine. He looked at the bar in front of him, noticing the closed sign. Suddenly he feels foolish for coming to see Thor. He hadn’t actually told him he was coming over. On top of that he’s been practically avoiding him since Saturday. 

::WHACK::

“EEK!”

Loki lets out an undignified yelp (squeak) as someone banged on his window. Thankfully he didn’t hit his head as he jumped. Trying to remember how to breath, Loki turns to see the perky bartender from the first night. He attempts to give a glare as she snickers at him and motions for him to get out of the car.

“I thought that was you! I’m so glad you are here; you can go cheer up the boss man. He’s been a bear recently, all grr and no cuddle.”

“Thor doesn’t have enough body hair to be consider a bear,” Loki smirks as Darcy rolls her eyes, “Do you know if he is currently busy?”

“Nope! He’s hanging around until his gym date with Steve. He typically isn’t here Wednesdays, but he seems like he needed the company. Since for whatever reason he’s decided not to go bug Steve. Come on, you can entertain him so the rest of us can get some prep done.”

She grabs his arm and pulls him with her toward the bar, not giving him a chance to argue. Entering the building it is brighter than the first night, everything seems to be tidy and the bar itself is gleaming under the bright lights. The atmosphere is welcoming, well it was until a thunder storm named Thor enters the room from a back hallway. He stalks into the room seeming to take up all the available space, appearing taller and broader. He dressed in all black with his hair partly clasped back, which does nothing to hide the annoyance on his face. Even though he is danger personified Loki still finds himself smiling as he watches the man. 

Thor stops in his tracks when he finally notices Loki standing in the doorway. A smile slowly lights up his face, replacing the scowl. All at once it is as if someone hit a switch and Thor is back to his typical jovial self. Not stopping as he approaches Loki, taking him into his arms. Loki isn’t given a chance to say anything before he is pulled into a spine-tingling kiss. He feels all tension leave the other man as the kiss deepens, and Loki melts into him. Only separating when air becomes an issue, they slowly part and everything falls away as they lock eyes. 

“AH HEM! Cough!” Until Darcy ruins the moment.

“Darcy go help Nathan.” Thor growls at her without looking away from Loki.

“Yup! On it.” Darcy runs off before Thor can fire her.

Loki arches an eyebrow at Thor, “Rough morning?”

“Not anymore,” He gives Loki a roguish smile.” Although, I could ask you the same thing,” Thor tucks a piece of hair behind Loki’s ear, causing Loki to blush, “Haven’t heard from you all morning, then you show up here. Something happen?”

Loki groans as he pressed his forehead into Thor’s shoulder. His voice is soft as he replies, “Yes, do you mind if we don’t talk about it here?”

Thor is quiet as he lifts Loki’s chin up to search his face, his expression is worried with a touch of intrigue. Loki’s not sure if he saw what he was looking for as Thor guides him down the back hallway. There is noise from the kitchen and serving area, but as they enter what must be Thor’s office all is silent as the door is closed. 

The office is small but not cramped. There is a modest desk and two chairs along the side wall. The desk has a laptop and a few ledgers scattered across it’s top. On the other side of the desk is a filing cabinet with a few pictures on top. The walls have shelving with books, trophies, and photographs. Another time Loki would love to look though the office to learn more about Thor, but not is not the time. He sits down in one of the chairs as Thor takes the other. 

Loki is tempted to fidget, nerves not quite recovered from his session. There seems to be a weight to the air as Loki fights the sudden urge to run. He hears the blood rushing in his ears and his chest feels tight. Thor is saying something, but the words aren’t making sense. There are dark spots floating in his visions. Then there is movement he can’t quite follow, sounds fade in and out. He feels himself falling, as the world blacks out.

“I’ve got you. You’re save here. No one will bother you. Come on Loki, I need you to breathe for me.” 

The voice is soft but firm, so soothing that Loki can’t help but listen to it. He finds himself stretched out along the floor, resting against a warm solid weight. Thor has his arms loosely wrapped around Loki, running his hands up and down his arms. Loki shifts and presses his face into Thor’s neck, taking comfort in his familiar scent, something earthy with a hint of spice.

He swallows a few times finding his throat dry, “I’m okay.” 

“Like hell you are.” Thor doesn’t raise his voice but that doesn’t take away from the anger lacing his words, “You just passed out from what appeared to be a panic attack. This after you come in looking like death is stalking you.” He lets out a sigh and continues in a calmer tone, “I figured you needed some time after everything this weekend, but Loki you can’t do this to yourself.”

Loki feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He moves to stand up but finds his body is not cooperating, his limbs feel like lead. He needs to get away, he needs to stop being such a disappointment, he needs to fix this. He struggles, trying to get away so he can make it better. Tears form in his eyes as he can’t make his body work. Strong arms shift him until he is facing Thor.

“NO! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll do better. Please!” Loki cringes as the tears begin to fall, he shrinks into himself preparing for what’s to come next.

“Loki! Loki look at me!” Thor’s voice is demanding, and Loki cannot ignore it. Loki looks up into sky blue eyes … blue not grey. 

Loki touches Thor’s neck, making sure he is real. Letting out a soft sob Loki buries himself into Thor’s chest whispering, “you’re not him. You’re not him. Thor, you’re Thor.”

Sitting on his office floor with Loki clinging to him, Thor is at a loss as to what to do. He knows what he would like to do, take Loki home and let the him calm down in peace. The problem is not knowing what set off the panic attack and if a new environment would help or hinder. There is also the problem of if Loki would agree with taking the rest of the day off. Not to mention letting Loki’s partners know he wouldn’t be returning. Mentally saying screw it, Thor gathers Loki in his arms, finding the other man much too light. That is a concern for another time. 

Thor talks to Loki as he leaves the office and makes his way to his truck. He has never been so grateful of having a parking lot away from the busy street. Loki doesn’t say much as Thor maneuvers him into his truck. The only sign that Loki is still awake is his struggle as Thor leaves him. Once Thor is seated behind the wheel Loki quiets again, he has a hand on Thor’s arm. The dive to Loki’s place is uneventful. Once they get to his building Loki seems to be more like himself, he gets out of the truck on his own and walks with Thor into the building. 

They enter his apartment and are greeting by the twin terrors. Loki leans down and talks to the cats as they greet one another. He straitens and addresses Thor, “I saw my therapist today, and a lot of things I try to forget were brought up.” Loki walks over to the couch and sits down, patting the seat next to him, “I was hoping that between our talk on Saturday and starting therapy again I wouldn’t be such a mess.” Loki feels his face heating up as he turns away from Thor.

“Hey, none of that.” Thor takes his hand not letting him move away.

“How can you be so calm with all of this?!” Loki flings himself away from Thor, his sudden anger makes him sick to his stomach, “Why? Why are you still here Thor? Is it pity? Oh, poor Loki, so fucked up in the head. Bet he’ll make an easy lay, so desperate for it.” Loki’s words fall like acid from his lips. 

“ENOUGH!” Thor shouts as he grabs Loki’s arm stopping his pacing. “That’s enough.” He takes in the agony itched on Loki’s face, the stiff posture, and the pleading look in his eyes. Thor pulls Loki into his arms, knowing that physical contact will be more affirming than his words right now. 

“I’m not going to let you belittle yourself like that. Yell and scream at me all you want, but you will not demean yourself anymore.” Thor runs his fingers through Loki’s hair, “Understand?”

Loki lets out a shaky breath and nods. Thor tightens his hold for a moment and Loki feels the world settle around them, for the first time since waking up he feels like himself. He finds all his anger and fear gone and instead he’s tired, so tried. The emotional turmoil of the day catching up to him. It feels like the only reason he is still standing is because Thor is wrapped around him. 

Thor can feel the strain leave Loki, and the other man struggling to stay on his feet. Guiding the other man to the bedroom Thor sets Loki on the bed and kneels to take off his shoes and tie. He can see Loki is fighting to keep his eyes open as the he lays down. A hand grabs him as he moves to close the blinds.

“Don’t go. Please stay.” Loki looks so tiny in the bed, his eyes glowing in the afternoon sun.

“I’m just going to shut the curtains. I’ll be right back.” Thor squeezes his hand before stepping away. He returns to the bed and crawls in, Loki shifts until he is wrapped around Thor, who is only too happy to help.


	17. Slices of a Life Unfinished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****WARNING******  
> This chapter depicts scenes of emotional/psychological abuse. There is also some non-con toward the end. If you do not want to read that part than skip over the scene that starts with ~~~~~~~~~~~~++++++++.  
> So ... yeah ... this took a very dark turn. It is quite long compared to previous chapters. 
> 
> I tried something different with this chapter. Instead of Loki telling Thor about his relationship, I set it up in a series of moments of his time with the good doctor. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading this! Thank you for all the kudos and comments!  
> Enjoy!

Loki is asleep almost as soon as he gets situated. Thor isn’t tired in the least. Still, he doesn’t want to leave the other man; fearing another nightmare or worse. Trying not to move too much Thor pulls his phone out of his pocket, might as well contact everyone. Making sure it was on silent Thor set about texting everyone about work and what not. Starting with the person least likely to rage: Steve 

T- Not going to make it to the gym today.  
S- The bar will be okay without you. Darcy hasn’t burned it down yet.  
T- Ha yeah. I’m with Loki  
S - Leaving work for some nooky nice ;P  
T - Not exactly … …  
S-??  
T- Don’t want to get into it now, but I might be here for a while.  
T- Can you check on the bar for me tonight?  
S- Sure man, whatever you need.  
T- Thanks

One down and one to go. Thor had Natasha’s number, he was to text her in case of emergencies. She had taken his from Loki’s phone and made sure Thor knew she had it and would use it to hunt him down if anything happened to Loki. As of yet, Thor hadn’t had any reason to contact her, thankfully, and he was only 80% sure she wouldn’t kill him for today.

T- Hey Loki needs the rest of the day off.  
N- What happened? Is he okay?  
T- He had a panic attack earlier and I brought him home to rest  
N- Fuck Odinson. If I wasn’t so busy I’d be over there.  
N- Tony would make things worse. I take it you can’t talk right now.  
T- No. Loki is sleeping  
T- Which he probably needs right now.  
N- Fine. You know where he was today?  
T- Therapy?  
N- So you know about his past.  
T- What he has shared with me.  
N- Damn that man. Did you tell you about Strange?  
T- His ex?  
N- Look, I’m due in court in 5. you will call me if anything else happens.  
T- Yeah sure  
N- You better take care of him.  
T- He is too important not to.  
N- I’m beginning to like you Odinson. Don’t ruin it.

That went better than expected. Tossing his phone on the bed Thor watches as Frick and Frack hop on the bed and walk up his legs. They are climbing over Loki and Thor is about to move them, so as not to wake him, when Loki speaks.

“They must like you to be on the bed while you’re here.” Loki shifts and sits up with Thor.

“Here I thought we were already friends, I fed you two and everything,” he gives the cats a disappointed look as he scratches Frick. He turns his focus back to Loki, “How are you feeling?” 

“Drained, blasé, sore, and more than a tad self-conscious,” Loki lays his head on Thor’s chest. “It’s been a long time since I had one of those. Sorry you had to see that.”

Thor stops petting Frick to run his hand along Loki’s back, “There is nothing to apologize for, from what I’ve gathered it was an intense session.”

Loki lets out a sigh and rubs his check against the soft cotton shirt, “That’s the thing. It wasn’t. We kinda talked about you.”

“Oh really? Not sure that bodes well for me if this was the reactions.” Thor tries for a teasing tone but the sick worry he feels seeps into his voice.

Loki sits up and looks at him, “Not like that!” He bites his lip and lowers his gaze, “She wanted me to be honest with you. Completely honest.” Loki picks at a finger nail, he doesn’t meet Thor’s eyes as he continues, “You’re the first person I’ve been with since my ex. It’s been 3 years and I thought it was all behind me.”

As Loki talks Thor takes his hand in his own, “You do not have to talk about this now.”

“No, I want to. I think that if … that if I can just get it all out then maybe it won’t be so overwhelming. Do you know what I mean?”

Loki’s voice is firm at the end, and when he meets Thor’s eyes his are clear and determined. 

“Alright then, but I’m stopping you if it looks to be too much.”

Thor smiles as Loki rolls his eyes and grumbles. “Yes sir.”

Which is probably the most enticing thing Thor has ever heard. Mentally chastising himself for having poorly timed lusty thoughts, he gives his full attention to Loki. Although, he files the thoughts away for later. 

“I say we move to the table, this might take a while and I’d like to have some liquid courage.”

Running his eyes over Loki; taking in the dark circles, the pinched and pale face, and his intense eyes Thor agrees a drink might help. 

They get situated at the table with a bottle of wine and a pitcher of water (Thor insisted) with a plate of crackers. Loki fiddles with his wine glass until Thor takes his hand. Letting out a breath Loki begins. He tells Thor all the sordid details of his relationship with Dr. Stephen Strange.

*^*^*^*^

The rich laugh is the first thing Loki notices. He hears it over the din of the crowd and instantly looks around for it’s source. Unable to pinpoint the source he turns back to listen as Tony pretends he knows anything about art. Later as he is studying one of the paintings alone a man appears next to him.

“Exquisite.” His voice is deep and cultured.

“Mmm. Not sure I’d go that far, it seems rather rushed.” 

“I wasn’t talking about the art.”

+++++++++

A warm spring day finds Loki walking through an outdoor café. It is full of people chatting and enjoying the weather, about to call it a loss Loki smiles as he hears his name from the far side of the enclosed area. As he approaches he notices there is already two cups on the table.

“Hello Gorgeous.” The other man gets up and places a kiss on Loki’s cheek before guiding him to the other seat at the table, he doesn’t let go of Loki’s hand. “I thought after the week you’ve had it would be nice for you to see the outside world. I got you a green tea.”

“Oh! thank you, but I was thinking of a frozen mocha.”

The other man frowns at Loki who quickly continues, “but it was so sweet of you to get me a tea.” Loki takes a sip and the bitter tea almost burns him.

“You’d live off of those horrid coffees if I wasn’t here to make sure you properly took care of yourself.”

Loki blushes at Stephens words and the light touches of his thumb on the back of his hand.

+++++++++

L- Hey, Stephen is going to be home early and wants to take me out.  
TS- Seriously?! This is the fourth time you’re cancelling on me.  
L- No it’s not. We hung out last week.  
TS- Yeah at your house with Dr. No  
TS- that man wouldn’t even let you drink!  
L- He just worries about me  
TS- uh huh. Is that why you’ve been skipping meals?  
L- You know how busy this time of year is … for all of us!  
L-Besides you’re one to talk mr smoothie  
TS-Ice I love you like a brother and I’m telling you that man is no good  
L- You sound like a broken record  
TS-Not just me, Natasha and Bruce are worried too.  
TS-Come on man. You are way too good for this shite.  
TS-Someone else will accept you and your screwy fucked up past  
L- I’ll see you tomorrow at work  
TS- Damn it Ice! We’re just worried about you

+++++++++

The smell of coconut and salt are heavy on the air. The stars and moon are the only sources of light and with the night breeze cool against his heated flesh Loki is content. Even with his painfully sunburned torso Loki is loving his weekend away. He hears Stephen approaching from the condo. Jumping slightly as cool gel cover hands rub over his shoulders. Loki groans as the sting ebbs, it was amazing to have a doctor for a boyfriend.

“Next time you will listen when I tell you to go back inside.”

“You can be so bossy. OUCH!” Loki startles at the pinch to his sunburned back.

“If you weren’t so stubborn and foolish I wouldn’t have to direct you.”

Loki hums in reply. He regrets it immediately as the cool hands leave his back. He turns to look at Stephen with an arched brow.

“If you are stupid enough to get sunburned, then it would seem you need the reminder not to allow it to happen again.”

“Stephen wait. I was only joking!” Loki tries to take his hand, but Stephen is too quick and turns to walk away.

“I’m turning in for the night.” Stephen stops and seems to consider Loki, “Go wash up and then you can apologize properly to me.”

Loki only nods he’s agreement; not wanting to upset Stephen more. Just when he’s about to follow Stephen back inside he stops as Stephen begins to speak.

“Oh and Loki?” There is a glint in his eyes that makes Loki’s stomach clinch, “Make sure you’re not going to make a _mess_ in the bed before you leave the bathroom. I’d hate for you to have to sleep in a wet spot again.”

+++++++++

Perfect. Everything must be perfect. This must be a perfect dinner. 

Loki stands at the counter chopping up vegetables into equal sized pieces. He’s been at it for over an hour. Making sure every aspect of the meal would be ‘just right’. It was a big night. They were having people over to celebrate Stephen getting the head of Neurosurgery. It all needed to be ready by the time Stephen got home. Loki was so focused he sliced through his thumb, ruining the carrots he was chopping. Looking at the growing red puddle in horror Loki froze as he heard the front door open. 

“MMmm something smells good,” Stephen walks into the kitchen and kisses Loki on the back of his neck before he looks at what has Loki so enrapt. “What happened here?”

His mouth too dry and his hand throbbing Loki quietly replies, “I nicked my thumb. I’ll clean it up! I will have to run out for more carrots though.” Grabbing paper towels Loki set to cleaning up the blood and vegetables.

“Don’t worry about it, your working really hard.” Stephen nuzzles into Loki’s neck, “besides I should pick up another bottle or two of wine for our guests.”  
Loki can only nod in agreement. 

“You’ll just have to make it up to me later.” Stephen leaves Loki to his cleaning and heads out the door.

+++++++++

The hospital smelled of strongly of cleaner, which does nothing for the underlying scent of sick. Running through the halls Loki tried to remain calm as he neared the room. After Stephen left to pick up more produce and wine Loki continued with the meal. He became worried as it got late and there was still no sign of Stephen’s return. Then just before the guests were to arrive the phone rang. 

There had been an accident. Stephen was alive but in critical condition. Dropping the phone in his rush to get to the hospital Loki didn’t hear the rest, he didn’t hear anything other than the rushing in his ears. The roads were a mess after the storm, branches and other debris littered the streets.

Stepping into the ICU room Loki held his breath as he took in the sight of Stephen so pale and small under the harsh lights. There was tubing and wires everywhere, machines beeped and hummed. Shaking as he approached the bed Loki saw that his hands were heavily bandaged, and his left eye was covered. A chocked sob escaped him as he stood staring.

“Ugh, Loki?” The voice is tight and sounds so small. 

“Stephen! You’re awake!” Loki reaches to grab his hand but stops himself before he caused more injury to the damaged appendage. 

“What happened? Where am I?” Stephen starts to sit up, but Loki places a hand on his chest.

“You need to lay back. You’ve been in an accident and are in the hospital, but don’t worry they say you are going to make a full recovery.” Loki keeps his hand on Stephen’s chest afraid to touch him anywhere else. He watches as emotions flit over his face, shock, worry, fear, recognition, and finally anger.

“YOU!!” Stephen suddenly shouts, causing Loki to jump back, “This is all your fucking fault! Couldn’t even cut up the goddamn vegetables without messing it up.”

“Stephen, I would have gone instead!” 

“Oh sure, didn’t tell me that earlier, did you? Oh no, just stood there looking pathetic and needed me to take care of you, as usual.”

Loki is shaking his head, trying to stop the tears as he listens to Stephen spew such venom.

“NOW look at me! LOOK AT ME!!” Stephen holds up his hands and thrusts him out at Loki, the machines letting out a shrill beep, “Oh don’t you fucking cry. I’m the one who should be crying. You. You have a lot to make up for.”

Stephen lays back down and close his eyes as they hear people running to the room. Loki moves to the back corner as he watches the nurses check him over. He has so much to make up for … so much.

+++++++++

Loki lays on his side listening to the deep breathing of the man next to him. The bitter aftertaste of Stephen’s release is starting to make him feel ill and he desperately wants to curl up with the sleeping man. Wishing Stephen would hold him after being ignored for most of the week, Loki shifts trying to get comfortable. It was his own fault, forgetting to pick up a gift for the dinner party at Stephen’s department head’s house. 

“It is entirely too late for you to still be up. We both have early mornings and your restlessness is now keeping me up as well.” Stephen rolls over and runs a hand over Loki’s cheek, “Go get a pill and some water.” 

Loki hates the pills, they leave him feeling numb the next day, but Stephen says he needs them to get enough sleep. Doing as he is told Loki returns to the bed to find Stephen still awake. He holds up the covers for Loki and pulls him close as they lay down. Loki snuggles into Stephen enjoying the closeness that has been lacking all week.

“Now sleep, or else you’ll be moved to the floor.”

“Sorry Stephen.” Loki lays perfectly still as he listens to Stephen’s breathing even out again. He fights the clawing darkness that swarms him, heart pounding as he feels the pill takes hold and pulls him under. 

+++++++++

“Be in the car in five minutes or I’m leaving you.”

Loki cringes as the door slams and goes back to frantically search for his tie. He was so tired last night after staying up to work on his current case, he forgot to get his suit ready for today. Stephen was already in a mood, Loki did not make it home in time to prepare dinner last night. Stephen was gracious enough to let Loki have some coffee this morning. His stomach growled its annoyance at being empty for so long, but Loki was used to ignoring it. Shouting in relief Loki found the tie he was told to wear.

Running down the stairs Loki trips over the last step. He feels his ankle twist under him and cries out at the sharp pain that shoots up his leg. He doesn’t stop as he hobbles out to the waiting car and slides into the passenger seat.

“Cutting it close.” Stephen glances over at Loki; frowning he gives him a slow once over, “What did you do to your shoe?”

Loki looks down as his feet and sees that he scuffed his shoe when he fell.

“I tripped coming down the stairs. Sorry, I can go get different shoes.”

Stephen lets out a heavy sigh, “Don’t bother, with how sluggish you are we will be late. Might want to think about increasing your exercise time, something seems to be slowing you down.” Stephen gives a pointed look as he backs out of the driveway. 

“Of course. I can start in a few days.”

“Tomorrow.”

“What?”

“You should start tomorrow, otherwise you will probably forget and I will have to take care of you even more.” Stephen is getting that tone of voice.

“I- I can’t start tomorrow.” Loki hangs his head.

“Why not? Do you doubt me on your heath and well-being?” 

“NO! No, it’s just that I twisted my ankle in the fall.” 

“So not only did you ruin a pair of shoes I gifted to you, but now you are telling me your little fall resulted in an injury.” Stephen glares at Loki, “Really Loki, this attention seeking behavior needs to stop.” 

“You’re right, I’m fine.” Loki swallows the tears and sits up straight before Stephen must remind him.

+++++++++

Walking to the break room to get more coffee Loki stops as he hears his name spoken in hushed tones. Stopping at the door he stays hidden as he hears Natasha and Tony.

“This is beyond abuse! Tony you know it as well as I do! We need to do something.” Natasha whispered voice is harsh with anger.

“Nat, I know! I’ve been trying for weeks to get him alone outside of work to talk to him. He’s not listening!” Tony’s voice is gruff as he rubs at his face, “I think Dr. No is drugging him.”

“WHAT?!” Natasha grabs Tony and pulls him closer, “Talk Stark.”

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m not the one you need to be manhandling,” Tony takes a step back as she sets him down, “you know how Strange has been worse since his accident?” Natasha nods at him, “Well, I sure you’ve noticed Loki has been come even more withdrawn and tight-lipped.” Another nod, “It’s been bugging me, reminds me of when my Dad got addicted to pain pills.”

“Oh no …” Natasha can’t keep the disgust and anguish from her voice.

“Oh yeah, I snooped that last time I was at their place. Found a bottle of sleeping pills with Loki’s name on it, prescribed by one Dr. Strange.”

“Sleeping pills? Loki doesn’t even like to take anything if he has a headache, how the hell did that man get him to take sleeping pills?” She looks at Tony questioningly.

“He probably gave Loki that same bull, ‘just making sure you are taken care of properly’. You know how manipulative that bastard is, has Loki so twisted up he’d cut off his tongue to appease him.”

“We have to do something! What the fuck is that sick asshole doing?!” 

“I know Natasha, but now it not the time. Let’s see if we can get him to stay late tonight. I’ll see if Jarvis can stay late to play look out and Bruce can help us talk to Lokes.”

Their voices get quiet as their foot steps get louder. Loki runs toward his office before they catch him. Could they be right? Was Stephen really all that bad? No. He loved Loki and just wanted the best for him, they just didn’t see him as Loki did. He’d just have to endure their little meeting tonight and make it up to Stephen later tonight for being late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~+++++++++

“You sure he’s out?”

Loki hears the whispered words and tries to move. He finds his body is unresponsive, even his eyes stay closed despite his struggle.

“Of course, I ground up one in his dinner and made him take another before he went to bed. He’ll be out for at least another 6 hours.”

In his dinner?! That extra dosage means Loki was experiencing the drug induced sleep paralysis … which Stephen knew was a side effect of taking too much. What was going on?

“As long as you are sure.” The unknown man’s voice got closer and Loki felt rough hands move him from under the covers, “So how do you wanna do this Doc? Here or in another room?”

Loki feels himself being lifted and his clothing unbuttoned. Unable to so much as twitch Loki silently screams as he feels those hands move over his skin. 

“Here is fine. It is one of his favourite rooms after all.” Stephen chuckles, “I’d rather you not leave any permanent marks, well at least make sure there is no lasting damage. I’d hate to have to explain this to the med board.”

“No problem. Any requests before I get him all prepped?”

“MMmm, I’d love one of him after you are all done. I’m sure he’d love to see what a little slut he had been.”

“Sure Doc, you’re paying. I need to go get my equipment from the van. You said you have all the other _necessary items_ here?”

“Yes. They are in the box at the foot of the bed. Be sure not to use too much lube now, can’t have a slut like him forgetting his place.” Stephen’s voice is hard and practically dismissive. 

“They weren’t lying when they told me you were paying for the whole photo _package_. Alright, it looks like he’s all set for the first few, I’m gonna get the camera and what not. Be back in a jiff.”

The unknown man has Loki stripped and on his front on the bed. Loki feels his skin pebbling in the cold air of the room. He thinks Stephen has left him too, until he begins to speak.

“So, you were planning to leave me, you ungrateful wretch. After everything I’ve done for you, and the shite you’ve put me through.” Stephen leans over Loki and whispers in his ear, “Here I thought lawyers were smart enough not to talk out in the open like that.” Stephen sits on the side of the bed and runs his hand up and down Loki’s back. It should have been a loving cress, but the touch was too firm, too forceful. He backhands Loki along his ribs before continuing, “Luckily for the both of us I am taking that job in India; and since this will be our last night together I thought I’d get you a little parting gift. Something that will help you remember me, for always.”

Loki feels moisture seeping from under his lashes. No… this is all some sick joke. Stephen’s way of getting back at Loki. He’ll laugh soon and tell him is was all a ploy to finally prank Loki. He would never do something like this. He feels the other man get up and hears things being moved around down by his feet.

“Now, I found this wonderful photography company that has less than … stellar morals. The owner, Thanos, was more than happy to send one of his men over after I explained my wishes.” Loki feels Stephen return to his side, “Oh don’t cry my love. He’s not to touch you other than to get you ready and apply some make-up and costumes. Granted, I do have a lovely collection of toys to make for such beautiful pictures.” Stephen runs his fingers through Loki’s hair, pulling it away from his face, “Didn’t I always tell you, you are exquisite.” He whispers this last part into Loki’s ear before biting on the lobe, “Too bad I won’t be around to see the aftermath of this drug cocktail and little party I’ve planned for you.” Stephen stands up and hums in approval, “Oh Loki, you were such a fun experiment. It didn’t matter what I made you do, you’d always come begging for more. Hell, I bet you’d even come crawling back to me after tonight. Such a pity you had to go ruin everything. I had such plans for you.” 

Loki hears the heavy foot steps of the other man.

“All set! So, ya staying to watch or want this to all be a surprise?”

“Sadly I have to pack and be to the airport in a few hours. Thanos knows where to send the pictures. Make sure you clean up before you leave.”

“Hey! This isn't my first shooting you know. No one will know I was even here.”

“Excellent, have fun.”

The room gets quiet as Loki hears Stephen walk away. There is rustling and a few thumps as the other man gets ready.

“I have to say, you sure are a pretty one. We’re going to have so much fun tonight.”

*^*^*^*^

The room is quiet after Loki’s confessions. He slumps in his chair looking like he is ready to pass out again. Thor is shocked into speechlessness. Sitting there in the heavy silence he knows he should say something, comfort Loki somehow. Feeling a growing sickness as he processes what he’s learned Thor swallows thickly trying not vomit. Knowing it is a losing battle he rushes from the room, and barely makes it to the bathroom. It’s violent and disgusting, he feels as if everything he’s ever eaten is purged from him.  
Thankfully, it’s over as soon as it had started, Thor sits back on his heels to catch his breath.

How could anyone do all that to another person, much less _His_ Loki. SHIT LOKI! He left him without a word, and then threw up in his bathroom. Thor doesn't bother with washing the acid out of his mouth as he runs back out to where he left the other man. Not seeing him at the table any more Thor frantically looks around the apartment; becoming more and more anxious as each room is found to be empty. He’s about to start looking in closets and under furniture when he notices the cats are gathered by the entrance, and the front door is open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie this was a hard chapter to write.


	18. I'd Hang the Moon if it Would Make you Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading this, it's reach over 5000 hits! Woohoo!
> 
> As a big thank you I didn't stop this chapter at the cliffhanger that was originally written. Instead there is some smut ... okay a lot of smut. They've more than earned it after what I put them through.
> 
> As always all questions and comments are welcome.  
> Enjoy!

Thor runs down the stairs, taking them two at a time and jumping the last few in his haste. Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT! How could he do that to Loki?! Shite if anything happens to him Thor will never forgive himself; that’s if Natasha doesn’t kill him first. His bare feet slap against the mosaic tiling of the main lobby as he runs to the front doors. There isn’t anyone else in the lobby, he does a quick look around as he runs to the front desk. Thank the Norns there was someone on duty. The doorman smiles at Thor as he beings to say something.

Thor cuts him off, not wanting to waste any time with unneeded pleasantries. “Did Mr. Laufeyson walk through here?” 

The doorman was much too good at his job for his smile to falter, but his eyes narrow at Thor as he answers, “Why yes he did.”

Thor doesn’t let him finish before he moves toward the entrance doors. Just as he is about to leave the building the rest of the man’s words hit him, “He went down the back hallway toward the pool, just a few minutes ago. He didn’t look too good to be going for a swim, might want to take him back upstairs.”

Thor voices his agreement as he runs toward the back hallway. Shouting out a ‘thanks’ as he turns and races down the hall. The pool area is heated and as Thor gets closer he feels the temperature raise as the air becomes heavy with the extra moisture. It feels like it’s an eternity before he reaches the glass doors of the pool area. Testing the doors, he finds them unlocked and he slips in, searching the area for Loki. The pool is empty, not surprising on a Wednesday afternoon, and eerily quiet. Thor doesn’t see Loki at first, he searches the waters fearing the worst, but they are clear. Finally, he spots the other man sitting on the diving board with his back toward Thor. 

Feeling his heart skip a beat as relief floods him, but only for a moment. Some time ago Loki had confessed that he was still learning how to swim. In his current state of mind Thor hoped he didn’t try to get in the water. Loki doesn’t move as Thor reaches the diving board, but now that Thor is close enough he can hear Loki talking. It’s not loud enough for Thor to understand but every few word and what he hears makes him hate himself just a little bit more.

“too good for you …. You are pathetic …. …. Better off without you ….” Loki’s voice is not it’s usual smooth peaceful cadence, the words are harsh and full of sadness.

“Loki?” Thor keeps his own voice quiet, “Loki, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you like that.”

Loki tenses as he realizes he’s not alone. He doesn’t look at Thor as he lets out a bitter little laugh, “Go away Thor.” He sounds weary, “You don’t have to do this.”

Something in Thor snaps as he hears the defeated tone in Loki’s voice. It was killing him to see him like this, so unlike the snarky charismatic man he first met. Thor felt no different toward Loki after learning everything, he still wanted nothing more than to take Loki in his arms and make the pain go away. Although, to be completely honest he did feel the need to hunt down the bastard that hurt Loki and give him a taste of his own medicine. Of course, that wouldn’t help Loki now. He was in that head-space again, and Thor needed to pull him out. 

“Imp look at me.” He keeps his voice firm but gentle. Holding his breath, he waits to see if Loki will respond. Loki glances at him over his shoulder, his eyes red rimmed. Thor continues in that same tone, “I need you to come off the diving board. It’s time for us to leave the pool.” 

Thor’s not sure if Loki will listen this time, he doesn’t want to be too forceful, afraid it’ll push him deeper into his current head-space. Cautiously Loki moves to stand up on the board and begins to inch his way back to Thor who is holding out his hand. Then just as their fingers touch Loki’s foot is too close to the edge of the board and slips. As if in slow motion Thor reaches out to grab him but only catches air as Loki tips over into the water. Time rebounds and suddenly Loki is struggling to get to the surface as he sinks down. Thor is in the water diving down toward Loki, reaching the other man he grabs him from behind and begins to swim to the surface. Loki’s struggling dies down and his body becomes lax. Thor doubles his effort to reach the top, with a final burst of effort they break the surface and Thor drags the other man to the pool siding. 

Loki is coughing and gasping for air, it is the most beautiful sound in the world to Thor at that moment. He waits for Loki’s breathing to calm down, telling him to take slow deep breaths. Treading water as he lifts the other man to the pool ledge and follows him out. Once they are both back on solid ground Thor grabs Loki and pulls him into a crushing hug.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again!” Thor looks into Loki’s stunned eyes, “You listen to me Loki Laufeyson, I am not going to leave you. Nothing you tell me is going to change how I feel about you, and we are going to work through this. Together.” Thor watches as the lines smooth from Loki’s faces and his eyes begin to brighten again, “I told you before, you are stuck with me.” He leans into Loki and takes his lips in a gentle kiss. He feels Loki’s hands tighten around his neck and his mouth opened to him, turning what was to be a short sweet kiss into something more. Pulling apart slightly Thor realizes that Loki is shivering, “Come on let’s get you into some dry clothing.”

“Yes please.” Loki gives Thor a look, “But I don’t think I have anything in your size.”

Thor chuckles as he picks Loki up bridal style, “That’s what blankets are for, creating very stylish togas.”

Loki clings to Thor as they make their way to the back elevator. Rolling his eyes at the other man, “Not sure I have a blanket big enough for you either.”

“Why Imp, are you trying to get me naked?” He wiggles his eyebrows knowing that it always makes Loki laugh. He is not disappointed as Loki tries and fails to hold back a peal of laughter.

“You are incorrigible.” Loki is quiet for a moment, then he looks up at Thor, “I know this can’t be easy for you and you’ve been so great and understanding. You’ve pulled me out of the dark place more than once now and I just want to … I just want to say, thank you.” A blush spreads across Loki’s cheeks and neck as he hangs his head.

“There’s no need to thank me we’re in this together,” Thor sets Loki on his feet as they enter his apartment. He holds on to him, not letting him move away just yet, “besides I know you’d do the same for me.”

Loki touches Thor’s cheek as he kisses him, “I’d do anything for you, you big sap.” A smirk dances across his lips, “well anything but let you pick the movie.” With that Loki begins to walk to the bathroom taking off his wet clothing as he goes.

“Hey! My taste in movies is excellent!” Thor trails after him, taking his own wet clothing off in the process.

He hears a snort as he enters the bathroom and stops to admire the view. Loki is bent over rummaging through the closet and he’s naked. Thor lets out a groan before he can stop himself, he barely manages to not reach out and fondle the perfect globes tempting him. Loki jumps and whips around, his own eyes roam over Thor before he steps closer.

“See something you like?” His voice is a purr as he runs his hands over the planes of Thor’s chest. Loki eyes darken as he scratches over one of Thor’s nipples and Thor hisses out a breath. Keeping eye contact Loki runs the tip of his tongue over one of the abused nubs, circle it before he pulls it into his mouth and sucks. He pulls back and blows across the trail of saliva he’s left. Thor moans as Loki moves to repeat the process on the other side. Before he can Thor takes his hands and holds him away from his body, “Loki, should we be doing this?” 

Loki grumbles at him and tries to take his hands back, but Thor doesn’t release his grip. Finding himself trapped Loki sighs, “Thor this is exactly what we should be doing.” He tries to reach for Thor again but is still held fast.

“I need you to tell me that if we continue you will be okay.” Thor pulls Loki’s hands up to his chin, making the other man look at him.

“I can’t promise you that,” Loki licks his lips as the meets Thor’s eyes, “what I can tell you is that being with you is nothing like what I’ve experienced before.” Loki let’s his fingers frame Thor’s face, “You make me feel good, and care about my enjoyment. I don’t feel forced into doing things I don’t want, and honestly you have me spoiled with all your attention.”

Thor presses a kiss to Loki’s palm, “How can I argue with that? Besides I think I am becoming addicted to you.” 

With that Thor release Loki’s hands and pulls their bodies together as he nuzzles the side of Loki’s neck. He moves his lips over the soft skin until he hears the slight hitch in Loki’s breath. He bites down on the spot and sucks. His cock hardens as Loki lets out a gasp and arches his back, his hands tangle in Thor’s hair holding him in place. Seeing what other sounds he can coax out of his Imp, Thor nibbles along Loki’s jaw until he gets to another spot that has Loki whimpering. Moving away from the new bite Thor admires the reddening marks before he is pulled into a demanding kiss. Quickly he takes control of the kiss and groans as he sucks on Loki’s tongue. 

He lifts the other man and feels his legs encircle his waist. Entering the bedroom, he breaks the kiss to toss Loki on the bed, loving how it makes the other man’s eyes darken. The heated look he gets in return has him smirking as he crawls up Loki’s body. He takes his hands and pins them to either side of his head.

“Let’s see how long you can keep them here.” Thor’s voice is rough with lust. He growls as Loki moans and nods in acceptance. He nips at Loki’s lower lip, “No moving now.” 

Mouthing his way to Loki’s chest Thor grins as he pinches and pulls on Loki’s nipples. Loki lets out a surprised gasp and arches his back, his hands clenching but remain where Thor put them. Oh, how sweet this is going to be. He loves how sensitive Loki’s nipples are and could spend hours lavishing them with attention. He wants to watch them redden and swell, making sure Loki would be reminded of the sweet torture for days to come. 

He palms the firm plains of Loki’s chest, cupping his pecs and running his thumbs over the tight buds. He squeezes his slight handful and begins to lick around the areolas, alternating between the two. Loki is panting as he shakes his hand. Wanting to hear him shout out Thor blows across the little nubs making them tighten even more. Then he grabs them both and twists, pulling them away from his body Thor listens as Loki cries out. His hands lifting briefly before he remembers to keep them still. Thor feels Loki’s hard cock leaving a wet trial against his thigh. Watching as color spreads across his chest Thor craves more. Next time he is going to have some clamps with him, that way he can leave them on Loki as he tongues him open. He’ll be able to pull on the chain to feel him tighten up all over again. 

Thor groans at the thought as he releases the nubs. They are reddening nicely but could still use some plumping up. Waiting until Loki is shifting restlessly Thor bites down and sucks on one nip while pulling and twisting the other. Loki practically bucks him off the bed, he screams as Thor changes sides. Loki babbles at him as he takes in his handiwork, almost perfect. Thor sits on Loki’s things, holding him down for what he is about to do. He whispers to him, “Remember to keep your hands where they are,” then he processes to flick the poor abused nubs. He watches Loki’s face as he flicks his nipples a few more times, rubbing them ever so often before giving them a twist. 

There perfect. Loki is trying to thrust his hips as he sobs. His hands are fisted in the covers as he pleads with Thor. Thor decides not to call him out on it, they are still in the same place after all. He places gently kisses to the inflamed nubs, tasting them one last time.

“shhh,” Thor pushes Loki’s hair from out of his eyes and runs his hands down his tear streaked face, “oh Imp you look so good like this. Full of need and begging for more.” Thor kisses him, and Loki opens his mouth to him. Thor pulls away all too soon and Loki whines at the loss. Thor smirks at him, “Is there something you need, Imp?”

“Please … please … Oh norns Thor touch me…take me …. I need …. I need …” Loki is already begging and Thor’s just getting started.

“It’s okay Imp, I know what you need.” Thor moves to the bed side table he found the lube in last time, “You need something filling that sweet little hole of yours.” Thor finds the lube and returns to Loki, who is pleading for Thor do fuck him, “Not yet Imp. I have other plans for you first.”

Loki groans and thumps his head on the bed, “Thor stop teasing and fuck me!”

Thor pinches one of his nipples and Loki cries out, his cock leaking.

“Such demands,” Thor flicks the other nipple, “I will fuck you Imp, but only after you’ve given me two orgasms.” Loki’s eyes go large and starts to say something. Thor doesn’t give him the chance to speak as he runs his nails over Loki’s chest, making sure to scratch over his nipples. Loki lets out a choked scream as his untouched cock pulses with his release.

“Now that wasn’t so difficult, was it?” Thor licks up the cum splattered on Loki’s stomach and chest, “You just need to give me one more.” Thor uses his fingers and scoops up some cum on Loki’s lower stomach. He uses the cum as he palms Loki’s softening member. He strokes the sensitive cock, feel it hardened again under his ministrations. He takes it into his mouth and swirls his tongue around the head. Using one hand to keep Loki’s hips from moving he takes his balls into his hands and rolls them as he licks and sucks his mouthful back to full hardness. Loki is practically thrashing on the bed, he holds the covers so tight they might rip. Thor lets go of the now leaking member and places kisses along Loki’s cheeks and neck. He whispers words of praise as Loki begins to calm down.

“You are doing so well. If you could only see your self Imp.” Thor nibbles his ear lobe, “If you can keep holding on just a bit longer and not move those hands I have a surprise for you.” Loki can only moan at Thor, “Okay Imp, I need you to roll over and put your hands back where they were. Thor slaps him lightly on the thigh as he complies, then he takes a moment to just enjoy the long lines of Loki’s back.

Loki gets himself back in position and Thor has him lift his hips to shove a pillow under them. He then grabs the lube and kneels between Loki’s spread thighs. Unable to resist, Thor parts Loki’s cheeks and licks a path from his balls to his tailbone. Loki thrust his hips back and lets out a broken sob. This wasn’t really part of Thor’s plan, but who is he to deny Loki’ anything. He rubs his bristle cheek over the firm ass, parting the cheeks wider he makes sure to rub his chin over Loki’s tight hole. He watches as it clenches, and Loki lets out another sob. Thor hums and does it again, this time a little softer so he doesn’t irritate the delicate skin too much. He soothes the blooming rash with long swipes of his tongue, only stopping to circle around the pink and puffy hole.

Thor can tell that that little bit of pain and his tongue were enough to get Loki right to the edge. Now he just needs to push him over. Thor picks up the lube and drizzles some over Loki’s rim. Tossing the bottle within reach Thor massages the tight ring of muscle with one finger. He feels it loosen and slips his finger inside, groaning at the silky heat. Loki lets out a long moan as the finger slowly breaches him. Thrusting the digit in and out of the gripping heat Thor searching for that little nub. He feels the firm bundle of nerves and glides his finger over it, scarcely touching. He does this until Loki is humping back against his finger seeking out more. That when Thor pushes in another finger. Loki lets out a strangled moan at the added stretch. Thor had to tug on his balls making sure he didn’t come. Thor scissors his fingers before he goes back to teasing at Loki’s prostate. It takes much less time for Loki to start pushing back on his fingers. This time as Thor pushes in a third finger he rotates his hand and pulls another groan from Loki. 

Feeling the tremor that runs through Loki’s body Thor doesn’t tease, instead he presses down on the little nub. Loki’s back arches as he throws his head back, his whole-body tenses and he screams as he cums. Thor slowly removes his fingers once Loki calms down, he gathers the other man into his arms. Loki looks at him with a dazed expression. Thor smooths his hair back and peppers his face with kiss, telling him how great he was. 

“That was beautiful Imp. I knew you could do it. Now for your reward.” Loki’s eyes light up, “I’m going to let you decide how I’m going to fuck you.”

Loki wiggles around until he is sitting in Thor’s lap, “Like this.” He picks up the lube and pours some in his hand before wrapping his hand around Thor’s hard and leaking prick.  
The feeling of Loki’s hands around his cock is almost enough to do him in, “That’s enough Imp. Keep that up and I’ll be done before we begin.”

Loki gives him an annoyed look, “One of these days you are going to be the one tortured through multiple orgasms.”

Thor chuckles at him, he lifts the other man up, “I’m already tortured by the sounds you make,” Thor pulls Loki down on his cock. He holds onto his hips letting him adjust to the stretch, “and how you arch and wiggle in pleasure.”

Loki grips Thor’s shoulders as he lowers himself until he is flush with Thor’s groin. They both groan at the contact. Loki whimpers as his still sensitive channel is stretched around Thor’s girth. He feels every inch of the thick cock rub against his channel, letting out a breathy sigh when it presses into his prostate as he shifts slightly. Once he is used to the fullness Loki lifts himself up until just the head is still in him, locking eyes with Thor he drops back down. He smirks as Thor shouts and grips his hips tight enough to bruise. He does it again and again until Thor is biting his lip and his member seems to swell, his stamina is beyond impressive as Loki feels his thighs tremble.

Playing dirty Loki begins to swirl his hips and pulls Thor to him. Whispering in his ear, “Make me cum. I want to feel your hot cum inside me.” 

Loki doesn’t get to say any more as Thor roars and flips them. Loki is on his back with his legs pressed to his chest. Thor thrusts into him at a bruising pace, hitting his prostate on every thrust. Loki is helpless as he feels another orgasm approaching. He whines as Thor practically bends him in two and thrust. Loki screams as his release if forced out of him. His cock dribbles a little cum as his arse clenches, he feels Thor’s release coat his insides as he gives one final growl. 

Loki is boneless as Thor slowly lowers his legs and flops down next to him. Thor pulls Loki to him as they try to gather their breath.

“OH GOD!” There is a sudden loud shout from the door way, “Fucking hell Ice I thought you were being murdered!” Tony is standing there with a hand over his eyes. “If you are going to have loud animalistic sex you might want to lock the door next time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on WYGMLICAF: Loki and Thor deal with a traumatized Tony and talk over their future.
> 
>  
> 
> PS. If anyone knows why the note from my first chapter shows up on all following chapters could you please let me know. Also if there is a way to fix it. It's one of those silly little things that is driving me crazy.


	19. Peeping Tony and the Lovebirds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings!
> 
> This is a short little transitional chapter. Should have a nice long smutty chapter up by Sunday.  
> Once again a big thank you to all the kudos and comments!  
> Enjoy!

The room is quiet after Tony’s unexpected and loud outburst. Loki looks at the man standing in his bedroom doorway, face flushed under the hand plaster over his eyes. His eyes slide over to Thor who is leaning up on an elbow staring at the man in mild disbelief. Their eyes meet and Loki smirks at Thor who gives him a smug smile in return. Loki can’t help it, he starts to laugh. He’s just had some of the best sex in his life only for it to end with his best friend barging in unannounced. 

Thor chuckles next to him, placing a kiss on his temple he whispers, “At least he had the decency to wait until we were done.”

Loki blushes hotly as his laughter dies down. He looks over to his friend he notices that Tony is no longer covering his face, in fact he is staring at them with wide eyes. Loki feels a hot spark of jealousy as he watches Tony eye Thor. Thor is completely unaware as he only seems to have eyes for Loki. 

“Tony!” Loki’s harsh cry startles the man, he must have realized he was caught staring, for he mumbles something before turning around.

“Right … so … I’m just going to wait in the living room while you two … ummm … put some clothing on, yeah.” He bolts from the door way, slamming the door behind him.

Loki grumbles and glares at the door before flopping back on the bed. Thor chuckles at him and presses another kiss to his temple. Then his nose which has Loki glaring at him in a huff. Thor just smiles at him and processes to kiss the glare away.

“We should probably go see why he’s here,” Loki sighs as he sits up, “if we leave him alone too long he might get bored and come back.” 

“We could always put on another show.” Thor’s voice is light, but Loki doesn’t doubt he means what he said.

Loki gets up and stretches, wincing as he feels Thor’s release run down the back of his leg, “You are insatiable!” Loki laughs as Thor’s eyes darken as they roam over his rear. 

Thor gets up and pulls the other man to him and nuzzles his neck while his hands roam over his back and sides. “Aye, only for you.” Loki’s response is lost in a gasp as Thor circles a finger around his puffy and sensitive rim, “seeing you wreaked and leaking my cum makes me want to lick you clean before I fill you up again.” Thor’s voice is a growl in Loki’s ear, he slowly teases one finger into Loki, who lets out a broken moan as he clings to Thor’s neck as his knees go weak. Their bodies are pressed tightly together, and Loki swears he’d be hard again if it was physically possible. 

So of course, that is the moment that Tony decides to voice his impatience, “Hey! I can still hear you!”

This time it is Thor to holler back, “That wouldn’t be a problem if you’d get stop being a voyeur and step away from the door.”

“It wouldn’t be a problem if you’d stop molesting Ice and get out here!” 

Loki places a hand over Thor’s mouth and kisses his cheek, “the faster we get out there and see why he’s here the faster he’ll leave.”

Thor kisses the hand over his mouth and removes it, “and the sooner it is until I can have you again.”

“You are going to be the death or me,” Loki kisses him to take the sting from his words.

“Then stop being such a temptations Imp.”

Loki rolls his eyes.

Five minutes later finds them sitting with Tony in the living room. Tony keeps staring at Thor’s uncovered chest, Loki managed to find a pair of sweatpants that fit Thor (barely) but none of his shirts would even fit one of his arms. Loki clears his throat loudly and glares at Tony. He not so sneakily moves closer to Thor. 

“I’m just going to assume that everything is okay, and Natasha was worried needlessly.” 

“Yes Tony, everything is fine,” Loki loves his friends dearly; but they could be such mother hens, “You can report Thor is taking very good care of me.” Loki lets his voice dip on the last part.

Tony flushes and looks away as he stammers, “Don’t shoot the messenger! She called me demanding I come make sure everything was okay since neither of you called her back.”

Loki felt a little guilty now, “Sorry Tony, we didn’t mean to make anyone worry.”

“Ah it’s fine, I knew you’d be fine with the Thunderer.” Tony smiles at them, “Just didn’t know it was physical healing you needed.”

Loki gapes at Tony as Thor breaks down in laughter. The atmosphere was much lighter after that, the three of them discussed how scary Natasha could be and if she and Bruce would ever get together. The conversation flowed easily, Loki loving the fact that Tony and Thor got along. Stephen had never gotten along with any of his friends. After a few beers and Thai take-out Tony was ready to let the two lovebirds alone,

He would never admit it, but Natasha wasn’t the only one that worried about Loki. Once Natasha called him to ask if he’d heard from him Tony took it upon himself to check. His heart lodged in his throat when he got to the door and hear Loki’s scream, finding the door unlocked he expected the worse. Instead he walks in on his friend yowling like a cat in heat as Thor was fucking his brains out. Tony was far from a prude, but there are some things he doesn’t need to see. Course, after he got a good look at _why_ Loki was so loud. Tony didn’t have penis envy … nope at all.

So after finally getting them out of the bedroom Tony decided it was time to get to know Thor. He found the other man doted on Loki. Tony watched as Thor would run his hands over Loki’s back, or give him a quick kiss. They were disgusting together, so mushy and cute, it made Tony secretly smile. It was obvious they were head over heels for one another. Feeling much better about their relationship Tony took his leave, reminding them to lock the door this time.

Loki cuddled with Thor on the couch feeling sleepy and content. He was contemplating on how to ask Thor to spend the night when the other man spoke, “Imp, I have a question for you if you feel up to it.”

Shifting around until Loki faced Thor and nodded his acceptance. 

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Thor was oddly fidgety, and Loki found it endearing. 

“Thor just ask.” Loki took Thor’s hand into his own and waited.

“Did you enjoy what we did in bed today?” Thor stops fidgeting and waits for Loki’s response.

“I always like what we do together.” Loki looks at Thor oddly as he realizes what Thor is actually asking, “I also really enjoyed you taking control like that.” Loki looks at Thor under his lashes.

“It doesn’t bother you?” 

“No, it makes me feel,” Loki bites his lip to stop him from uttering the word. He looks at Thor’s open expression and find the courage, “loved.” Thor gives him a soft smile and Loki feels the need to be completely honest, “Before you sex had always been so lacking. I never realized it at the time, but I hated having sex. I mean I craved it for the closeness, but it was never pleasurable.” Loki bites his lip again, afraid to look at Thor.

Thor tills Loki’s head back and seals their lips together. He pulls the slighter man onto his lap, groaning as Loki gasps into the kiss. Too soon they are pulling away, Thor wants to finish their conversation before he gets too distracted by his Imp. 

“I want you to promise me you something,” Loki nods, “Promise me you will be honest with me about your desires. If you don’t want to have sex and just cuddle let me know. Sex shouldn’t be the way to get affection. I will give you all the affection you want, you just have to ask.” Thor rubs his thump along Loki’s check and Loki snuggles into his hand.

“You spoil me.”

“Good, that is the goal.” 

Loki tangles his hands into Thor’s hair and drags him into a long and slow kiss. Never has anyone told wanted to know his desires; he’s not sure if that or the press of Thor’s hard length against his own turns him on more. Pulling out of the kiss Loki gives Thor a heated look, “Does that mean I can also ask for sex instead of a cuddle?”

Thor grins at him and palms his ass, squeezing the firm globs, “How about both.”

Loki groans and nods, which is all the confirmation Thor needs. Picking Loki up, he takes him back to bed. They can finish this conversation later, for now Thor is content to let their bodies do all the talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on: WYGMLICAF: The lovebirds have an open discussion about Loki's needs in and out of the bedroom. Also Thor has a confession of his own.


	20. Sleepless Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> This is half of what I wanted to write for the next chapter. I figured I'd post the first part now instead of making everyone wait for the whole thing. Hopefully should have the nice long smutty chapter up in a day.  
> Once again I just want to thank everyone who is reading this! Your kudos and comments mean the world,  
> Enjoy!!

Laying awake staring at the alarm clock on the bedside table Loki wondered not for the first time how he could become so attached to another person so quickly. It was Friday night, well Saturday morning and the second night in a row he was unable to find sleep. It was just pure coincidence that it was also the second night he didn’t have Thor in his bed. Rolling over to the great displeasure of Frick and Frack, both voicing a complaint before going back to sleep, Loki thought back to Wednesday. 

The first half of the day couldn’t have gone any worse. At one point he honestly thought he’d disgusted Thor so much it was over. Thor had proceeded to not only tell him how wrong he was but show him over and over again. Loki still felt a twinge of painful pleasure when he sat down, and he was discovering Thor might have a bit of a nipple fetish. His were still raw after two days, the man seemed to derive endless joy in playing with Loki’s; who was quickly becoming addicted to the attention. They had fallen asleep Wednesday after they were both spent and exhausted, Loki even falling asleep with Thor still buried in him. Thor was so large, even when soft, it was no wonder Loki awoke later to the feeling of being full. He’d taken the opportunity to tease Thor awake for another go around.

Trying to get comfortable with the twin lumps on his legs, Loki attempts to think of anything other than sex with Thor. Becoming aroused without the other man there left Loki feeling empty. He’d never been big on sex, in the past he’d gone along with it to get what he really wanted, physical contact. It was different with Thor, he was beginning to crave sex with Thor like he craved the closeness it brought. It wasn’t just the sex either, he missed Thor’s teasing and how he could fill a room with laughter. 

Thursday morning was a new experience for Loki. He’d woken up to the smell of coffee and something sweet. Walking into the kitchen he found Thor filling plates with pancakes and fruit. Loki could only watch as Thor set about making two plates while he pulled apart a pancake to drop pieced for the little beggars at his feet. As Loki watched him he felt the prickle of tears in his eyes, no one had ever made him breakfast. He must have made some sounds because Thor turned around and graced him with a huge smile. The next thing Loki knew he was wrapped up in strong arms, words of comfort being whispered in his ear, and just like that Loki was okay. 

Later after they’d eaten and were getting ready for the day, Loki asked Thor how he’d known Loki was slipping into that mindspace. Thor was brushing his teeth, with the new brush he found on the counter, he held up a hand as he rinsed. 

“It’s your eyes,” he told Loki as he wiped his mouth, “you get this closed off look.” He finished in the bathroom and pecked Loki on the cheek, “I don’t know what to tell you Imp. It looked like you needed grounded.”

That was when Loki realized he might be not be falling in love, because he’d already fallen. Now he grumbled to himself how Thor was turning him into a sap. Tony had told him as much at work that day. He’d taken great glee in recounting his encounter with the new dubbed lovebird with Natasha, Bruce, and a mortified Jarvis (the PG-13 version thankfully). Loki wasn’t sure if he was more annoyed with Tony or embarrassed when his friends decided to take him out to celebrate last night. 

Thor had been called away to his main brewery and wasn’t expected back until next week, meaning their weekend plans were cancelled. So, with some trepidation Loki had agreed to a night out with his friends. He really shouldn’t have worried, other than some mild teasing as he checked his phone it was an enjoyable night out. They’d ended up bowling, not wanting to go drinking, and being crushed by Jarvis. To the delight of everyone Jarvis had conned them all out of twenty bucks, as he got strike after strike. The best part had to be his insistence for ice cream after, his treat. 

The only downside to the night was that he couldn’t share it with Thor. He’d seen Bruce take Natasha’s hand as they walked to his car as they left. Which made Tony hand over another few bills to Jarvis with some mild cursing. They invited Loki to join them at Tony’s for some late-night gaming and pizza. Tired after his previous sleepless night Loki took a raincheck. Now he kind of wished he had gone with them, wasn’t like he was getting any actual sleep. He’d been texting Thor until about two hours ago when the other man must have gone to bed. 

Untangling himself from sheets and the fur balls, Loki got up to see if maybe walking would help. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d walked around the city at night unable to sleep, although this time it was for a much better reason. His phone buzzed as he was lacing up his shoes, glancing at the clock he figured it was some notification.

T-Are you awake?

Guess he wasn’t the only one unable to sleep.

L-Yeah. Can’t sleep, you?

T-Not even a little. You should come downstairs.

Arching an eyebrow with more than a little excitement Loki finished tying his shoes and grabbed his keys to leave.

L-Was on my way down actually. 

Impatience and nerves has Loki taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. Outside the entrance he sees a familiar silhouette and tries to appear nonchalant as he steps outside. The smirk on Thor’s face lets him know he is failing miserably. 

“What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be away until next week?” Loki does bother pretending anymore as he steps into Thor’s arms and breathes in his scent.

“There was this Imp that tempted me back early,” Thor’s hands find their way up the back of Loki’s shirt, surprisingly warm in the cold night air, “That and the new parts arrived tonight, so instead of another sleepless night away I thought I’d come back early.”

“And you think I’d just let you in my bed at 2 am?” Loki asks Thor between nips along his jaw and neck.

Thor bites back a moan as Loki finds a spot behind his ear, “It was that or drag you to mine.”

“You can do that in the morning, for now mines closer.” Loki pulls Thor down into a lip-lock that quickly escalates into Thor slipping his hands south and Loki running his nails down Thor’s back. 

They break apart before they end up rutting on the sidewalk, barely. Riding the elevator up they are content to stand close with Loki pressed against Thor’s side. Entering the apartment Loki finds himself fighting a yawn as Thor’s hands caress the sensitive skin of his stomach. He feels Thor press against his back and his breath tickles along Loki’s neck. Losing the fight against his yawn Loki feels his eyes water, worry blooms in his chest as he feels Thor’s hands still.

“You sound as tired as I feel,” Thor mumbles into Loki’s neck, “come on, let’s see if Frick and Frack left us any room.”

The bedroom is dark other than the two glowing sets of eyes, Thor snorts in amusement as he strips down to his boxers. He sits on the edge of the bed waiting for Loki to finish changing, “I know that look Imp, what has your thinking so hard?”

They crawl into bed, Thor rolls onto his side as Loki snuggles into him, “I was worried you’d be upset.”

Thor tilts Loki’s head back to meet his eyes, “I’d never be upset with you for not waiting sex. I meant it when I said I’d listen to your wants and needs.” Thor places a chaste kiss on Loki’s lips, “besides I’d think it would be much more enjoyable if we both are awake.”

Rolling his eyes, Loki rolls over, pressing his back to Thor’s front. He pulls a muscle heavy arm over his side, “Mmmm…. okay. Just don’t start without me.”

“I’d never do that,” Thor’s voice is soft as he kisses the back of Loki’s head, “Sleep Imp, you’re going to need it for tomorrow.”

Loki thinks he mumbles a response as he finally drifts off to sleep.


	21. At Least it is Matching Baggage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor has some baggage of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Sorry it took so long to update, life seemed to think it was a good time for some chaos. On the bright side here is a nice long chapter with some shweet kinky lovin'. So of course that means I had to add a few new tags. 
> 
> As always I'm so over joyed at all the kudos and comments. Thank you!  
> Enjoy!

The gym was quiet early Friday morning, in fact Thor and Steve were the only ones there. Typically, Bucky would be there too, but he was going to working the swing shift later and Steve wanted to let him sleep. Thor secretly thought it was that Steve had kept the other man up too late and was only there himself because he was the owner. Thor felt surprising well rested considering the antics he was up to last night. Smiling he wondered if Loki would be snarking at him later, which would only make Thor want to ravish him all over again. Knowing Loki, he did it on purpose to torment Thor. 

Steve turned on some quiet rock music and set about doing all the opening requirements. Thor left him to it and decided to get some cardio in while he waited. He learned that Loki loved to go for runs and wanted to build up his own long-distance stamina to join him sometime. Spending almost every night with the dark-haired Imp, Thor was finding their lives were fitting together almost seamlessly. It had been over a week since Loki confessed everything to Thor, and although there had been one other nightmare there haven’t been any more episodes. A few times a darkness entered Loki’s eyes, but Thor found if he ran his fingers over Loki’s neck it wouldn’t progress. Everything seemed to be going perfect, well almost everything. 

“Alright Odinson, out with it.” Steve hopped onto the treadmill next to him, “I can practically hear your synapses firing.”

Sometimes he wished Steve didn’t know him so well. Letting out a huff of air Thor asked, “Do you think I’m abusive?”

Steve’s reaction might have been funny in a different situation, he gaped at Thor and almost fell of the treadmill. Gaining his balancing and catching himself at the last-minute Steve shut off his machine before turning to Thor, “You did not seriously just ask me that,” Steve paused and rolled his eyes, “You are by far the most compassionate and caring people I know; so unless you’ve taken a sudden dark turn, no.”

Thor turned off his own machine with a small chuckle, “Yeah I guess,” Thor rubs at the back of his neck and mumbles, “but you don’t know me in the bedroom.”

A loud burst of laughter shocks Thor and he stares at his friend in bewilderment, “Have you forgotten our first apartment?”

“I would have remembered if we ended up in bed together.” Thor replies with mild irk.

“No, you big goof, you were dating Fandral at the time.” 

Thor shrugs, “Okay?”

“Buddy our walls were paper thin and you two weren’t exactly quiet.”

Thor feels his face heat up, “Ohhhh …. Yeah,” 

“Yeah exactly, I probably know more about your sex life than is healthy,” Steve pats Thor on the shoulder as he gives him a hard look, “Does this have something to do with Loki?”

“I worry that I’m pushing him into things he doesn’t want.” Thor tells Steve as they walk over to the free weights, “what if I’m taking advantage of him.”

“Okay, stop right there. Are you still letting what happened with Mark get to you?” 

“Maybe,” Thor frowns in thought, “It doesn’t help that he was the last guy I dated before Loki, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes.”

“Oh please, the only mistake you made with that close-minded jerk was thinking he could be a rational adult.”

“He wasn’t that bad, it didn’t help that I wasn’t honest with him up front. Now I’m doing the same thing with Loki.”

“Thor, you know you’re like a brother to me so what I’m about to say is with love,” Steve folds his arms, “you my friend are too honest for your own good. Mark was a bigoted moron who not only screamed ‘rape’ when you brought out a few toys, but also called Bucky a cripple.” Steve holds up a hand before Thor can talk, “Don’t let what that jerk said get to you. So you have a few kinks in the bedroom, don’t we all. I think you will find Loki much more understanding. Talk to him, the worse that’ll happen is he says no, although I’m almost positive that won’t be a problem.” 

“That’s all well and good but you don’t know what he’s been through. I don’t want to end up hurting him for a few moments of fun.” 

“I’m going to tell you what my therapist told me. ‘When you treat someone like glass, they might not break but eventually your relationship will shatter’.” Steve tells Thor as they scowl at one another in the mirror. They are quiet for a bit, letting the rhythm of their workout take over.

Thor mulls over what Steve said and his relationship with Loki. He could admit, at least to himself, that Steve was probably right. Thor worried too much over his sexual preference since his ex freaked out and told him he was sick in the head. It wasn’t that he was bored with Loki, far from it, but he also knew he was already taking control when they had sex. He didn’t want to push Loki too far, slightly concerned the other man wouldn’t tell him to stop. Groaning as he finished his work out and drained his water bottle, he knew Steve was right. 

“Don’t gloat too much, but you are right,” Steve is kind enough to only give a small satisfied smile, “I’m going to talk to Loki and not obsess over the fact that I’m a sexual deviant.” 

“Thor, one of these days you’re going to realize that everyone is a sexual deviant,” Steve gives Thor a playful shove with his shoulder, “but I’m happy you are going to get over yourself and go get some kinky lovin’.” 

Steve laughs as Thor groans and shakes his head, “What ever happened to the naïve freshman who practically fainted when he heard the word blow-job?”

Steve snorts, “He became friends with you.”

*^*^*^*^

What was it about a Friday afternoon that made people so apathetic? Loki had been on the phone for over 20 minutes trying to get a police file on one of his client’s ex-husbands. It was as if everyone was playing the ‘please hold’ game. He had wanted to get out early, so he could stop at home before heading over to Thor’s. He wanted a to make sure Frick and Frack had enough food and water for the weekend. Although, he’d probably stop by to check on them Saturday, being a crazy cat person and all. Thor thought it was adorable; Thor seemed to think most things he did was adorable. Finally getting someone in the records office, he put the request in and was officially done for the day. Shutting his office down for the weekend he grabbed his coat bag and went to say his good-byes.

Tony seemed to be playing the same holding game and gave him a wink and thumbs up as he walked past. Natasha was meeting with a client and her door was shut. Bruce was hanging out with Jarvis in the lobby and it looked like they were very busy, looking up recipes.

“Loki come help us settle a debate.” Bruce called him over with a wave of his hand.

“Don’t tell me. You are fighting over who has the best recipe.”

They both gave him a dirty look before Jarvis replied, “You’re just jealous we can bake,” he arched an eyebrow, “We were actually debating on if apple pie or apple turnovers would be better for the party.”

“I’m shocked you haven’t come to blows over this argument yet.” Loki deadpanned at them, “Go with the turnovers, easier to serve and eat.”

“Ha! Told you!” Bruce exclaimed as Jarvis huffed in annoyance.

“Find, Bruce you can make them,” Jarvis typed a few things on his laptop, “Before I forget, Loki you got something in the mail today.” Jarvis picked up a large manila envelope and held it out to him.

“Could you put that on my desk? I’m not taking any work home this weekend.”

Jarvis nods and puts the envelope back down, “Very well, enjoy your romantic rendezvous with the beefcake.”

Bruce tried to cover his laughter with a cough as Loki graced them both with an amused glare. Leaving them to their recipes Loki shakes his head in amusement. He sees he has a text from Thor asking if he could bring some wine along. He sends a quick affirmative before starting his car. Thor had been acting strangely the last few days. He was quieter and seemed lost in thought, the sex while still good was much gentler and Thor wasn’t as dominate. Loki wasn’t sure what was going on, but he planned to find out tonight. They had agreed to be honest with one another, and it was time for Loki to get some answers.

*^*^*^*^

This would be the first time Loki was staying over at Thor’s place. To say Thor was nervous would have been putting it mildly. The small house was in a nice neighborhood on the edge of the city. He liked that he had a bit of land with the place and it was much quieter than the city. He hadn’t been home much recently, typically staying over at Loki’s. It was a three-bedroom 1.5 ranch house with a large basement. It was more room than he strictly needed, but it would be just right for two, and maybe a few cats. Thor despite occasionally leaving clothing on the floor was a generally neat person. His house reflected this with simple décor and a homey feeling.

The plan was to seduce Loki with good food and wine, then he would broach the subject of kinks and desires over dessert. He’d gone all out with making steak tartar, grilled zucchini, and mashed cauliflower with a dark chocolate torte for dessert. It was a meal he was positive Loki would love. Everything was prepared and just could be made once Loki arrived to make sure it was fresh. Thor resisted the urge to pace, he knew he was being absurd. It wasn’t that he was ashamed, he just was afraid to scare Loki off. He worried that if he introduced more dominance in the bedroom it would remind Loki too much of Stephen. Realistically, he was well aware there was a world of difference between what he wanted to do with Loki and what was done to him. Hearing a car pull into the drive way Thor walked to the front door to greet his guest.

Thor set about making dinner as Loki opened the wine and set the small table. Thor smiled as he watched Loki try to unobtrusively look around the house, “You are free to look around.” He calls out to the other man.

A blush settled over Loki’s features as he's caught, “I was trying not to be rude.” He walks over to where Thor is mixing the cauliflower, “Need any help?” 

“I’ve got it, should be ready to eat in about 5 minutes, why don’t you go give into your need to snoop?” Thor leans over and nudges Loki with his hip, “Just stay out of the basement,” He gives Loki a serious look, “no one ever comes back from the basement.”

Loki raises an eyebrow before rolling his eyes, “I find your sense of humor lacking in this instance,” Loki turns away, stopping he looks over his shoulder, “just for that I’m going through all your drawers.” He smirks as he enters the living room.

Thor shakes his head in amusement before he realizes what he has in some of his drawers. Well, it was one way for Loki to learn about some of his desires. That was if Loki actually went snooping, he wouldn’t though. Probably. Thor finished dinner and set the plates on the table. Calling out he didn’t get a response from Loki. The living room was empty as well as his office, bathroom and bedroom. Opening the basement door, he found the lights off which only left his spare room. Seeing the door partially open he stops and looks in, sure enough Loki has found his naughty drawer. He can’t help but laugh as he pushes open the door. All of a sudden, his worries and concerns seem so juvenile.   
“I should have known you’d find the sex toys.” Thor’s voice deepens when he sees Loki startle at his entrance and guiltily drop what he was holding.

“It was this or venture into your sex dungeon, but I figured this was closer.” Loki tries to appear composed, but he is flushed and keeps glancing back into the drawer.

Thor walks over and picks up the plug he dropped on the floor, he meets Loki’s eyes and can only see curiosity in them with a hint of desire, “Do we need to talk about this now or would you rather eat first?” Thor’s practically crowds into Loki’s space as the other man licks his lips.

“Does this have anything to do with your distance these past few days?” Loki’s voice is quiet.

Thor drops his head, he rubs at the back of his neck before giving a dry little laugh, “Yeah I guess so.” He drops the plug back into the drawer and takes Loki’s hand, “I was worried this would freak you out.”

Loki lets out a huff of annoyance, “Honestly Thor, you were worried about a few sex toys? I am not so fragile that I couldn’t handle you sharing some bedroom desires with me.” He narrows his eyes but gives Thor’s hand a squeeze.

“I take it you didn’t look in the other drawers?” 

“You mean the restraints and clamps?” Loki smiles, “I’m kind of shocked you haven’t used the clamps yet. You do seem to love leaving me aching with need as you play with my nipples.” Loki presses his body against Thor’s and whispers the last bit in his ear. 

Thor groans as he crushes his mouth to Loki’s, taking control of the kiss he sucks on Loki’s lower lip. The moan Loki lets out is pure sin as Thor plunders his mouth. Breaking apart Loki’s eyes are dark and filled with temptation. As much as Thor wants to see where this goes he also wants to wait until after they can talk, “We are going to continues this after dinner,” he kisses away the frown Loki gives him, “Come on Imp, we can discuss this while I get some food into you.”

Loki rolled his eyes, “Are you going to spank me if I don’t listen?” His eyes sparkled with mirth as he left Thor gaping after him. 

“Keep up the sassy and I just might.” Thor called after him.

Loki’s laugh was rich and filled with promise, Thor just smiles as he grabs the wine and glasses. The look on Loki’s faces is priceless as he sees the food on the table. They side next to each other on a corner, legs idly brushing against one another as they share a look.

“I see you are going to seduce me the old-fashion way.” His voice is light as he takes a bite.

“Would you rather I get a club and drag you back to my cave?” 

“Mmmm … maybe later after I’m too full to put up a fight.”

“Uh huh, everything to your liking?” Thor is still a little nervous with his skills in the kitchen, especially compared to Loki’s.

“Everything is excellent,” Loki takes a sip of wine and glances at Thor, “Relax I’m supposed to be the basket-case.”

“Don’t put yourself down like that,” he grumbles at Loki, “I guess I was worried you’d be freaked out by what you found, that and I didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything.”

“That is sweet of you, pig-headed but sweet. I may not have the best sexual history, but that doesn’t make me a prude.”

“I never thought you were one, this is probably more about my history than yours.” Thor pushes the food around his plate.

“Oh?”

“I had an ex who decided I was a pervert and tried to get me filed as a sex offender.” Thor glances over at Loki and sees amusement on his face.

“Wait, really? Because of the toys or is there more to this story?”

“No, there isn’t much more to the story. I suggested we try bondage and a vibrator and he flipped,” Thor finds himself smiling as Loki practically giggles, “It wasn’t funny at the time, had to go to the local police and explain everything. Thank Norns I had a friend on the force, he thought the whole thing was a prank.”

Loki attempts to keep a straight face as he laughs, “I’m sorry, it’s really not funny … no it is.” He laughs a bit more before he sobers, “Oh that is awful, but it makes me feel slightly better to know you have a crap ex too.”

“Huh, never thought of it that way,” Thor begins to eat again, “So glad my pain is able to soothe you.” Thor winks at Loki and is reward with another laugh.

“The next thing you are going to tell me is that there really is a sex dungeon in your basement.” 

“You wish. No, I have a home brewery down there to test out different beer ideas on a small scale.”

Loki wrinkles his nose, “Well that is completely boring,” he runs his foot up Thor’s leg, “Guess I can deal with a secret sex room instead.”

“Really now? Something in there you like?” Thor voice lowers.

Loki swallows as he goes a bit pink, “Well, to be honest as you might have already guessed I haven’t really … experiment much.” Loki fidgets as he continues, “I … umm … know what everything is, and think I might like a few things.”

“We don’t have to pull out everything tonight. If you’d liked, we can go look at stuff together and see what you’d be comfortable with tonight,” using his foot he drags Loki’s chair closer until he can pull the slighter man onto his lap, “Of course it is all up to you, and you can say stop at any time.”

Loki shifts around until he is straddling Thor’s lap, he leans forward and kisses him, “If there is one thing I’m beginning to hold as a truth is that you will always make sure I am safe and happy.” He runs his hands over Thor’s chest and nips along his jaw, seeking out the spot by his ear, “Now enough talk, I’m feeling adventurous and you can be my tour guide.”

Not bothering to put Loki down, Thor stands and carries him to the other room; groaning as Loki grips him tightly with his thighs as he sucks on his neck. The fall onto the bed together, Thor lands on his back with a very enthused Loki trying to rid him of his shirt. He lets out a pleased hum as he gets it off Thor and runs his nails down Thor’s chest. Flipping them and pinning Loki to the bed, Thor grinds their erections together silencing Loki with a demanding kiss. 

“I thought we were going to spice things up tonight,” Loki’s voice is a purr as he arches up, with a pout.

“So impatient,” Thor murmurs as he nips along Loki’s exposed midriff, “Stop being such a tease, Imp.” Thor stands up, pulling Loki with him, “I was thinking of starting small.” He opens the second drawer down and pulls out a thin chain, “how about these?” He hands the clamps to Loki, letting the other man examine them. 

Looking at the small bit of metal Loki tests it out on a finger, “What if I don’t like it?” 

“Then I take them off and try something else another time.” Thor puts his hands over Loki’s, “Don’t feel you have to try them just for me.”

Loki looks up at him, a heat in his eyes, “No I want to.” He pulls off his shirt and winds his hands around Thor’s neck, “would it kill the mood completely if I asked you to ravish me?” Loki asks as he tosses his head back dramatically.

“Oh, I’ll be sure to ravish you, and despoil, and make your loins quiver.” Thor tells him as he mouths along his collar bone. 

Loki lets out an amused snort that turns into a gasp as Thor pinches his nipples. His rebuttal lost in a wave of arousal as Thor pushes him back onto the bed and climbs over him, “You are wearing entirely too much clothing for this.” Thor growls as he removes the rest of Loki’s clothing.

“You’re wearing just as much,” Loki attempts to pull of Thor’s pants but finds his fingers clumsy as Thor runs his hands up his inner thighs, “you are not playing fairly.” Loki groans finally getting the offending clothing off.

“I never intended to. Now let’s see how if I can make you scream tonight.” With that Thor slides a thigh between Loki’s spread legs as he nips at his chest. Not giving Loki a chance to breath Thor rubs his thumbs over the tight buds, pulling on them slightly. He stops once they are flushed a light pink, then waits until Loki is watching and attached one of the clamps. Loki lets out another breathy gasp and arches his back.

“Too much?” 

“uhh no, just enough.” Loki’s voice is strained as he ruts against Thor’s leg.

“I’m going to put on the other one now.” That is all the warning he gives before attaching the other clamp. Loki whimpers and pushes himself harder against Thor’s leg; his chest is now flushed a rosy red. Thor mouths around his captured nubs, slowly running his teeth and tongue just around the clamps. Pointing his tongue, he runs it over the abused flesh, before grazing his teeth over the tips. Loki howls, fisting the sheets he tries to keep still as Thor teases his aching nipples.

“I’ve fantasized about this,” Thor tugs on the chain as he sucks around the areola, “Wondered if I could get you to cum from this alone again.” He switches sides and listens to Loki’s breath hitch, “Think you can do that for me Imp, cum from this?” Thor tugs on the chain as he skims fingers around tender nipples. Loki pants and squirms, a scream dying on his lips as Thor flicks his thumbs over the abused nubs. His world narrows to the twin pain filled pleasure points on his chest. He whines as he feels heat spreading from the rough treatment. 

Thor blows across the now red and puffy nipples. He stops his ministrations and let’s Loki calm down, then he unclamps both nipples and watches as Loki unravels. He lets out a scream as Thor rubs the too sensitive buds. The orgasm hits him as his scream dies down into a whimper. Thor soothes the poor buds, licking over them and gently sucking. Loki sobs as blood flow returns and he feels another wave of pleasure crash over him. 

“Shhh … I’ve got you.” Thor cradles Loki to him, mindful of his sensitive chest. Loki clings to him as every move seems to pull on his nipples. He cries as the pain recedes and a tingling sets in. It’s almost too much and he can feel himself hardening again. He lets out a hiss as Thor moves and picks him up bridal style. They head toward the bathroom.

“I’m going to run a bath, just sit tight for a moment,” Thor sets him down on the edge of the tub and he watches as Thor begins to fill the massive basin. Thanks to a previous remodeling it’s a large sunken tub, big enough for two. Thor adds some bath oil and tests the temperature before helping Loki into the warm water. He climbs in behind the other man, Loki leans back into him with a sigh.

“That was much more … intense than I thought it would be.” Loki mumbles as he feels Thor pour some water over his chest.

“Good intense or bad?” 

“MMmmm… good. Very good.” Loki turns his head to give Thor a kiss. They take their time mapping out each other’s mouths, a slow slide of lips and tongues. Loki can feel Thor’s erection slide along the curve of his ass. He rubs against it, pulling a groan out of Thor, “Seems like you could use a hand.” He’s stop from reaching behind him as Thor grabs his hips and pulls their groins together.

Thor bites Loki’s shoulder as he thrusts against his ass. Loki lets out breathy moans as he feels the huge member slide against his sensitive rim. He tosses his head back as he tries to meet Thor’s thrusts. A low growl rumbles through Thor’s chest as he feels slick, smooth skin glide against his cock. Reaching around he grabs Loki’s member and begins to rub his thumb over the wet tip. Loki grinds back against Thor, feeling him tense. Feeling his own release closing in Loki reaches between them and gives Thor a few long strokes. Thor is lost as his release washes over him, groans as Loki seems intent of squeezing every last drop out of him. He shifts and finds Loki’s own member is softening too, it seems they both enjoyed that. 

“Was that enough adventure for one night Imp?” Thor lazily asks as he runs hands up and down Loki’s sides.

“It was a start, might need to have another one tomorrow.” Loki rubs his cheek against Thor’s chest, “Although my nipples are off limits for the time being.”

Thor sighs and gently palms the red and swollen chest, “I have some cream to put on them once we get out.” He rubs around the areola, “I’m sorry, might have gotten carried away.”

“Don’t apologize, I enjoyed it. If you couldn’t tell from the screaming orgasm.” 

“I can’t argue with you when you put it that way.”

“I thought my now you’d learn not to argue with me, I always win.” Loki stretches and presses a kiss into Thor’s neck, “We should get out before I get all pruny.” 

“Can’t have that, now can we?” Thor pulls the stopper and grabs the towels, handing one to Loki, “How about a nice movie to cuddle to?”

“Only if I can pick the movie,” Loki wraps the towel around his waist.

“Fine, but it has to be scary.” Thor grins at Loki.

“You do realize we can cuddle without me clinging to you in fear.” 

“True, but then I won’t get to hear all the little shrieks you try to hide.” They walk to the bedroom and find lounge pants.

Loki huffs, “I am agreeing to this under protest,” He begins to cross his arms but thinks better of it with a twinge.

Thor makes a soft noise in his throat and pulls Loki to him, “Let’s go stretch out on the couch and Ill rub some soothing lotion on your chest.”

“You just want to molest me again,” Loki smirks, “Lucky for you I like it.”

Thor kisses him, wiping the smirk off his face, “Of course you do, I am very good with my hands.”

Loki rolls his eyes as he heads for the living room, “Oh so modest too. Can we at least watch a movie that doesn’t have creepy children?”

Thor follows him out, “Aw come on, creepy children are the best. Come play with us.” He turns on the TV as they settling into the plush couch.

“Not funny. Keep this up and I might not play with you for a long while.” Loki snuggles into Thor’s side.

“Well when you put it that way, no creepy children.” 

Thor starts the movie and turns off the lights. Loki presses into his side, not leaving any space between them; and he wonders why Thor likes horror movies so much. Thor pulls Loki into his lap, feeling the other man relax slightly, he settles back into the couch. He knows that more than likely Loki will spend more time curled into his chest than watching the movie and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on WYGMLICAF: The boys have some more fun with toys. Later they encounter something that upends their happiness.
> 
> Question, comments, and concerns are always welcome.


	22. A Ruined Morning in Under 30 Seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone!  
> Sorry it took so long for this chapter. My own Frick and Frack were being super helpful writing it. Now that summer is coming to an end updates will be less often, more like one or two a week.  
> As always I want to thank everyone who is reading this. You all rock hardcore!
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I try to go back through but I know I've missed some.  
> Enjoy!

Loki was fairly certain he was cutting off the circulation in Thor’s arm, he deserved it of course. Not even five minutes into the film and he was ready for it to be over. It was some haunted house found footage movie and Loki clung to Thor’s arm as one of the characters decided to go to the basement. These people were idiots, it would be a miracle if any of them survived the movie. Loki hind his face in Thor’s shoulder as the music became ominous. He let out a pained whimper as the blanket rubbed against his tender nipples. He startles as Thor shifts them until Loki is straddling his lap facing away from the TV.

“Still sore?” Thor asks as he caresses Loki’s chest, “Here let’s see if this help.” He pulls something out of the table next to them. Opening the cap, he squeezes out a thick cream from the tube before turning his attention back to Loki. 

It’s cold as Thor gently begins to apply it to the red and raw nipples. Loki lets out a moan at how good it feels, trying not to arch into the touch, he knows it would only encourage Thor. Thor slowly rubs circles around the abused nubs, making sure he covers the entire area. The soft touches are almost maddening in how good they feel.

“You are going to drive me insane,” Loki’s voice comes out breathy. “keep this up and I going to need you to fuck me.”

“Promises, promises,” Thor whispers in Loki’s ear as he slides one lotion slick finger between his cheeks.

“I am not some randy teenager, that can –ah!” The rest is cut off as that teasing finger enters him with hardly any resistance and all Loki can do is gasp. 

Thor takes the opportunity to claim Loki’s mouth as he teasingly pumps his finger into the squirming man. Forgetting his previous argument Loki pulls Thor closer as he wiggles his hips trying to urge Thor to go faster. Loki wants to growl in frustration as Thor only chuckles and goes even slower, purposely missing Loki’s prostate. Too focused on Thor’s teasing Loki doesn’t notice as Thor rummages in the drawer again. He does however notice when Thor removes his finger and there is hard unyielding pressure against his hole. Loki pulls away from the kiss with a furrowed brow, before he can ask any questions the thing begins to vibrate. Unsure if he wants to grind down or pull away from the buzzing toy Loki finds the decision taken from him as Thor spreads him out across the couch. 

As they move Thor teases around Loki’s rim with the toy, “If I had known this would render you speechless, I’d have tried it ages ago.” Thor briefly pulls the vibrator away, Loki can see that it is a small smooth pink vibrator about 6 inches long with a slight curve and an oval tip, applying some lube to the toy Thor goes back to teasing Loki with it.

Loki tries to find the words to tell him off but finds his mind blanking as Thor presses the toy into him. It shouldn’t feel so big. The stretch of the toy is more than Loki expected and he whimpers. Loki can see that Thor thinks he’s hurt him, and before the other man can pull away Loki pulls him down on top of himself. This has the added benefit of pushing the toy further into Loki. 

“Don’t stop, don’t stop. Ohhhh Thor. Fuck me.” Loki babbles as Thor finds his prostate with the toy. The vibrations go right to Loki’s cock and he sees stars.

Thor shoulders one of Loki’s legs shifting him onto his side, spreading him out more as he fucks the toy into him. Loki babbles at him some more, words falling from his lips without conscious thought. He doesn’t even realize he’s begging Thor for his cock. Thor just smiles and slowly rotates the toy, making sure it is firmly pressed against that little bundle of nerves. Unable to move his hips in his current position, with Thor holding him open, Loki sobs as he feels fluid begin to dribble from his overly sensitive cock.

“That’s it Imp. Let it all out.” Thor suckles at Loki’s sore nipples causing another trickle of cum to spill from him, “I’m going to milk you until you’re empty.” He kisses his way to Loki’s neck, “Then I’m going to fuck into this tight little hole,” He runs a finger around his puffy and sensitive rim, “until the only thing you can remember is my name.” Thor lays a bruising kiss to Loki’s mouth swallowing the moans falling from his lips, “Are you ready?”

Through the fog of arousal Loki realizes that Thor still making sure Loki knows he can stop this, that Loki has the power to say no. Overcome Loki nods as he holds onto Thor’s shoulders; he feels the other man press a kiss to his temple. Then the vibrations increase, and Loki can do nothing but hold on. Time loses all meaning as his world narrows down to the steady buzz and pressure inside of him. He can feel his cock weeping, a steady trickle of cum forced out of him. He sobs as he feels pressure building, his whole-body tensing as he feels his release just out of reach. The hard toy has no give and is a constant heaviness against his overworked nerves. 

Thor palms his balls, rolling them gently, “Just a bit more. You’re doing so well.” Thor runs a hand along Loki’s thigh, whispering words of praise and desire. 

Just when Loki thinks he can take no more the buzzing stops. He shutters as a few last drops of cum leak from his neglected cock; the toy is slowly removed, and Loki feels empty and light. It’s as if he could float away. He’s in a daze as Thor fingers him open some more. The stretch and pull of his rim has Loki tossing his head back. It doesn’t take long before Loki is gasping as Thor thrusts into him.

He feels so full and empty all at the same time. Letting out a moan as Thor swivels his hips and pulls out until just the tip is inside, Loki feels that pressure building again. Thor says something to him, voice pitched low, but Loki can’t understand the words. All he knows is the slow slide of Thor’s cock as it fucks him open. He feels like he’s going to shatter into a thousand pieces as Thor changes his angle and hits his prostate on every thrust. 

The fast and deep penetration makes Loki lose what little breath he has, his mouth falling open in a pant. He claws at Thor as he feels him take his long-ignored cock in his large palm. Thor looks at him with bright eyes and a smirk as he rubs his thumb over the tip of Loki’s cock. Arching almost off the couch and letting out a near silent scream Loki feels himself coming so hard the world dims around him.

##################

In the predawn Loki finds himself awake and cold. Thor is sleeping next to him snoring softly with an arm draped across Loki. He realizes that he doesn’t remember coming to bed. He slides closer to Thor, soaking in the warmth of his body. Thor makes a small noise and pulls Loki against him. The air is chilly, and Loki realizes that plus a few aches are the reason he is awake. He doesn’t really mind as he lays there enjoying the quiet.

The little house on the edge of town was quickly becoming Loki’s favourite place in the world. It was quiet and peaceful. Although his apartment was also quiet, it didn’t have the welcoming feeling and the quiet could feel suffocating. He also could hear sounds of nature while laying in the darkened bedroom. Something he hasn’t heard since staying with his Grandmother. Not only was the house quiet but not have neighbors sharing a wall gave Loki a sense of freedom. He didn’t feel pressure to try and hold back the noise he makes, not that he really did before. The house had been remodeled and Loki could tell that Thor had put a lot of work into it. He felt more at home after a few hours here than he did at his own place. The only thing missing were his twin fluff-balls.

“You do realize it is way too early to be thinking that hard,” Thor’s voice is rough with sleep as he nuzzles into Loki’s neck, “I must be losing my touch if you are still able to worry.”

Loki lets out a derisive snort, “It’s also too early to be fishing for compliments.” He curls into Thor’s chest, “Besides I wasn’t worrying, just cold and achy.”

“You should have woken me sooner,” Thor shifts to get out of bed, but Loki latches onto him, “Imp, I can’t get more blanket if you don’t let me go.” His voice is soft, filled with fondness.

“Just lay here and hold me, you produce enough heat.” 

“You are too tempting for your own good.” Thor wraps his large frame around the smaller man, “Remind me to redress you for bed next time.”

“There is also the option of not fucking me into unconscious.” Loki lets out a small yawn, “it’s makes it very difficult to get post-coitus cuddles when passed out.”

“Ah, the real reason you are up,” Loki can feel Thor’s smile against the back of his neck. “Couldn’t resist molesting me for cuddles,” Thor voice is heavy as he loses the fight for sleep. “No worries Imp, I’ll hold you tight.” His voice trails off as sleep claim him again. Loki finding his eyes closing soon after, and burrows closer before he drifts off.

The next time Loki wakes up he smells coffee and can hear music playing faintly. He also finds that he is buried under about a ton of blankets. Huffing out a laugh he slides to the other side and gets out. The room is freezing to his sleep warmed limbs, he’s about to crawl back under the covers when he notices his clothing at the foot of the bed. There are also some thick socks and a plush sweatshirt with them. Loki smiles as he gets dressed. He makes his way to the kitchen after he freshens up. 

Loki stops in his tracks as he sees Thor is dancing around, singing along to ‘Let’s Dance’. An urge to join in has him sliding across the floor. Thor grabs him as he gets close, pulling their bodies flush he sings ‘put on your red shoes and dance with me’. He dances with Loki across the floor, spinning and dipping him. Loki laughs as they zigzag around the island. The song ends and Thor plants a kiss on Loki’s hand before releasing him.

Thor turns down the music as Loki gets a cup of coffee, “Thank you for the extra clothing. I’d still be in bed without it.” Loki leans his head against Thor’s shoulder as the other man turns off the stove top.

“Darn, next time I’m hiding it all; then you have to stay in bed.” Thor winks at Loki, “Although after last night there is a new house rule.”  
“All sex must happen in the bed?” Loki hazards a guess.

“What’s the fun in that?” Thor looks at him aghast, “No it’s ‘Loki must wear socks to bed’. Your little blocks of ice you call feet are deadly.” Thor shivers as Loki rolls his eyes.  
“So sorry my usual feet warmers were indisposed.” He sips his coffee and follows Thor to the table, “Why didn’t you wake me? I vaguely remember you saying we were going somewhere today.” 

“Sit and eat, we have plenty of time,” Thor waits for Loki to begin eating for he continues. Trying for a casual tone, “I was thinking we could run to your place and pick up Frick and Frack.” He plays with his fork a bit, “Maybe you can gather a few things, you know anything you might need.” Thor glances at Loki as the silences stretches. 

Loki is staring at his own plate as he clears his suddenly dry throat, “Cats are creatures of environment. It wouldn’t be kind to bring them here for just a day.” 

Taking Loki’s hand on the table, “Imp, I’m trying to ask you to spend the week here. With me,” he quickly adds, “that is if you want to.”

The silence after he says this is deafening. Just when Thor is about to make a joke about how he was kidding Loki speaks up, “You’re going to be the one to help carry everything.” His face lights up in a wicked smile, “Also you can be the one to get hellions in their crate.” 

Thor knows that look means trouble later, but he can’t be bothered to care. Loki was agreeing to stay, for awhile.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

Trouble was an understatement Thor later found out. They’d gone to Loki’s apartment for him to pack up the hell beasts and gather things he’d need for the week. Thor had carried cat boxes and a suit case to his truck without complaint. Then he had to actually get the cats into their crate. What followed was the most frustrating game of hide and seek tag Thor had ever engaged in. He’d finally trapped them under the bed only to watch as Frick tried to climb into the box spring. Loki finally saved him by shaking a treat bag and tossing a few in the crate. The cats had eaten their treat and settled down without further issue.

Thor had gaped at them and then at their devious owner, “Why didn’t you do that in the beginning?”

“They needed the exercise,” Loki shrugged as he picked up the crate, “Coming?”

They’d set the cats up in the spare room, Loki saying the smaller space would be better for them at first. Thor sits on the bed and watches as Loki sits on the floor playing with a long string.

“Think they’ll be okay if we head out for a bit?” Thor questions as Frack pounces on the string.

“They should be, plenty of food and water despite what they would have you believe. Are we leaving?” Loki stretches as he stands up. 

Thor can resist running his hands up Loki’s sides and kissing him, “If you’re ready we can go.”

Loki nods in agreement and they head to Thor’s truck. 

The drive takes them outside the city limits. Thor could tell that Loki was anxious to know what they were doing. He watched as the smaller man fidget as he watched the trees pass them by.

“Almost there, just another few minutes.” Thor reaches over and takes Loki’s hand, “Trust me you’ll like this.”

Loki lets out a sigh and visibly tries to relax, “This isn’t going to be a haunted hayride or something of that nature?” Loki narrows his eyes at Thor.

Thor just laughs and squeezes Loki’s hand, “No, that’s next weekend.”

Loki huff and pulls his hand away, “My revenge will be swift and brutal.”

“Of that I have no doubt.” 

Loki rolls his eyes as Thor turns off the road. The new road is unpaved and there are cars parked in a field. A sign by the lot proclaims: **Fall Music, Crafts, and Wine Feast**. Loki sits up in his seat, a look of awe spreading across his face.

“I’ve always wanted to go to a fall feast.” His voice is filled with excitement.

“I was hoping that was the case. I remember you talking about one.”

Thor parks the truck and they get out. The air is crisp with the smell of fried foods and apples. As they walk toward the entrance they link hands and take in the music drifting over the hubbub. There are vendors spread out around the field, the wine tasting sectioned off. At the far end there is a stage set up with a band playing. 

“Should we go get our faces painted?” Thor asks Loki with a bright smile.

Loki arches an eyebrow at that, “Oh sure, why not. I’ve always wanted to be tiger.”

Knowing that Loki was being sarcastic to cover his true feeling Thor take him to get their faces painted anyway. They both laugh and take pictures once they saw each other. Loki with bright orange and black strips and Thor as a panda. After that they wander the fair, listening to the different bands and trying a few of the fall themed food items. Thor notices that Loki eyeing up a few of the craft tables but makes no move to venture closer. Going closer himself he could see that on the craft tables were knitted items. He looks over the hats, scarves, and mittens as Loki picks up what looks to be a shawl. 

He sets it back down with a huff, “the cast-on is too loose, this will unravel within a week.”

“That must be why it cost so much.”

“I could do better.” Loki’s voice is soft, but Thor still hears him.

“Does that mean I’m getting a shawl for Christmas.” Thor teases as they walk away.

“That is mighty presumptuous of you,” Loki gives Thor a smirk, “thinking I have enough yarn and free time to knit a shawl big enough for you.”

Between Loki’s deadpan and the look on his face Thor lets out a loud laugh, “I guess socks will have to do.”

“Just for that I’m knitting you a neon green hat.” 

“Only if it has one of those fluff balls on top.” Thor smirks as Loki rolls his eyes.

“I wonder if I can learn how to knit a muzzle.” 

“I think you just stumbled on your new hobby.”

Loki gives Thor a puzzled look, “I’ve been knitting for years.”

“Yes, and now you can start knitting bondage kits.” 

“You are insufferable.” Loki grumbles at Thor, “Good thing you are cute.”

“I knew you’d like that idea,” Thor pulls Loki toward him for a quick kiss, “come on let’s go see if the apple dumplings are finally ready.”

They spend the rest of the fair sitting together listening to the various bands while sharing an apple dumpling.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

Monday morning was a dark and wet beginning to the work week. They decide to carpool, Thor was due at the gym to meet with Steve and Bucky before the lunch shift and Loki had office work and client meetings all day. It was nice to have someone to share the morning commute with, Thor found it much more enjoyable as he and Loki made plans for dinner that night.

“Why don’t you come in for a bit, since you have about an hour before your workout.” Loki offered as Thor pulled into the office parking lot.

“Does that mean we can play nasty lawyer and demanding client?” Thor asks innocently.

“Not unless you want to have an audience. You should know how nosy everyone here is, especially Tony.” 

They exit the truck and walk the short distance to the office. Jarvis greets them in the lobby, giving Loki a not so subtle nod. Loki just smiles and shakes his head as they walk past. Thor finds Loki’s office warm and inviting, two words he never thought he’d associate with lawyer. Then again Loki is the first lawyer Thor has really gotten to know. He settles down into the chocolate leather love seat as Loki sets up his work space for the day.

“Shall I grab us some coffee?” Thor offers not content to just sit.

“That would be great. Mugs are in the cabinet above the coffee pot. Help yourself to any baked goods.”

Leaving Loki to his morning routine Thor finds the lounge and set about getting some coffee. He snags two muffins on his way back, remembering Loki hasn’t eaten yet. Upon entering Loki’s office, he sees Loki is staring at an envelope in his hands, face draining of all color as his eyes fill with tears. He’s getting that look and is whispering something too quietly for Thor to hear. Thor rushes over, taking the file out of Loki’s hands. Loki lets out a chocked sob and he brokenly repeats, “no no no no …”.

Thor gathers Loki in his arms, Loki tenses until Thor begins to whisper to him, “I’m here Imp. I’ve got you.” Thor keeps his voice calm and low, feeling Loki relax Thor lets out a sigh of relief. 

He flips the envelope over and his stomach drops at what he sees. Picture, dozens of pictures of Loki. Right away Thor knows these are the pictures Loki told him about. Thor attempts to keep his temper under control, he doesn’t want to upset Loki. Sickness claws at him at each new photo is revealed. Then as he flips the last one over rage colors his vision as he holds Loki so tight the smaller man lets out a sound of distress. Thor lax his hold but doesn’t let Loki out of his arms. The last picture is not from that night. It is a candid shot that must have been taken recently, for it is a picture of Loki and Thor holding hands as they walk down a street. A note is taped to the side of the picture: _Does he know you are broken? Don’t forget you are mine._ Dropping the pictures on the desk Thor takes a few deep breathes trying to control the urge to break something. Instead he pulls Loki with him over to the love-seat, holding him close while he pulls his phone out. Hitting a few button Thor waits for his call to connect.

“Bucky, I need favor.” Thor listens to the other man then asks, “Do you still have access to the CIA database? … Yes? … Okay, would you be able to look someone up for me? That would be great. … Name: Stephen Strange, M.D.”

Ending the call Thor finds Loki staring at him, “What are you going to do?” His voice trembles.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Thor picks Loki up not bothering with anything in the office, “I’m taking you home. Jarvis can let the others know you are not feeling well.”

Thor stops only to tell Jarvis Loki will be gone for the rest of the day then he takes him out to the truck. He wants to get Loki back to the house, get him somewhere he feels safe. He’ll call Natasha later and let her know about what happened. That can wait until Loki is settled and the darkness is no longer clouding his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on WYGMLICAF: Thor learns why it's not a good idea to get Natasha mad. Loki has an episode, one so bad Thor fears he can't get him back. 
> 
> Questions and comments are much appreciated.


	23. Listen to my Silent Screams for Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****Warning****  
> There may be some Triggers in this chapter. Nothing explicit but some behaviors as the result of abuse.
> 
> So I had every intention of post this chapter days ago ... and then my body decided it had been too long without a migraine. Sorry for the long wait! Fingers (and toes) crossed I get time this weekend to play catch up.   
> Thank you to everyone reading this!   
> Enjoy!

There are not too many things that truly scared Thor. The way Loki was behaving on the way back to the house did scare Thor, a lot. The other man was sitting up, completely rigid, and staring out the windshield. Thor kept glancing at him, straining his ears to try and determine what he was mouthing. Loki wasn’t responding to anything Thor said, it was like having a statue in the front seat. The thing that scared Thor the most was Loki’s reaction when he tried to touch him. Touch had always been what pulled Loki back to himself, this time it was as if it locked him away.

Thor had tried to take Loki’s hand as he drove, unlike any time before Loki didn’t link their fingers and give him a small squeeze. This time Loki had screamed and began to cry, “Please no. Don’t touch me.” He pushed himself as far away from Thor as possible on the cab bench, curling into himself until he was a small ball. It was so abrupt and discomforting that Thor almost pull the truck to the side of the road. Thankfully, Loki calmed down once he realized Thor had removed his hand. Thor worried what to do once he got Loki home, would the other man allow contact if he realized it was Thor. Would he recognize Thor? How far has he slipped into his mind? 

These and so many other questions circled Thor’s mind. He turned into the driveway and turned off the truck. Sitting in the heavy silence Thor waited a few moments to see if the change in motion had any influence on Loki. Sadly, there was no movement from the other man. Thor was about to call out to him again when his phone went off. Moving to send the call to voicemail he saw it was Natasha and answers it instead as he gets out of the truck.

“Please tell me you are at your place.”

“Yes, just pulled in. I take it you saw.”

“That sick fuck. I knew something happened before he left, but this … this is too much. How is he? I tried his phone, but it is here with his computer.” 

Thor can hear the hurt and anger in her voice. 

“I wanted to get him out of there and into a place that didn’t have any association with that bastard. I’m worried about him, he’s … he freaked when I tried to touch him in the car.”   
The line is quiet for a moment, then Natasha lets out a weary sigh.

“He was like that just after Strange left. He wouldn’t eat, sleep, or even talk to us. He walked around like a ghost, any sudden movement would have him flinching. We all were afraid he was going to waste away in front of us; it’s why we tried to get him help. See what he went through … I don’t know … I knew it was bad but these pictures … why didn’t he tell us?”

Thor can guess as to why Loki never said anything, some combination of shame and self-loathing. Glancing over his shoulder he sees that Loki hasn’t moved from his spot, eyes staring at nothing. 

Thor doesn’t even care that his voice is unsteady when he answers.

“I thought you knew. Does that mean Strange has been a free man all this time?”

Anger coils in his stomach at the thought. This piece of shit has been walking round untroubled by the ruin he has wrought. This will not continue, Thor will make sure of it. There is no way he is going to let that bastard continue to torment Loki.

“If I had known Strange would be locked away. Somewhere a person like him would get all the wrong kinds of attention. One with inmates who would love to hear all about his little experiments, and then use him as the test subject. Damnit, I should have never let that man leave the country.”

The venom in her voice makes Thor very glad they are on the same side.

“We will have to continue this conversation later. I need to get Loki inside.”

“Of course, I have people looking for Strange, they are also watching your house and Loki’s apartment. I’ll let you know if he turns up. Keep me updated on Loki.”

“Thanks, I will.”

Disconnecting the call, he glances around his street, nothing seems out of place. He’s not sure how to feel about Natasha sending someone to watch them, but those are concerns for later. Now he needs to see if he can get Loki settled. Thor pockets his phone as he walks to Loki’s side. Opening the door slowly, he hears Loki let out a small sound of anguish. Thor desperately wants to take Loki into his arms, make all this pain go away. Oh, how he wishes he could find Strange and make him pay. Things had been going so well. Loki was healing, and their relationship was flourishing. Now, now Thor was worried to even touch the other man. The door is between them, Thor wants to give Loki room.

“Loki, Imp? Come inside.” Thor voice is soft, and he keeps his request simple, remembering from somewhere to give concise directions.

Without a word Loki unbuckles himself and slips past Thor. He walks to the door and stops, waiting. Thor’s not sure if this is progress. He locks the truck and joins Loki on the porch. They step into the house, and Loki wonders to the living room as Thor shuts and locks the door. He watches as Loki stands in the middle of the room, head down and body tense.

His voice is so quiet Thor almost doesn’t hear him, “Why? Why is he back? Why did he do it?”

Thor walks over to the living room and stands in front of him. It’s a physical ache, the need to hold Loki, but he keeps his hands at his sides. Loki looks at him with tear filled eyes, a tremble goes through his body, and then he is pressed against Thor. Wrapping his arms around the smaller man, Thor lets him cry. Loki cries and clings to Thor, becoming almost hysterical as he babbles: asking Thor not to leave him, asking for forgiveness, telling him he’s sorry to get him involved.

Soon he goes quiet, voice barely a whisper. Thor continues to hold him, one hand around his waist and the other cupping the back of his neck, “This wasn’t your fault. There is nothing to forgive, and I’m not going anywhere.” 

Loki’s quiet for a time. They stand there for a bit longer before Loki is pulling away, “You never got breakfast. I’ll go take care of that.”

Thor is confused by the abrupt change. Loki slips out of his arms and is gone into the kitchen before Thor can question him. The look in his eyes makes the blood in Thor’s veins run cold. His eyes are dull and red rimmed, none of the usual mirth and warmth present. More than that it’s the lifelessness Thor saw, Loki was in that dark place, completely.

There are sounds of drawers and cabinets opening and closing in the kitchen. Typically, the sounds wouldn’t be a cause for concern, but for some reason they make fear crawl up Thor’s spine. Walking into the kitchen he isn’t sure what to expect, he finds Loki walking around muttering to himself. Thor approaches him, trying to make enough noise to not scare the other man. As he gets closer he sees that Loki has gather some cookware and food but is just staring at it as he walks.

“Loki?” Thor stops a few steps away from the other man, “What are you doing?”

Loki doesn’t respond as he seems to come to some sort of decision and begins to put items back. Thor steps closer as Loki pulls out a knife, walking to the other man Thor stops at his side, “How about we make some sandwiches? They are quick and easy, and we can eat them on the couch.” Thor is unprepared for Loki’s reaction.

“Please, I can do this,” his voice is small as he curls into himself, “You don’t need to help me.”

The way Loki says help makes Thor think it would be any help he’d ever offer. 

“Okay, we won’t cook. There’s toast and I’ll put some coffee on.” Thor shifts slightly closer to Loki to reach the coffee maker.

“No Please!” Loki whimpers as he clutches the knife, “Please don’t, I’m sorry. I’ll work faster.” 

As he beings to cut up some vegetables Thor fears he’ll end up slicing his hand again. He’s actions erratic and shaky. Not wanting a repeat of the last time Thor waits until Loki gets to the end and sets the knife down. He quickly grabs it and moves the knife block away. Loki freezes and gives Thor a look of pure terror. He lets out a broken sound, as he moves to take off his shirt and turns around. Thor can only stare as it dawns on him, Loki’s scars. He drops the knives in the sink to deal with later. The sight before him is enough to make tears well in his eyes. Loki stands still, waiting for the first slice. He’s clutching his shirt to his chest, head down and long hair covering his face. Thor moves to him, places a hand on his shoulder.

“Imp, no. I will never hurt you,” Thor feels Loki stiffen under his hand, “No more. Come on Loki, let’s get out of here.”

As Thor places his other hand on Loki’s shoulder, Loki lets out a sob and crumbles to the floor. He presses himself into the wall behind him, making himself small and covering his head. Thor drops down next to him, not touching but close enough. He sits down next to the smaller man, putting his own back against the wall they sit in silence.

Some time later Thor stands and stretches his cramped muscles. Loki is back int the almost catatonic state, neither works or contact gains a response. Thor picks the other man up, finding him too light even as he remains a dead weight. He carries him to the bed room, not wanting him cold and stiff on the kitchen floor. Once Thor has him tucked into bed he lets out a bittersweet smile as Frick and Frack make themselves comfortable around the tightly curl Loki. 

Thor pulls out his phone and finds Wanda’s number. Loki gave it to him ‘in case of an emergency’ and this felt like an emergency. The call rings a few times before a softly accented woman’s voice greets him.

“Dr. Maximoff’s office. How may I help you?”

“I’m calling about a patient of yours, Loki Laufeyson.”

“You must be Thor. Everything okay?”

“No, that’s why I’m calling. Loki’s in a nonresponsive state, and before that he was … he had an episode.”

“Where is he now?”

“I put him to bed, he’s just laying there.”

“I have something that should help. I’ll be over with it, are you at Loki’s?”

“No, my place. I can text you the address.”

“Thank you, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you.”

“See you soon.”

Thor hangs up the phone and goes back to the bedroom. Loki hasn’t move, but he’s at least closed his eyes. Thor sits next to him and waits.

+_+_+_+_+

Across town in Wanda’s office she puts her phone down with hands that shake. She doesn’t take her eyes off the man seated at her desk. He’s lazily looking through a file: Laufeyson, L. He smirks at the woman as he turns a page. He showed up about an hour ago and demanded her assistance with what he called a _little research_. She’d blatantly refused him at first, until he gave hear a reason to cooperate fully.

“Thank you my dear. That was perfect,” he reaches into a bag at his feet and pulls out a bottle of pills, “Once you hand these over, I will release that snarky little brother of yours. Just in time to, he was beginning to become a bore.” Strange closes the file and regards the woman.

“You better not have hurt him.” She glares at the man as she snatches the bottle away.

“Now my dear, I did nothing to physically harm your beloved brother; and I will continue to refrain from physical harm as long as you deliver those.” He gives her a smile, one that would be beautifully charming on anyone else, “Oh and before I forget, wear this.” He hands her a small pin, “This will be recording you, audio and visual, so no fooling around.” He moves closer and grips her chin, forcing her to look at him, “Remember Dr. Maximoff, if you don’t want a drooling, sex crazed, toddler for a brother than you’d better not screw this up.” He releases her chin and gives her another dazzling smile as he walks to the door, “I’ll be watching.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that what Wanda did was not realistic. She'd never give a prescription to anyone but a patient, and even then it would be after observations. Although she wasn't given a choice this time.
> 
> Next time on WYGMLICAF: What's in the bottle? Also a peek into the mind of one Dr. Stephen Strange ... 
> 
> Comments are always welcomed and much appreciated!!


	24. From Man to Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****Warning*****  
> Discussion of mental torture and non-con drug use.  
> Also a very evil portrayal of Dr. Strange.
> 
> Hey Everyone,  
> So this is a peek into the mentality of Dr. Strange. Yes he seems very ooc but his background is different than canon and other opportunities presented themselves. Thank you to everyone reading this! You all rock!  
> Enjoy!

Everything hurt. It wasn’t a physical hurt, no it was so much more than that. Loki's head was pounding as he fought against the voice telling him he was worthless. It took so much to not give in. He knew on some level that he was safe and with Thor, that didn’t stop the thoughts or urges. Ever since he saw the pictures and Stephen’s note, he was battling all those all habits again. It harder than before, the voice was telling him he was weak, that he’s displeased Thor and wasn’t corrected for it. It hurt to ignore the voice, it hurt so much he couldn’t do anything but close his eyes and fight against it. He could do this. He could put a stop to all this mental anguish, just ignore it. The voice wasn’t him, it was Stephen, and he no longer matter. Knowing this and believing this were to separate things, and Loki didn’t yet believe it. Feeling the warm of Thor nearby Loki knew the voice was wrong. He wasn’t weak, now he just had to prove it to himself.

Despite appearance Loki was semi aware of his surroundings. He knew Thor had put him to bed and was sitting with him. What hurt was how distant Thor was being. Probably because of Loki’s actions, Norns how he hated Stephen. The worst part was Loki knew this was only beginning. Stephen was back and had plans for Loki. He needed to warn Thor, needed to talk to Natasha and the others. He wasn’t worried about himself, but a fear gripped him over what Stephen could do to Thor. Now he just needed to pull himself together before Stephen made his next move. 

+_+_+_+_+

The ringing of his phone startled Thor from his thoughts. He had been watching Loki, hoping for him to sit up and tell Thor he was going to be okay. Thor glances at the screen and sees that Bucky is calling him back, not a call he expected so soon.

“That was fast” Thor answers without preamble.

“What the fuck did you get yourself into?” Bucky’s voice is a low hiss, “How the hell are you involved with Strange?”

Thor has heard Bucky angry plenty of times, but he’s never heard him so worried, “He’s Loki’s ex.”

There is silence on the other end before Bucky’s cursing, “Shit Thor, Loki is lucky to be alive.”

It’s Thor’s turn to be silent, he can’t help the hand that settles on Loki’s hip. He needs a reminder that Loki is still there, “What did you find out?” Thor’s own voice is rough.

Bucky lets out a heavy sigh, “Where do I start? He’s on a few criminal watch lists.”

Thor sucks in a breath, this is not what he was expecting, “Are you sure this is the same guy?”

“Dr. Stephen Vincent Strange, 44 years old, graduated of Columbia University with a M.D. and Ph.D. he was a renowned neurosurgeon until a car accident left him with severe nerve damage in his hands. He lived in the states until about 4 years ago when he moved to India. Sound about right?”

“That’s him, so what are you not telling me?”

“It appears that after his accident Strange apparently obsessed over nerve damage and treatment. He went into experimental drug testing. He was looking for a fix for his hands and wasn’t too picky about who his test subjects were. Then he began to experiment on patients at the hospital. He wasn’t successful, but he did find a drug that paralyzed a person without removing sensation. There was also a drug that removed a person’s higher brain functioning, anyone taking it would do anything they were told to do. Around this time an investigation into a few patient deaths was being conducted at the hospital. Strange was the main suspect, before they cold take him in for questioning he disappeared. And then the really fucked up shit happened.” Bucky pauses and takes a breath, “this next bit isn’t pretty.”

Thor stands up and leaves the room, he doesn’t want the possibility that Loki could over hear, “Go ahead, I need to know.”

“Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Strange has friends in high places, he’s known as the Sorcerer Supreme for his ability to manufacture behavior and mind-altering drugs for crime lords. He was given his own research facility in India and was tasked with finding ways to increase a person’s response to stimulus as well as making them receptive to suggestion; among many other projects. Despite the number of deaths associated with his center his research continued. He began to practice surgery again. He’d use a combination of brain tissue removal and drugs to get results. His death rate increased, but it was like he was untouchable. Then, about six months ago, one of his patients turned out to be the son of a British diplomat. He fled the country and was off the radar until your call.” 

“Shit Bucky.” Thor doesn’t say anything else too stunned.

“Listen Thor, the FBI office have people out looking for him. They have no leads and there is nothing indicating Strange is even back in the states. They had about given up finding him until I put my search in, now they want to question me. I left your and Loki’s name out of it, but I have to tell you they are desperate to find him.”

“Damn Bucky, I didn’t mean for you to get involved in this.” 

“I don’t really mind. Just don’t tell Steve, but seriously Thor this Strange is scary in his own right plus has the backing of someone with connections and really deep pockets. It might be best for you and Loki to find a place to lie low until he is found. Hell, you can use my cabin.”

Thor paces his living room, “I don’t know Bucky. That feels like running away.”

“Who the fuck cares? Thor this is a man who has no qualms about killing those who get in his way. From all accounts he’s methodical, persistent, and calculated in his pursuits. He’s on the FBI most wanted list for crying out loud. To make it worse he’s after Loki, do you really want to keep him in harm’s way?”

Thor lets out a sigh, “No, I want this all to be over.” He takes a moment to look at Loki curled into a tight ball on the bed, “You know a few days away might be good for him … for us. Do you mind if there are cats in your cabin?”

“Would it be completely inappropriate for me to make a pussy joke right now?” 

“You kiss Steve with that mouth?” 

They both chuckle a bit trying to alleviate some of the tension, “Listen Thor, do me a favor and go to the cabin and keep you both safe. I’ll call in a few days to keep you updated.”  
“Aye thanks Bucky, for everything. I owe you one.”

“Naw, you were there for Steve when I couldn’t be, this is my payment to you. Now get packing and get going.”

Thor ends the call and stares at his phone lost in thought. How the fuck was Loki involved with a man that ended up on the FBI’s most wanted list? More than that how did someone go from helping people to torturing and murdering them? Thor shakes his head feeling uneasy, there was something he was missing, something important that he needs to remember. Thor gives up on the thought for the time being as the doorbell rings, that must be Wanda to see Loki. Good, they can have a session while Thor packs and calls Natasha.

+_+_+_+_+

It is surprisingly easy to get people to do what you want. All you really need to do is find what they value most and destroy it. The trick is making them think there is a chance for them to save their beloved. Take the good pseudo-doctor, she is continuing under the delusion that she’ll get her brother back. Exactly as he was before. Now that’s not to say she’ll never see him again, he’ll just be a little less … rambunctious. Honestly, he is much easier to deal with now, not so mouthy. Alas, he will not be in my care long enough to see if these changes are permanent. 

On the bright side Loki shall soon be returned to my care. I really should thank him. His selfish neediness was key in my career change. Too bad I did not realize his full potential until it was too late, pity. Of course, now he has charmed some Neanderthal into his bed. No matter, he seems easy enough to mentally outmaneuver; what with being a simple bar owner. Oh Loki, how far you’ve fallen. I really should have kept tabs on you better, such a beautiful disaster I’ve created of your fractured mind. Soon though, soon we shall see just how many of your … behavioral modifications have reminded.

+_+_+_+_+

Stephen watches the monitor he has set up in his newest lab. It’s not as brightly lit or spacious as he is used to, but sacrifices had to be made. He ignores the people around him setting up equipment and monitoring the blonde hair man strapped to a table. It is going according to plan as Wanda and proceeds to administer a dose of the new meds as she explains the dosages to the Neanderthal. It will probably take a few doses for them to fully take effect, but that gives Stephen time to finish setting up the lab. Done with the monitor Stephen moves to go back to observing the barely competent lab techs when he hears Thor is taking Loki away.

His first reaction is rage, how dare this idiot ruin all his planning. Then the realization that they will be away from all witnesses and suddenly this getaway sounds perfect. The bottle has a GPS tracker embedded in the lid, although Thor is so utterly naïve he tells Wanda the location. Stephen wouldn’t even need to wait for the venom to build up in Loki’s system before getting him back. This thought is very appealing. With this development Stephen would be able to observe the toxins’ consequences in person. That decided he needs to get the lab techs moving faster; the lab needs to be ready for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on WYGMLICAF: Remembering what was forgotten and unwelcome visitors.
> 
> Comments and questions are always welcome!


	25. Fixing Mistakes and Making Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like I haven't updated in forever. So sorry!!!! Life got super crazy at the end of August. The good news is I have a new job (my dream job)! The bad news is I am dead tired all the time from getting use to the new routine and stuff. The other issue was I had been struggling with how to get from point A to point W in this story. After scrapping my old timeline I think I am back on track.  
> That being said I am making this story have a deadline. To keep myself from being a slacker updates will now be every Sunday. Please know I will NEVER abandon a fic! Might not always updated it in a timely manner but it will be finished.  
> As always a big thank you to everyone reading this fic! Your kudos and comments keep me going!  
> Enjoy!!

The drive through the mountains was something out of a movie. Without other vehicles on the tree lined road, it was picture perfect with the autumn colours and a bright blue sky. The array of reds, oranges, yellows, and browns would have been cheerful if not for the oppressive anger Thor was trying to keep in check. He thumps his fist lightly on the steering wheel as he berates himself once again for his foolishness. Glancing over at the sleeping man leaning back on the set next to him, Thor silently values to make up for the pain he’s caused Loki. He pauses as the sleeping man shifts, only to settle down again. They should be arriving to the cabin soon and Thor can make sure Loki will be safe. Forever.

*****8 hours previously*****

The sick feeling that settles in the pit of Thor’s stomach only gets worse as he talks to Wanda. He doesn’t know the woman well enough to be certain, but she isn’t acting how he had envisioned she would. Watching her Thor knows something is wrong; she seems on edge and her hands shakes as she tries to get Loki to swallow one of the pills. What really sets his teeth on edge is her forcing the pill into Loki’s mouth, completely disregarding his wishes. Loki was coming around as Thor walks into the room. He stops short as he watches the therapist hold down Loki and forces him to drink something after she had placed the medicine on his tongue. Her behavior completely at odds with everything he had learned about the therapist. She looks over her shoulder at him as he approached the bed. Her face is drained of all color and she can’t seem to meet his eyes. She turns away from him as she smooths the covers over a now docile Loki. Thor clenches a fist in irritation at her manhandling of Loki.

“I gave him the first dosage, he’ll be a little out of it until his body adapts to the new drugs. Give him another dosage in six hours, this should help keep him calm.” Her voice is deceptively tranquil, almost lacking emotion. Thor gives her a nod as she hands him the bottle; but frowns as he notices there isn’t a label. Seeing his frown Wanda explains, “This is a starting sample of anxiety meds. I have a few in the office for emergencies. If they work I will set Loki up with a prescription for a refill.” Thor silently watches as she glances around the room, a look of fear in her eyes. 

“How long will this sample last, I want to take Loki away for a few days,” 

Wanda briefly meets his eyes and gives him a minute shake of her head when he reaches for it, “Oh that’ll be nice for him,” she stands up almost dropping her purse and fumbles her keys, “I am sorry I can’t stay longer and monitor him. I have a client meeting soon and do not want to leave them waiting.” She meets Thor’s eyes before cutting hers back to the bed, “call me if you have any problems or questions."

“I will, luckily we get reception at Lake Meade. A buddy of mine is letting us barrow his cabin. I’m hoping the fresh air and quiet will help Loki.” Thor’s not sure why he lies about their destination, “Thank you for coming over, I will let you know if anything changes.”

Wanda gives Thor one last searching look as they walk to the door. She opens her mouth and seems about to say something but only gives him a wane smile before making her exit. Thor locks the door behind her and stares at the bottle of pills. Alarm bells are going off in his head as he opens the bottle and dumps a few in his hand. They seem ordinary enough, a gel capsule filled with an off-white powder. Still Thor feels there is something wrong; he isn’t given time to process this thought as he hears a thump from the bedroom. Dropping the bottle in his haste to get back to Loki, Thor pays no attention to the bottle as it rolls under the couch.

Entering the bedroom, Thor notices Frick and Frack perched on the bed; twin glares are directed his way as he drops to where Loki is on the floor. Somehow, he knows the cats are right in blaming him for their person’s current distress. Shifting his full attention to the other man Thor’s heart stops as Loki lets out a pained moan. He’s twisted up in the bedding and laying on his stomach. He seems to be trying to untangle himself but is unable to get his limbs to cooperate. 

“Loki,” Thor says his name in a whisper, he swallows a gasp as pain filled green eyes lock onto his own, “hey, let’s get you out of this mess.” Keeping his voice even, Thor reaches over and shifts Loki into a sitting position. The sense of wrongness intensifies as he feels how heavy and limp Loki is, there is barely and movement from the man as Thor shifts him around, worse Loki doesn’t seem to be able to keep his head up. 

Staring into Loki’s unblinking terrified eyes Thor feels the floor drop from under him. All the little clues suddenly align: the pictures with the note, Wanda’s odd behavior, the pills, and now Loki’s immobility. Strange set it all up. Thor doesn’t know how exactly, and it doesn’t really matter. Strange has been pulling strings and setting up some fucked-up plan in motion since his return. And Thor played right into it. That is going to end. Now.

Not pausing to second guess himself Thor picks up Loki gently before placing him in the bathroom tub. There is a massive med kit under his sink, one his mother insisted he have and he will forever be grateful to her. Pulling it out, he rummages through it until he finds the items he needs.

Returning to Loki’s side he doesn’t notice any changes. Loki looks almost grey in the harsh lights of the bathroom, he stares unblinking at the ceiling and Thor swallows his fear. He opens on of the bottles with him and pulls out an eyedropper, “Hold on Imp. I am going to fix this.” He lifts Loki up and tilts his head back slightly and squeezes the eyedropper. Once empty he rubs along Loki’s neck getting him to swallow. “I should never have let her give you anything, with any luck this should help get it out of your system.”

He turns Loki on his side facing away and waits. It doesn’t take long before the other man lets out a quiet moan and is coughing up bile. Thor holds him through it, “That’s it. Get it all out.” He tries to hold Loki’s hair out of his face, he feels tears in his eyes as Loki takes a deep breath, “Almost over. I still have you.”

A shutter goes through Loki’s body as he lifts his head, “Thor?” His voice is little more than a croak. He looks back at the other man, “Don’t know which tastes that stuff you used or my mouth now.”

Thor lets out a sob as he gathers Loki to him, “I’ll get you some water, and some clean clothes.” Thor lifts him out of the tub, not wanting to leave him in the sick. He set him against the wall and grabs the cup of water, “I have some activated charcoal, do you feel comfortable take it?”

Loki’s body shakes as he leans against the wall, and he gives a wobbly nod, “Yeah, I trust you.”

Thor ignores the tears that fall with Loki’s words. He gives Loki the charcoal and lets him sip some water before he feels he can trust his voice, “You shouldn’t.” He hangs his head, “Without me you wouldn’t be in this mess.” 

“Hey none of that,” Loki’s voice is still raspy but firm, “You did want I had asked you to.” 

“I should have stopped her. I shouldn’t have even agreed to the pills in the first place.” Thor moves away, his guilt making him antsy. He runs water in the tub, using another cup to wash away the sick. Loki lets out a little grunt of frustration and says something he can’t hear over the sound of the water.

“THOR!” Loki voice cracks as he shouts to get the other man’s attention, “By the Norns, stop being a pigheaded oaf and listen!” There is color high on Loki’s cheeks as he glares at the other man, “You are not to blame for this. You did what I want –“

“That doesn’t …”

Loki’s glare hardens, “Let me finish,” He gives Thor a small smile as the other man closes his mouth, “As I way saying, you did everything right. I was too deep in my own head and you were still there taking care of me. It’s not your fault my bastard of an ex seems to have watched too many Bond movies and thinks he’s a super-villain mad scientist.” 

They share a chuckle at that and Thor feels the tight feeling in his chest lessen a bit, “I still feel like I could have done more.” 

Loki rolls his eyes with a fond smile. “I think you did more than you know,” Loki lets out a sigh, “Now can you please get me out of these clothes?”

“I’m not sure you should be flirting right now.” Thor deadpans.

Loki stops and lets out an exasperated sound, “Remind me to punch you later … hard.”

Thor shakes his head with a grin, “Of course, you know how much I love foreplay.”

*****Now*****

The cabin is situated in a wooded area, barely noticeable until almost right on top of it. The road leading to it is flattened earth and not the smoothest ride. Thor has traveled it a few times before and doesn’t miss the sharp turn off from the main road. He spares a glance next to him as the truck hits a bump along the road. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to wait his passenger. There are a few more uneven patches in the road but none as deep. Finally, the cabin comes into view and Thor parks the truck. Stepping out of the cab Thor stretches from the long drive and locks the truck as he looks around the property. Everything is as Bucky said it would be, the generator is filled, and a gas canister is in the shed. The shed is stocked with everything Bucky said it would be; which makes Thor glad for once his friend is over prepared as ever.

The cabin itself is clean if a little musty smelling. It’s a simple layout with an open area with a kitchen, living area and wood stove. There are three doors, two bedrooms and a bath. Thor checks all the rooms and once again finds everything as it should be. He lets a small smile grace his lips as he heads back to the truck to unload.

*****6 Hours Ago*****

Once Loki is in clean clothing and situated on the couch Thor goes about packing for a few days away. He listens as Loki snarks with Natasha on the phone. She had found Wanda’s office empty. There was no sign of the woman or a struggle, which did nothing to alleviate the worry everyone seemed to be feeling. Loki was convinced it was all this fault Wanda was involved and Natasha was trying to convince him he wasn’t responsible for Stephen’s actions. It was eerily similar to the conversation he had with Loki not too long ago. If Natasha couldn’t talk sense into him than Thor would remind him of their own conversation.

He was walking by the couch when an orange blur almost tripped him. Trying not to step on the cat Thor heard a crunch as his foot landed on the thing Frick had been playing with. Looking down he sees slivers of orange and white plastic with white powder. Not wanting the cats to get in the pills Thor is about to get the dust pan when he notices a flash of red. Crouching down he shifts through the plastic until he sees a small black disk blinking red. The small bit of tech confirms they were dealing with someone with connections. At first Thor almost crushes the small disk, then realizes that might not be the best idea. Putting it on the coffee table Thor cleans up the mess.

He paces in the kitchen thinking through his options. He knows the house is being watched, Natasha’s people somewhere close. He also knows a man like Stephen Strange wouldn’t be deterred by that. He’d probably be in and the house before Natasha’s people even realized it. Thor has dealt with people like Stephen Strange all his life, people who feel everyone else is beneath them. People who have an inflated view of themselves. People who think they control every aspect of their lives. Thor stops his paces as an idea begins to form in his mind. He knows from what Loki has said Stephen thinks everyone is incompetent and typically doesn’t trust anyone to do what he considers important tasks. Loki was Stephen’s pet project for years, he would be important. Thor is disgusted by this but knows he can use it to his advantage.

Walking into the living room he smiles as his plan forms in his mind, “Loki, you still on the phone with Natasha?”

*****Now*****

  
It doesn’t take long for Thor to unload the truck, he didn’t pack more than a single duffel bag. Leaving his sleeping companion for the time being he starts a fire in the wood stove before emptying his bag onto the table. He organizes everything to his liking then takes his bag to get the rest of what he needs from the shed. Once he is back in the main room Thor double checks he has everything he needs. Content with what he finds Thor walks back to his truck to get his companion inside.

The body slumped in the chair is held upright by a few ropes wrapped around the torso. The ropes are a rough twine that chafes the skin even if the person isn’t moving. His wrists and bare forearms are tied behind the back of the chair leaving him at an awkward angle. Walking around the chair Thor inspects his work, he tightens a rope around the left leg before he feels it is ready. Standing in front of the dark-haired man Thor lets the anger he’s been containing loose. With a dark smile Thor reaches back and punches the man. The sound of his nose breaking is loud in the small cabin. It is quickly followed by a pained groan. Watery eyes blink open and another sound of discomfort fills the small room.

Grabbing the dark hair Thor lifts the disoriented man’s head up, “It’s time to wake up Stephen.” Thor’s voice is a quiet purr. His smile widens as the man tries to pull away, “you and I need to have a little chat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poisoned Facts:  
> 1.The drug Thor uses is syrup of ipecac. For the longest time it was the go to med for poisoning. Recently it has been found to not be as effective as originally thought. Which is why I also added the activated charcoal.  
> 2\. Wanda and Pietro will be fine. 
> 
> Next time on WYGMLICAF: Thor and Stephen have a little talk. Warning: Dark Thor


	26. Torturous Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is not as wholesome or naive as Strange believes. In fact he's much scarier than Strange realizes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all you beautiful fanfic readers!  
> I am so overjoyed to have so many people checking out this story. I am so sorry this was not posted last week. Not to over share, but there was a sudden death in the family. They are out of pain now so it is for the better.  
> On the bright side this is a nice long chapter ... well maybe not nice which leads us to the warnings ...
> 
> *****WARNING*****  
> Dark Thor, torture, inappropriate reactions to torture. That should be it. Please skip this chapter if you might be triggered. I will say that Dr. S is the only one tortured.
> 
> Finally Thank you for all your kudos and comments!! They make me want to write more!

*****5 Hours Ago*****

“No.”

The word is bitten off and firm, it leaves no room of argument. Loki narrowed his eyes at the other man, ready to argue anyway, “This is insane! You shouldn’t even be involved in this mess!” Loki’s voice is still rough but strong and unwavering, “I can’t have you putting yourself at risk.”

Thor’s eyes soften as Loki glares at him. They have been arguing ever since Thor had shared his plan with Loki. Neither was willing to back down. Thor was adamant that Loki not be involved and stay with Natasha until it was all over. Loki however was determined that Thor not put himself at risk. 

“Imp, you are worrying needlessly. Strange will be his own undoing,” Thor cups Loki’s cheek as he sits down next to him on the couch, “It was my foolishness that brought him this close. I cannot allow him to continue with his torment of you.” He shifts closer to the other man until he can wrap an arm around him. The sit in silence for a few moments.

Loki lets out a sigh, “That is where you are wrong; this is all my fault.” His voice is bitter.

Thor shifts them, so he can meet Loki’s eyes, “No, we are both wrong this is all Strange’s fault.” Thor smiles as Loki’ rolls his eyes but nods once in agreement.

“I still don’t like this. How do you know he’ll be alone?” Loki grips Thor’s hands, “Or that he’ll even be there?”

“Trust me, I know how men like Strange think.” Thor leans over and places a gentle kiss on Loki’s lips, “Do not worry, I promise this will be over soon.”

Loki huffs but his eyes aren’t as hard, “Promise me you’ll be okay? I need you to come back,” Loki lets a small smirk grace his lips, “Frick and Frack would miss you too much.”

Thor pulls Loki to his feet, “I’ll be back before they even realize I’m gone.” He kisses Loki then, one that despite the lack of tongue gets heated. Both men trying to convey their feelings without words. It ended abruptly as they heard the front door open. Thor shifts until he is standing in front of Loki, who is not sure if he should feel protected or annoyed.

“Relax Odinson, it’s just me,” Natasha voice is amused, “you can stand down now.”

“Most people would knock.”

“Good thing none of us are most people,” she holds out her hand, holding a large black case, “here, you didn’t get this from me.”

Thor takes the case and nods his thanks, “Of course, this never happened.” He turns back to Loki, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He runs his hand down Loki’s arm and holds his hand, “try and stay out of trouble,” he glances back at Natasha, “regardless of what she might suggest.”

Natasha scoffs as Loki just rolls his eyes, “I don’t like this, but I’m not going to lie and say I won’t be relieved when you are finished. I just ask one thing.”

“Anything,” Thor doesn’t hesitate.

Loki faces hardens as a cold smile crosses his lips, "Make it hurt.”

“Gladly.”

*****Now*****

“Unhand me, you ignorant lout!” Strange’s voice is filled with indignation. He glares up at Thor through the tears and blood, managing to look calm. He has the air of a man not used to being denied, “It would be in your best interest for you to untie me.”

Thor chuckles as he moves a chair in front of Strange, “Why Doctor, you of all people should know not to piss off the one holding the sharp implement.” Thor holds ups a scalpel as he settles into the chair, “Wouldn’t want to accidently drop it,” Thor leans forward resting the blade against Strange’s pant leg, “dirty floor and all.”

“You dare threaten me?” His eyes narrow in anger and disbelief before he lets out a dark laugh, “you have no idea who you are messing with.” Strange gives Thor a smug smile.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Thor points the scalpel blade toward the floor as he watches the other man’s eyes track its movement. “I’m afraid dear doctor, that it is you who has no idea.” With that Thor flicks his wrist. 

The blade doesn’t make a sound as it sinks into the top of Strange’s foot. The man’s eyes widened as he registers what happened. He lets out a grunt as a flair of pain hits him and he struggles in his bonds, “Fool! That was your fatal mistake!” Strange gets a manic look in his eyes as he shouts, “I was going to let you live, if only to watch as I completely took apart your poor little _Imp_.” That smug smile is back on his face as he spits the last word out.

Thor can see that Strange believes he’s gained the upper hand, and he’ll lets him believe it. Playing into the man’s ego will calm him enough to make it all the sweeter in the end. Putting a look of outraged shock on his face, he grabs Strange and hisses, “What did you say?!” Making sure his voice has a touch of fear.

Strange chuckles at him, “Did you really think I wouldn’t know all about your sordid affair?” Despite being physically lower he manages to look down his nose at Thor, “really I feel that you owe me a wealth of gratitude.” Strange’s smile is nothing short of vile, “If not for me, he’d had never been _pathetic_ enough to steep so long as to date you.” He slowly drags his eyes down Thor’s body, “What does he see in you?” He adds almost as an afterthought, voice light and almost teasing.

Thor doesn’t even need to pretend he’s outraged as he twists the scalpel from Strange’s foot. The man lets out a gasp as the blade nicks the bones. Thor presses it against Strange’s throat as he pulls the man’s head back, “I’m going to say this once, so you’d better listen,” he waits a moment, “say what you will about me, but you speak another word against Loki and you’ll be finishing this conversation without the use of your tongue.” He runs the blade up and across the bound man’s cheek leaving a line of read in its wake, “Do we have an understanding?”

Strange swallows a few times, “Yes. No more talk about your _precious_ …” Strange stops as Thor tilts the blade into his cheek, “Loki.” He finishes quietly.

“Good.” Thor moves to check the fire and trade the scalpel for another tool on the table, “now tell me, how long have you been stalking him?” Sitting back down Thor let’s Strange see the hammer he is holding. It is almost a sledgehammer, expect not quite so large. He has it by the head and is tapping the handle against his chin as he waits.

“I see that a lack of social graces and basic reasoning have led you to believe your physical presence is intimidating.” Strange’s voice is airy in an attempt to hide his growing discomfort, “Ridding you of this notion will be my pleasure.” Strange raises an eyebrow at Thor’s snort, “Do not think yourself above my partner’s reaches.”

*****3 Hours Ago*****

“Your pacing isn’t going to make him return any faster.” Natasha doesn’t look up from her tablet.

Loki practically growls at her, “I know that!” He throws himself onto the couch next to her, “You sure what you give him will work?”

“For the last time, yes. I gave him enough for three people,” she smirks at him, “or Tony after a bender.”

Loki doesn’t smile, “We should have heard from him by now. I should have gone with him.”

“He will be fine. Thor can handle himself.” Natasha gives Loki a knowing look.

Loki huffs, “Of course he can, but that won’t stop me from wanting to be there with him.”

Natasha puts her tablet on the side table and shift until she can bump Loki’s shoulder, “Hey, it’s not everyday you find a guy that’s willing to disembowel an ex for you. I am almost jealous.”

“Don’t kid yourself Nat, Bruce would rip apart anyone who’d dare hurt you.” Loki bumps her shoulder, “I think I am more upset that I’m not upset over the fact that Thor is going to kill him.” Loki confesses.

“Hun, I can speak for everyone when I say no one is going to be upset with Strange’s death,” She pauses, “although, I kind of wish I could be there to watch that man choke on his own ego.” 

“I’m so glad we are friends.”

Natasha’s phone buzzes then. She looks at the screen, “Thor is on his way to the cabin.”

“And?”  
“And what? That’s all it says.”

Loki does growl at that, “He’d better make it out of this.”

*****Now*****

“Your partner,” Thor asks with a laugh, “sure you don’t mean your owner?” His smile is nothing but charming as Strange stiffens and glares.

“This idle chatter bores me. Shouldn’t you be using that little … _tool_ already?” Strange gives him another slow once over.

Thor stares at Strange for a moment, eyes hard. Leaning back, he gives the other man a smirk, “Pretty confident for a man tied to a chair.”

Strange attempts a shrug, “My people will find me soon enough.”

Thor’s grin turns wicked as he quietly asks, “Oh you mean because of your tracker?”

Strange eyes widen before they narrow again, a look of utter disgust on his face, “What makes you think I have such a device on my person?” Strange attempts to sniff forgetting his broken nose and instead gags.

Thor for his part waits until the other man settles down. Standing up to fiddle with the first Thor voice is a low purr, “Did you know the body can only handle so much sensation at any given time?” He moves back to his chair, the head of the hammer gleaming red. “Take for example just now. Your nose is broken, but you obviously forgot about it; most likely because of the pain in your foot.” Thor turns the other chair around with Strange still bound to it, “This is probably why you haven’t felt the pain in your forearm yet.” Thor pokes at a bandage on Strange’s arm. Strange flinches but is unable to move away. “As a doctor I’m sure you are already aware of this next little tidbit, but experience is always the best teacher.” Thor rips off the bandage and presses the hot hammer to the deep cut and Strange screams. “See how it feels so much more than just a burn?” Strange doesn’t answer too busy trying to catch his breath, “That’s because your tracker was cut out while you slept, and I’m such a gracious host by waking you with a broken nose so you didn’t feel it.” Thor removes the hammer from the now blistered arm, “it is just a shame to cauterize the cut means you had to suffer through all that pain.”

Thor turns the chair back around. Strange is taking halting breaths through his mouth. Thor only gives him a bright smile as he sits back in his own chair.

“You foolish man. How simple minded are you to think that the tracker was my only method of rescue.” Strange practically growls his threats to Thor, “My people know exactly where we are. You were so kind to share that information with that dear, _sweet_ Dr. Maximoff.”

Thor lets out another dark chuckle, “Then it’s a shame I gave her the wrong address,” Thor takes great pleasure in watching Strange stiffen and try to maintain an unaffected demeanor, “it’s also a shame that the address your people have just so happens to be a save house for someone who will be very annoyed to hear about its discovery.”

Strange arches an eyebrow at Thor, “This is of no concern, they knew the risks of their jobs and will be easily replaced.” 

Thor leans forward in his chair, a look of wicked joy on his face, “That is where you are wrong.”

Strange lets out a snort that quickly turns into a wince, “Oh yes bartender, do tell me how I am going to suffer for this great slight.”

“Why ruin the surprise? I think I’ll save that little secret for later.” Thor rolls the hammer between his hands, “Now, I’m going to offer you a deal.” He brings the hammer down on Strange’s right thigh when the man moves to speak. Ignoring the shout Thor continues, “Speak before I am done and next time it will be your knee,” he glares at Strange, “I am only going to offer this deal once, so pay attention. You have one chance to tell me every drug you’ve been dosing Loki with and the method, and I will consider ending this little meeting early,” Thor moves back to the stove tuning his back to Strange.

“What makes you think I’ve done anything to that whimpering pitiful – AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa” The scream is piercing before it ends in a choked gasp.

Thor stands over him breathing hard, “For being a supposed genius you seem unable to follow basic directions.” 

Strange coughs as he looks down at the mess that was once his left knee. His head rolls to the side, and he lets out a pained moan.

“Now then,” Thor sits back down and uses Strange’s shirt to wipe the blood off his hammer, “it would be in your best interest for you to tell me what you’ve been slipping Loki and for how long.” Thor rests the hammer on his other knee, “Full disclosure now doctor.”

*****3 Hours Ago*****

Loki’s apartment looks the same as the last time Thor was here. It feels even more impersonal than before, and Thor walks around idly taking note of anything that can be moved to his place. He doesn’t care how possessive it might be, Loki will be staying with him, indefinitely. They will just have to fight about it once this is all said and done. Although, Thor feels like it might not be such a big argument. He walks into the bathroom and sets the black case on the counter.

The tracker from the pill bottle is winking at him as he takes out the syringe filled with a murky fluid. He taps it as he slowly presses the excess air out. He may want to hurt Strange, but he doesn’t want to kill the man too soon. He’s been in the apartment for about 45 minutes now, long enough that he should have company shortly. No sooner does he think this than he hears the lock disengaging on the front door, “Show time.” He whispers to himself. 

The bathroom is the only source of light in the apartment as Thor listens to soft foot steps cross the living room. There is just one person walking around the apartment, it seems Strange is as predictable as Thor thought. The foot steps enter the bedroom and Thor watches through the space between door jam and door as Strange pauses as he notices the light. From his angle Thor knows he is hidden from view. Strange enters the bathroom, completely walking by Thor as he investigates the shower stall. Thor moves behind him, “Fancy meeting you here.” He whispers into the other man’s ear as he presses the needle into his arm. His other hand pressing into Strange’s mouth to silent the other man until the drugs take effect. 

It doesn’t take long, within minutes Strange is slumped in Thor’s arms. Thor is going to have to send Natasha and her people a gift basket. He lets Strange drop to the floor as he moves around the bathroom, gathering what he needs and putting the needle case back into his duffel bag. 

Walking back to the crumpled figure on the floor Thor muses, “I hope she gave me one that doesn’t dull sensation.”

*****Now*****

Strange’s face is pale and he is beginning to look genuinely worried, “I … I’ve been” his voice is raspy as he struggles to speak, “there’s a memory enhancer in his toothpaste.”

Thor waits but Strange doesn’t say anything else. Letting out a sigh Thor drops the hammer on Strange’s injured foot, “Oops, how clumsy of me,” He picks it up again as Strange shrieks and thrashes in the chair, “you could save yourself a lot of pain if you’d be honest.” Thor tsks and slowly shakes his head, watching Strange gulp, “I won’t ask again.”

Blinking sweat out of his wide eyes Strange rasps, “it was an experimental cocktail,” he glances at Thor, “one that should make a person relive their most painful memories while becoming increasingly depressed and anxious.”

Strange can’t hold back his tears as Thor grabs his knee and squeezes, “How were you administering it.” His voice is a low growl.

“Various methods,” Strange gags as Thor presses on his knee, “His coffee grounds, toothpaste, and the wine.” He shouts as Thor release his leg and stands up.

“How long will it stay in his system?” 

“It is metabolized quickly and if not re-administered regularly will be completely out of the system in two days.” Strange sags in the chair. 

Thor loams over him, “That’s good news, well maybe not for you.” 

“I’ve told you wanted to know, now hold up your end and let me go,” Strange’s voice is barely above a shaky murmur.

Thor laughs at the man. A full belly laugh, he has to sit down and wipe his eyes before he can speak again. “Let you go?!” Another laugh escapes him, “you’ve been sampling your own stuff for too long.” He stares at the doctor as he tells him solemnly, “Didn’t read the fine print.” Thor has an easy smile on his face as Strange stares at him in pained disbelief, “I said this meeting would end early, not that you would leave it early.” 

Strange gaps at him, “You bastard!” he spits at him, “Thanos will make you pay for this!” What ever reaction Strange is expecting, it’s not the one he gets. 

Thor snorts as he plants his boot on the chair between Strange’s legs, uncaring of the crushing damage he is inflecting. “So that is your little partner,” he lets his eyes go gentle as he grips Strange’s chin, “Can’t say I’m surprised you’ve grafted yourself to that disgusting bottom feeder.” He tightens his grip, “I might just let you live,” Thor’s smile is practically savage, “let him do it for me once he finds out just how badly you’ve screwed him.”

Strange is beyond words as the boot is finally lifted, he sobs as he feels wetness coat his thighs, “I’m not the one fucking with his top chemist.” He attempts to shout, but it is more of a whine.

“No, you’re the one who has angered the son of his boss.”

Strange stares at him, eyes narrowed in doubt, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Sitting back down in the chair Thor leans back as he props his boots on Strange’s lap, “I’m beginning to think you forged those doctorates,” the sounds Strange is making are barely human, “I guess I can’t be too disappointed. It’s not like you have the criminal underworld at your disposal.” Thor shifts and lets his feet land on Strange’s, “How about I help you out here,” his voice is soothing, “I’ll send you back to Thanos, all forgiven and forgotten.”

Strange goes still, “why would you do that? Too squeamish to do it yourself?” Strange sits up straight latching onto an idea, “Oh I know, Loki can’t stomach the idea of letting a killer fuck him.” 

The crack of bone is loud in the room as Thor’s boot comes down on the injured foot. Strange sucks in a breath before he is gagging on his own bile.

“Really, you brought that on yourself.” Thor turns away from the man, “Unlike you, Loki is far too intelligent to not look into the little puzzle I created.” Thor turns back around and smiles fondly, “Aren’t you Imp,” Thor seems to question the room. 

“What gave me away?” A voice filters through the bedroom door before it opens. Loki is standing there, an exasperated look on his face.

Thor walks over to him, pulling him into his arms, “I heard you try and stifle a laugh a few times. Not to mention the rattling of the window.” Thor kisses him on the corner of his mouth. He arches an eyebrow, “Should I be worried that torture makes you giggle?”

Loki swats at Thor, “I wasn’t giggling!” Loki swats at him again before kissing him back, “I was laughing at your over the top acting. Really Thor, ‘read the fine print’, no more _Suits_ or _Blacklist_ for you.”

“I hate to interrupt this touching display; but could someone tell me what the hell is going on?!” Strange fumes as he struggles in his bounds. 

Loki shares a smile with Thor, “You were right, he has no clue.” Loki frowns at the man who has caused him so much grief, “honestly I’m glad you decided to be an utter fool and worm you way back into my life. It lets me see just how weak you really are without all those chemicals.” He gives Strange a nasty smile, “I’m just going to sit over here and watch your world fall apart.” Loki settles on the couch and gives Strange a smug smile.

Thor steps between them, a hard look on his face, “Think before you speak doctor.”

Strange flinches before he can school his features, “He is of no concern. Thanos will deal with you both.”

Thor glances over at Loki with a shrug, “Has he always been this delusional?”

“This is him being realistic,” Loki quips  
.  
Thor groans, “Now where were we doctor?”

“You were about to let me go and bring about the end to your own useless life.” 

“Yes of course,” Thor picks up what looks to be a small saw, “that is after I tell you a little story.”

“I am beyond sick of your constant droning! Release me and I’ll let you get a head start.” Strange’s eyes are wild and his breathing harsh.

“Oh, you are going to want to hear this,” Thor leans over to whisper into his ear, “Odin will not be happy to learn how much trouble you’ve caused me.” Thor stands up straight and stares down at Strange as his face flicks through confusion and fear.

“How the fuck would you be in contact with Odin,” Loki lets out a chortle from the couch, Strange’s face tightens but he ignores him, “Wait, how do you know about Odin to begin with?!” 

Loki can’t help the full laugh that escapes him, “Seriously?! You must have done a background check on Thor.” At Strange’s glare Loki rolls his eyes, “Oh please let me tell him.” He inquires of Thor, who can only smile and shake his head in amusement.

“I can never refuse you. Go ahead.” 

Loki walks over to stand next to Thor, “Really Stephen, I’m disappointed you didn’t figure it out. This is Thor _Odinson_.” 

He smirks as Strange begins to get angry, “I am familiar with the man whose torture attempts leave much to be desired.” Strange clenches his eyes shut and stiffens, only to open them again when the blow doesn’t come. 

“Listen closely this time Stephen,” Loki enunciates as if talking to a small child, “Thor Odin ….. Son.”

There is a brief moment where Strange still has a look of annoyance before it slowly drains from his face and he stares in horror at the men in front of him, “nooo ….” He whispers as he looks to Thor, unadulterated fear draining his face of what little colour it had.

“That right Stephen,” Loki is nearly giddy with delight at Strange’s plight, “meet Odin’s son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poisoned Facts:  
> 1\. I have never tortured a person, I can't even watch torture horror movies and yet I wrote this. Ugh Forgive me if it is too unrealistic.  
> 2\. Originally I wasn't going to have Loki show up, but then I realize he is a little shit and wouldn't be able to stay away  
> 3\. So was the big twist as awesome to read as I pretended it was in my head?  
> 4\. Comments and Kudos feed my muse and are much appreciated!
> 
> Next time on WYGMLICAF: Strange has fucked up. Everything comes to light about Thor.


	27. Fall into that Chasm You’ve Dug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!
> 
> I have concluded I suck at posting on a schedule during the school year. (if you couldn't already tell). It doesn't help that the muse beat me over the head with another idea that I had to type up. 
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments!!  
> Enjoy!

If Loki was a better person, he’d probably feel some sort of shame at the pure joy he feels as Strange’s face crumbles into lines of dread and terror. No, that is a lie. He has no guilt about what he is feeling. A bit of confusion maybe, but no guilt. It’s as if the years of pain and fear he’s been carrying around are melting away. Staring at the man who’s haunted him, Loki notices that he doesn’t feel the cracks and sharp edges of all his pain. His head is clear, and he is calm. Smiling, he realizes he’s already faced his worse fear. Stephen returned and once again used him in his twisted experiment. Only, nothing really happened. This time he wasn’t alone, he had Thor. 

Thor had pulled him out of that dark unfeeling place. The purge had been horrible, and his stomach still felt ill, but he’s unharmed and feeling indescribably lighter. Looking over at the tall and imposing figure, Loki knows that he won’t be alone as he continues to heal. He feels a smile stretch across his lips as he turns back to Stephen. 

“You’ve heard of Odin Alfather? He’s this wealthy businessman who is reportedly a secret criminal mastermind with ties to a majority of the world’s governments. There was something else too …,” Loki pauses before continuing with a grin, “oh yes, leader of the organization, Asgard.” Loki leans over to Thor and asks in a stage whisper, “Isn’t that the same organization that Thanos was an up and coming member of?”

Thor gives Loki a fond look, “And you call me dramatic?” He huffs out a breath, “Also remind me to ask you later how you managed to give Natasha the slip and find your way here.” Loki gives Thor a wide-eyed look of innocence as he shrugs. Thor shakes his head in exasperation, “you are to never meet my father.”

Before Loki can voice an opinion on the matter they are interrupted, “The two of you are disgusting.” Strange’s voice is filled with repulsion and fury, “Getting off on doing daddy’s dirty work. Only way you can get it up Thor? Need to inflict a little violence to help get your jollies?” Strange’s eyes are almost glowing with his outrange. He meets Thor’s eyes and almost screams at him, “Only able to fuck him after you’ve brutalized someone?!” 

Thor eyes harden, and he takes a step toward the bound man when a hand stops him. Looking over at Loki he sees determination and lets him approach the doctor.

Loki slowly approaches Strange as he makes quiet sounds of disappointment, “Oh Stephen, you’ve made so many mistakes today. So very many that I don’t think you’ll fully realize how far you’ve dug your own grave.” Loki crouches down in front of Strange and moves to cup his cheek. Strange flinches at first but finds he can’t move too far, “Granted your first mistake was ever coming back, but that is minor compared to what you’ve complied.” Loki tenderly wipes at his cheek with an almost warm smile, “The one that will probably haunt you for how ever long you are left to live, is the fact that you pissed off the one man who had the potential to save you.” Loki stands up and his smile turns wistful, “Here I was going to convince Thor to leave you for his buddy with the CIA connection to find.”

“How generous of you to have me arrested and thrown in jail. Possibly executed for my crimes. I forgot how giving you could be.” Strange drawls.

“You seem to forget a lot,” Loki looks over at Thor, “like how your boss’s boss is going to find out how much _attention_ your experiments are gathering.” 

Strange’s mouth clicks shut at that. He shifts in his seat for a moment before letting out a pained sound. He looks to Loki with a softness that hasn’t been present, “Loki, my love, don’t you know I’ve done this all for you.” His voice is gentle and eyes gleaming with affection.

Loki stiffens before he abruptly moves away from the bound man, “It has always amazed me how you can turn on the benevolent doctor.” Loki shakes his head with a dark look, “Too bad it took me this long to realize it was just an act.” Loki turns to Thor and rests his head against his chest, “Don’t give him the reprieve of being taken into custody,” Loki is quiet for a moment before he asks, “Can we just leave?”

Thor gathers Loki in his arms, “I am just about done here; it is probably best if we are gone before sunset. Why don’t you go warm up the truck?”

Loki gives Thor a relieved look as he takes the keys and moves toward the door. He stops with one last look at Strange, “I’m glad you returned,” Loki gives him a small smile, “I’ve seen you for the weak, narrow-minded, fool you are, and I am free of your influence.” 

Loki opens the door as Strange calls out to him, “You were nothing before you met me! NOTHING!”

Not bothering to turn around Loki quietly tells him, “No Stephen, I was never nothing. No matter how hard you tried to diminish me.” Loki chuckles, “It’s you who are going to be nothing.”

Loki walks out the door ignoring the shouts Strange calls out after him. His steps are light as he walks to the truck. The air is chilled, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he takes a deep inhale. Looking up at the darkening sky Loki smiles is bright as he exhales; it’s going to be a beautiful drive home.

**********

Thor ignores Strange as he screams threats and pleas. The cabin doesn’t need much in the way of cleaning, he was smart enough to set out a tarp under the chair. His father’s people will also be sure to scrub any and all traces of Strange. Packing up his equipment Thor is relieved this ordeal is soon to be over. It has been years since he’s last had to use the skills his father taught him. In fact, it’s been years since he’s even thought of his old man. It’s hard to tell who was more shocked when he phoned Odin. They hadn’t parted on bad terms, but Thor had made it clear he wanted no part of Odin’s world. So much so that he still had a sizable trust left untouched.

Finished packing Thor paused to pull out his phone. He saw he had one text from an unknown number.

**Make your decision by 7. The cleaners will be there by then.**

Snorting at the terse text Thor sends a quick rely. 

**Gone in 10**

Sighing as he slips the phone back into his pocket Thor knows he’ll have to talk to Odin. More like remind the man he won’t be joining in the family business, maybe he should let his mother know. She was always able to curtail Odin. Giving the room one last glance Thor figures he can deal with his father later, once he and Loki are home. For now, he has one last gift for the good doctor.

Strange is weakly struggling in his bonds, his arms are scraped raw. It is almost sad how he tries to glare at Thor. He seems to have regained his haughtiness and composure. Despite appearances Strange’s breathing is labored and he is unable to completely mask his winces of pain.

“So, you’re the infamous lost son,” Strange sneers, “How sad for your father to have such a disappointment as an offspring. No wonder he hides you away.”

Thor lets out a laugh at that, “My father only hides me away at my request. His greatest wish is for me to put aside my silly foray in legal employment and take my rightful place at his side.” 

Strange scoffs, “Was this just some rouse to get back into daddy’s good graces? Show the old man you still have it?” He pauses trying to control his breathing, “Too bad you targeted his best chemist.”

Thor pulls out a plastic bag with a few capsules from his duffel bag. Dumping them into his hand he approaches Strange, “Funny, he seemed to think you were the weakest link.” He pinches Strange’s nose and tips the pills into his mouth as Strange gasps. Thor quickly covers his mouth and tilts his head back, forcing him to swallow. “Apparently your little stunts in India have made a few people look a little too closely at his organization.” Thor grimaces at his hand, wiping it on Strange’s shirt before moving to the sink and washing up, “In fact he already had a new person lined up for the job. They were appalled at the state of your lab; appears this Dr. McCoy doesn’t believe in human experimentation.”

Strange lets out a strangled scream, “That fucking _beast_ is a waste of potential! Too obsessed with the care and comfort of others.” Strange’s voice is slurred and his head wobbles.

“All reasons Odin felt he was a better fit,” Thor dries his hands, “he wants non-addictive pain killers and memory enhancing meds, not paralytics and pain enhancers.”

“li - lieesssssssss …..” Strange mouth gapes as his head rolls forward.

“No, you were just too power drunk to realize the grave you’ve dug.” Thor gathers his bag. He tips Strange’s head back, so he can look him in the eyes, “It felt fitting for you to experience what you put Loki through all those years ago. Can’t say I’d want pictures of you though.” Thor walks toward the door, “Although who knows what fun Odin has in store for you.” 

Thor ignores the garbled shouts as he shuts the door and walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on WYGMLICAF: Thor and Loki have a visitor waiting for them.


	28. Unwanted Visitors Bearing Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings!  
> Look a chapter posted on a weeknight! ::gasp:: Don't tell but I might have actually gotten all my RL work done ... at work. Anyways a big thank you to everyone reading, to all the kudos, and all the comments. I can't believe this story almost has 10,000 hits!! You all rock!!
> 
> Enjoy!

The drive home although dark and quiet is much more peaceful than the trip to the cabin. Thor is mentally cataloging everything he needs to do before he can put an end to the day. Loki is staring out the window, content to watch the darken country side pass him by. Both were restless to get home, but neither were quite ready to discuss everything. Thor was curious about how Loki got himself to the cabin. He was more concerned about what favor his father might want in exchange for his help. 

It did not matter that Thor was his only son, nor did it matter that if Strange had not been stopped Odin’s empire would have fallen. He probably only cared about the monstrosities Strange conducted because his newest investors, human rights advocates, would be appalled; that and there was more money in non-addictive pain medication than anxiety inducing one. The only thing that would matter to Odin is that his son called and asked for help. He had not built an international criminal syndicate by being helpful. Thor knew this first hand, it was one of the main reasons his mother had decided to leave Odin and raise Thor herself. She hadn’t even accepted any of the money Odin sent for Thor’s upbringing. Thor himself had a few accounts under his birth name with millions from Odin, money he would never touch. 

In his youth Thor had sought out his father. He’d joined his organization, learned the ins and out of being a ‘mob boss’. At first it had been exciting, all the different people, the trips, and the late-night meetings. Then as Thor matured and his eyes were opened to the horrors his father condoned, in the name of the greater good, he left. His mother accepted him back with open arms, she had never begrudged him his relationship with his father, but she was relieved when Thor returned. Thor was never so grateful to his mother and her decisions to cut ties when he graduated college on his own merits. He’s built a life for himself and it was on his own terms, not indebted to a man he could barely call father.

Thor had learned that Loki knew his background, his real one and not the one fabricated by his father’s best men. It had started when they discussed their families. Loki was too smart for his own good, he read between the lines and listened to the things not spoken. Thor at first was sick with dread that his father would be a sticking point between them. Instead it was acknowledged, “you can’t tell me no one else has figured out your last name, _Odinson_ ”, and promptly ignored, “I’m not my parents and you are not yours”. 

Thor was just turning into his neighborhood when Loki finally spoke up, “Should we send you father a thank you card?” His bright eyes look over at Thor, a touch of mischief in their depts, “or would that only encourage him?”

Thor can’t help the chocked laugh, “Don’t worry we can add one to the payment he’ll demand.”

“Of course, he’d want us to pay him for helping with his problem,” Loki gripes, “isn’t not contacting the authority’s payment enough?”

“See that is the thinking of a logical individual,” Thor grins at Loki, “need to get into the mindset of a sociopath with narcissistic tendencies.” Thor can feel the eye roll Loki gives him, 

“Look at you, making use of that psych minor,” he’s quiet for a moment, “Did they find Wanda?”

Thor swallows thickly, “Yeah,” he clears his throat, “yeah, they got her and her brother to a hospital and they are being monitored. Last I heard both are expected to make a full recovery.”

They pull into Thor’s driveway, “Good, that’s good. Huh, looks like Natasha decided to stay here instead of going back home.”

Lights are on in the house, and the porch light flicks on as Thor shuts off the engine, “She probably was too impatient to wait till tomorrow to make sure I returned you safely.”

Loki scoffs lightly, “Don’t ever breathe a word of this to anyone, but you are on her ‘people I tolerate’ list.”

Thor laughs a little too hard, still tense from earlier, “Noted and forgotten. Come one let’s get this over with, so we can go to bed.”

“Ugh, bed!” Loki lets out a long sigh.

Thor hands Loki the house keys while he moves to the truck bed to grab his bag. He checks his phone and sees that Bucky thanked him for the heads up on Strange. Thor furrows his brow as he sends a response, “I never gave you a heads up”. He pockets his phone knowing that Bucky probably won’t respond any time soon. Walking toward the porch Thor hears raised voices. Running into the house he is met with a sight he never expected.

Loki is standing just inside the door, he’s holding the table lamp like a baseball bat. Across the room calmly sitting on in one of the arm chairs is a tall, dark haired woman. She is smirking at Loki. She is dressed in tight black pants, a dark green tee shirt and motorcycle boots. She is wearing heavy eye liner and as relaxed as she appears there is a tension to her posture.

Thor takes the lamp from Loki as he addresses the woman, “Long time Hela, what the hel are you doing here?”

The woman lets out a musical laugh, “Why Thor, it’s not polite to have inside jokes in front of guests.”

“You are no guest, an unwanted visitor at most,” Thor moves to sit one the couch, “I’ll ask again, what are you doing here?”

Loki watches the exchange with a critical eye. He makes no move away from the door as he continues to regard the stranger. Something about her sets off warning bells in his head. Although Thor sits down and is acting as calm as the woman Loki can tell he is on edge.

“Dear _brother_ , that is no way to greet your only sister, especially since I come with gifts!” Her voice is mellow and would be soothing if not for the cold look in her eyes.

“No.” Thor is quick to respond.

“You don’t even know what I have.” Her eyes harden even more as her lips press into a thin line.

“Tell father, thank you but no thank you. It was lovely to see you Hela,” Thor stands and opens the front door, “next time be sure to warn of your arrival, so we can be away.”

Hela rolls her eyes with a huff, “How you are still his favourite is beyond me.” She stands up and smooths imaginary wrinkles from her shirt as she grabs a leather jacket from beside her, “here, can’t say I didn’t give this to you,” she tosses a plain envelope on the table, “now if you’ll excuse me, I’m wanted at a celebration party.” She tosses her hair in Thor’s face as she passes him. Before she leaves she turns toward Loki, “I left my number if you ever want to be with a real Odinson.” She blows him a kiss and is gone.

The room is quiet as the sounds of a motorcycle engine turns over. It revs loudly before it takes off. Thor stands holding the door, staring out into the night before he seems to shake himself out of it and shuts the door. He adds ‘new locks’ to his ever-growing to-do list. Loki moves about the house checking for Frick and Frack. Thor can hear him cooing at the duo in the bed room and lets out a relieved sigh. As Loki gets the cats settled Thor goes around the house checking windows and doors. He puts a call into a Locksmith for tomorrow as he checks the basement. The house appears undisturbed, he’ll give it a more thorough once over in the morning. 

Returning to the living room Thor stares at the innocent looking envelope. Nothing from his sister is ever innocent. She is his father’s left hand. The one to deal out the punishments his father deems necessary but refuses to dirty his own hands. Loki steps into the living room, he presses against Thor offering comfort.

Thor rubs at his eyes as he gathers Loki close, “This can wait till morning. Let’s go to bed.”

No words are needed as they enter the bedroom. Stripping down to boxers they climb into bed, fighting over spots that Frick and Frack have claimed. Then as if they’ve been doing it for years, they tangle together finding a comfortable position and are sleep before their heads full hit the pillow.

They sleep peacefully through the night, completely unaware of the turmoil heading their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on WYGMLICAF: What's in the envelope?!
> 
> Any guesses?


	29. An End to This Chapter of Our Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it! 
> 
> Enjoy!

The early morning dawn was filled with splashes of reds and oranges. It was beautiful Thor mused as he sipped his coffee, only to be reminded of the old adage: _red sky at night, sailors delight; red sky in morning sailors take warning_. He’d been up for some time, long enough to feed the starving (if they were to be believed) cats, make coffee, and stare at the envelope his sister had left. Idly wondering if the morning sky was an omen, Thor absentmindedly scratch Frick behind the ear as he set his cup down. 

Yesterday still weighted heavy on h is mind. Between his meeting with Strange, contact with his father, and visit from his sister, Thor was exhausted. Nothing sounded better than going back to bed and curling up with Loki. He could get a few more hours of sleep and then wake Loki up in the best way. Letting out a sigh, Thor knew he wouldn’t be returning to bed until he dealt with whatever was contained in the nondescript envelope. Funny how his life could be ruined by something so small and unassuming. 

Slipping his finger under the seal Thor pulled out the contents. At first it looked like it was nothing more than a letter, but upon opening it a few items fluttered to the floor. Picking one up Thor grimaced and resisted the urge to rip up the offensive item. Dropping it and the rest on the table he opened the letter and began to read. It wasn’t very long, and it was completely unwanted. Finishing Thor tossed it on the table with everything else. He leaned his head back and let out a groan. Frick, annoyed with all the movement and sounds, especially since they weren’t from him nor meant food huffed and wanted back into the bedroom. 

Watching the cat saunter off Thor thought about Loki and what this letter meant for their future. Staring at the lightening sky he knows he has a decision to make, one which ends in heartache regardless of his choices. He might be able to lessen the severity of it, but he knows that it will hurt no matter what. He rubs at his eyes, wishes that destroying everything would make it go away. Instead of burning it like he wishes, Thor gatherers everything and walks to his office, decision made.

He opens the wall safe behind his desk and places everything inside. This is where he keeps his real birth certificate, anything related to the vast wealth his father tries to bribe him with, and a few photographs of his parents before his father left them. He closes and locks the safe, shutting all the future heartache away for the time being. Not wanting to dwell on it, Thor heads back to the bedroom, intending to carryout his earlier plan.

Seven Months Later

“Thor! We’re dangerous close to being late!! I do not want to have to tell Natasha we were late to the big company 100th case celebration because you don’t understand a quickie shouldn’t take an hour!” Loki’s voice rings out from the living room; he makes sure his tie is perfect and cat hair free (mostly). He truly isn’t mad, how can he be after the orgasm he had in the shower, but he also really doesn’t want to be late.

Since their little adventure into the mountains, life has been calm and filled with simple joys. Loki still works at the law office but has cut back his case load significantly. He finds that a lighter case load has improved his stress levels and he’s better able to deal with his anxiety. Oddly enough, he’s taken to bartending at Mjolnir and is finding it more than agreeable. It doesn’t hurt that he’s made friends with Darcy. He’s pretty sure Thor regrets allowing them work the same shifts. 

Wanda and her brother made full recoveries, and she was back at her practice. Loki still saw her for sessions about once a month, except now they were more a time for them to share in their experiences and move on together. Having another person who’s gone through something similar with Strange has allowed Loki to finally stop blaming himself and realize Strange was ultimately the only one at fault. 

The best part of it all was selling his apartment and moving in with Thor. Their relationship has been a constant and strong bond between them. After learning more about Thor’s father and sister, this time from Thor himself, Loki realizes that they both had demons in their pasts. 

He turns away from the mirror by the door as he hears Thor’s footsteps approaching, “Finally! I was about ready to …” He stops as he takes in Thor’s appearance, the party is a black-tie affair and Loki knows Thor had his suit laid out on the bed, but he’s not wearing it. Instead he’s in faded jeans, a black tee, and his leather jacket and is carrying a small suitcase. Once more, he has such a sorrowful look it makes Loki’s breathe catch, “Thor? What’s wrong?”

Thor drops the suitcase and walks toward Loki, he takes the other man’s hands into his own with a weary sigh. “I’m not going to be able to make it tonight,” his voice is quiet but rough with emotion. “I already contacted Natasha, she knows what’s going on and is sending a car to pick you up.”

“What? Why? Did something happen at the bar? Is everyone okay?” Loki begins to worry.

“No Imp, everyone is fine,” Thor tells him as he cups his cheek, “there is something I need to tell you. Something you probably are not going to like.” Thor swallows a few times, “I need you to promise me something first.”

Loki looks at him, takes in pinched look around his eyes and the hard line of his mouth. Loki shifts closer and lays a hand along Thor’s neck, seeking to offer some little comfort, “Anything.” He whispers.

“Remember that I love you. I will always love you.” This isn’t the first time Thor has said these words to him, but it’s the first time they’ve felt like a good-bye. 

“Thor, you’re scaring me.”

“Please Imp, promise me.” Thor closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Loki’s, “Promise me.” He says in a voice barely a whisper.

“I love you too, of course I promise you.” Loki feels a little of the tension leave Thor’s body as the other man stands back up.

“Do you remember the envelope Hela left for me?” Thor asks in a tight voice.

Loki arches a brow, “Yes … I had thought you’d thrown it away, since you’ve never mentioned it.”

“If only I could have,” Thor tries to smile but it only looks pained, “it was a list of names and photographs of those people in my father’s organization he feels are loyal to his rival, one who has even less of a moral compass than my father.”

Loki stares at Thor, not quite understanding what he is telling him, “Why would your father send you that, and why bring it up now?”

“The envelope had another item, a plane ticket to Mexico. One that was post marked for tonight.”

“What? Thor… what are you telling me.” 

“In return for his services in dealing with the Strange problem, my father has requested my aid in finding those people he feels are corrupting his organization.”

“It was his fucking problem too!” Loki is livid as he pulls away from Thor and begins to pace, “So, you’re just going to go? He snaps his fingers and you go along with it?! What the hell Thor, I thought you’d walked away from that life. On top of all of that, you couldn’t fucking tell me sooner?”

Thor watches Loki as he rants, a fond smile touching his lips. Loki is a vision in his anger, even with that anger directed in part at Thor. He tries to imprint this moment into his memory, something to make him smile in the coming months. 

“I didn’t want our time together to seem like it had an expiration date.” Thor mutters quietly as he takes back Loki’s hand, pulling him back, “I didn’t want you to worry about it.”

Loki lightly thumps his fist against Thor’s chest and lets out a snort of annoyance, “Instead you wait until we are about to go somewhere and spring this on me?” He glares at Thor, more hurt than anger in his expression, “I thought we didn’t keep secrets.”

Thor lets out a heavy sigh, “I have no words to make up for not telling you. I did what I thought was right, you’d just been through hell and I didn’t want to add to it.”

“That is a shit excuse,” Loki pulls away from Thor, too angry to be near him at the moment. “You’ve got to stop treating me like I’m going to fall apart. It’s been months since that night, months without an episode. Plenty of time to let me know that you were going to leave the country. Hell Thor, how long are you going to be away?” 

“I don’t know. Could be weeks, could be months,” Thor’s voice is broken as he watches Loki move away from him, “but I will be back.”

“Norns!” Loki practically shouts in frustration, “Norns, how I do love you.” He moves back and wraps his arms around Thor. Tilting his head up he slides their lips together. It lasts forever, it is over too soon. Pulling away both men keep their eyes close as they simple breath. “I love you and I’ll keep my promise, but right now I want to hate you.”

Thor opens his eyes and stares into Loki’s anger filled green orbs, “I know.” Thor clears his throat against the lump lodged there, “Luckily for me you have time to stop hating me.” He tries for humor, but it comes out flat. The sound of tires on the driveway pulls their attention. Thor lets go of Loki and steps away, “I’ll miss you.” He tells the other man quietly.

Loki opens the door, he stares back at Thor; longing and fury clear in his eyes, “I’ve already begun to miss you.” He shuts the door behind him, leaving Thor staring after him.   
Listening to the car pull away Thor picks back up his suitcase. Out of the side pocket he takes out a letter and place it on the coffee table, it has Loki’s name on it in his bold handwriting. He’s not sure if Loki will open it right away, but only hopes he doesn’t throw it away. He looks around the living room one last time. Taking in all the changes that have happened since Loki moved in. Feeling the tears finally fall Thor leaves without a backwards glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as some of you may have notice this is now part of a series. I am going to be putting up a teaser chapter for the next story: Remind me Again That I Love You. I wanted to end WYGMLICAF here because it's story arch felt finished, but now a new story arch has started. This time around Loki has dealt with the demons of his past and is a much more confident person. He's changed since we last saw him, and now the questions is how will these changes influence his relationship with Thor. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's stuck by this!!! I send out electronic love to all of you! Your kudos and comments were amazing. Hope to see you in REATILY!!


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